Dec 272010

Evoe behind rebarWe’re home from our grand holiday poly family vacation! I know that this was the best Christmas ever for me, but I’m having a hard time feeling it right now. I’m exhausted and overwhelmed by all of the various stimuli. I feel cold and shivery and I just want to be held and soothed. Fuck! What I need is aftercare. We just did this big intense scene, right? Now I need some TLC. It makes sense when I look at it the right way.

So here I am all cozied up in bed, with a warm cup of tea, and my guy snuggled beside me. I’ve put everything away and calmed the chaos. Time for me to try to process some of my experiences on our trip. Time for me and my needs.

Doing bad things with kitchen toolsOne of the most amazing things about this trip is that I actually managed to have sex with both of my partners. I don’t think that’s ever happened on a family vacation before. Harold and I made some time before dinner last night – mostly talking through some of our emotions, but then we had to try some CBT with this weird dicing implement we found in the kitchen. We didn’t have anything to tie off his balls, so we used my pink lace thong. Strangely enough, the CBT led to sex.

And then this morning, Joel got a little forceful in the bathroom and brought me to orgasm between me putting in my contact lenses and my hair gel. I was very happy to return the favor by dropping to my knees in front of him. Again, it was no surprise that these activities led to some fabulous sex.

Looking over my loot, it’s pretty obvious that sex is my only hobby right now. Good thing it’s a broad interest. I have so many great things to try. The electrical toys are exciting. The cock-shaped bakeware will be fun to mess around with. I have a book full of sex puzzles to figure out. And bondage gear! I have giant padded twist ties, a long bungee with carabiner ends, and on our way home we found a whole spool (150 feet!) of red chain for sale in the grocery store for only $25. It makes me happy to plan out what I’m going to do with these things.

Red chainI think the other big thing for me has been feeling our family come together. This was our fourth Christmas together, but our first with everyone. Polyamory can be so complicated and difficult, but I want to acknowledge that all of the work that we’ve put into it  has paid off. We’re never going to be perfect, but as a family, we rock. We really have been building a system where everyone can get their needs met most of the time. It’s one thing to believe it, but it’s mind-blowing to finally get it.

I am a lucky girl, even though I feel trashed. I’m going to keep taking good care of myself by going to sleep now. Even with the best, most drawn out scenes – no, especially with the best, most drawn out scenes – I need some aftercare until I feel like I’m a part of the world again. I’m going to give myself that care until I feel better!