Dec 162010

Golden ballDuring this holiday season I’m thinking a lot about anticipation. That expectation of pleasure is something that I enjoy as much as the thing itself. It’s like waiting for Santa to arrive or for someone you love to open a present you worked hard to prepare. It’s remembering favorite rituals from years past and hoping that it comes out as well this year. It’s all of the flash and sparkle, the pageantry and promise, the plotting and planning. It’s letting your sensual side sway you – every smell brings back a joyous memory, every taste dances on your tongue – for a while, you can let yourself live in the moment. Or in the moment about to come.

I think that this is the true magic of the holidays. And for me, it’s often where I find my bliss. I enjoy planning things. Usually, I like my sex to flow naturally, but sometimes I get a thought in my head and I can’t let it go. I start to figure out how to make it happen and what I need to know or acquire to bring the fantasy to life. Then I think about it in all of my spare moments. I imagine what it might look or feel like. Anticipation is a delicious thrill that starts at the arches or my feet and travels up my legs to my cunt, making me all wet with need. I also feel it in my chest and it goes up to my throat and my mouth. Then I long for something to fill me. I long for the thing to happen!

Right now I’m anticipating one of the gifts I got for Joel. I can’t tell you what it is yet because I don’t want to ruin the surprise! But… (It has to do with bondage and CBT, which Joel doesn’t like, but I think he’ll like this – shhhh!) I think he will look so good in it. I can’t wait. I keep thinking about how hot it will be. Truth is, he may not be into it, but this particular gift is more for me. I am getting a lot out of fantasizing and waiting for him to open the present. The waiting is exquisite.

Red candleI’m also full of anticipation for trying out fire play for the first time. Harold and Melanie have experience, but I’ve never tried it. I’m wondering how it will feel and if I’ll like it. I’m totally excited by the possibilities. I keep thinking about what might happen. I’m turned on by imagining what it would look like. What if we could draw in fire on each other’s bodies? Or write words? And what if we combined fire play and CBT? Oh my… I get so hot thinking about it. My plan is to try out fire play next Tuesday, which happens to be the Winter Solstice, the darkest day of the year. It seems fitting. And it’s only 5 days away!!! I am savoring the wait.

I’m all hot and bothered now. But satisfaction is on it’s way and so are the holidays. I’m full of anticipation for things to come. In fact, you can be sure I’m going to come before Santa does!