Aug 112010

WholeSexLifeMy life seems perfectly normal to me. I have a job, I take care of my home and my family, I work hard and try to have fun, and I think about sex most of the time. Just like everyone else, right? Then sometimes, I step back and take a look at my life from someone else’s prospective. And I laugh. Because my “normal” life is very different from what we’ve been led to believe is normal.

I’ll give you an example: bits and pieces of yesterday…

Melanie (Harold’s wife – well, other wife – she married him first and it’s legal) stopped by at 7:30 this morning to drop off our daughter before rushing off to catch a ride to work with her boyfriend. Her car needs to visit the shop and the boyfriend is currently staying at Harold and Melanie’s house until he can move into his own place.

At 10:00 Joel and I were driving into town to run errands. Joel was browsing Craigslist personals while I drove, but he made sure to share the choice bits with me. Great headlines like “Got a good sperm count?” and “I JUST WANT TO LICK! IS THAT SO WRONG?” and “Join me for arts and crafts,” (which you would think was simply miscategorized, but he included a picture of his flacid cock). Joel is half-heartedly looking for a girlfriend or a sexual play partner, but I don’t think Craigslist is the way to go.

Around 11:00, still running errands, I looked at my Facebook. Several people I’ve never met are wanting to be friends. As I check them out, one of the guys’ interests catch my eye – emetophilia, polyamory, bisexuality. Now, I know the second two, so what is the first one? I looked it up. Yay! A new word… that means, basically, Roman showers. Being aroused by vomiting or by someone vomiting on you. Now, I’m completely phobic about puking (me or someone else), so it’s hard for me to imagine eroticizing or fetishizing the experience, but I’m totally fascinated. Is he actually serious? I sent him a message asking.

I read some while waiting for Joel. Currently, I’m reading Sex At Dawn: the Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality by Christopher Ryan, Ph.D. & Cacilda Jethá, M.D., a book highly recommended by the poly community. It’s great. I’ve been reading bits out loud to anyone who will listen. Basically, this book is explaining how monogamy is unnatural – a newer construct in the evolutionary scheme of human history, developed around the same time as agriculture. According to this book, humans originally lived in small groups where they shared resources, raised children together, and had lots of fantastically orgasmic group sex. I’m not sure how good their science is, but it makes a whole lot of sense to me. And it’s a highly entertaining read. Yesterday I was reading about Darwin’s sex life!

By 2:00 Joel and I were home again. My new Facebook friend who is into emetophilia had messaged me back. He actually is into vomiting! His mail was very thoughtful and honest, which I totally appreciate. He said, “…it’s fun to do that which society labels taboo or disgusting, like emetophilia.” That’s exactly what I’ve been saying about a variety of things that seem pretty out there. If it gets you off, and you can do it safely, have a good time!

Harold and I spent the afternoon making love. It was the kind of stuff we are usually into – some oral sex 69 style, lots of talking, a bit of CBT, G-spot experimentation, several orgasms, and some straight forward fucking. Followed by some crying and some more talking. Oh, and I peed in the woods, which is a new skill for me. It’s easier if you are naked. I think it’s sort of sexy.

Joel, Harold, and I all made dinner together. It’s a warm and wonderful feeling, all touching each other while we work, stopping for kisses when we cross paths… I love spending time with both of my lovers together, even just doing things around the house.

Later Harold and I watched a movie. It was a fairly recent movie about relationships and dating. I found it kind of depressing and alien. I don’t think I’ve ever lived in that world.

And that was my day! Perfectly normal.