Jan 302011

Hug a tree!I’m still trying to get used to being overweight.

Today I gave in to my weight anxiety and tried on a supportive tank top. Actually, the tag said it was a tummy toning lace trim cami. It was incredibly hard to squeeze into and I felt restrained, kind of like wearing a garment made of rubber bands. Sadly the tag’s claim to make me “suddenly skinny” did not prove out to be true. After watching this whole process my 13-year-old daughter said, “Yeah, you’d be skinny after struggling to get into the thing for an hour. Do you need help getting out?”

I’m at a point where I need some new clothes and would particularly like to buy some new lingerie – something beyond bras and panties. I’m amazed to find that there are a bunch of good options for plus sized lingerie out there, both online and local stores. Now I just have to get over myself.

The problem is that it feels like giving up to buy plus sized clothes. I don’t actually care what size clothes I wear, as long as I feel comfortable, happy, and sexy in my body. I want to be able to do all the things I want to do in this body. Right now I’m not feeling great in my body. I want to change my weight and how fit I am. In fact I’ve already lost 5 pounds in the last month. Do I really want to buy clothes if I’m going just keep losing weight?

But then, what if I don’t lose more weight right away? Having clothes that I feel fabulous and attractive in will help me to feel positive about my body, which will help me lose weight, right? Clothing might be a superficial focus, but I love lingerie. I especially want to do things for myself that make me feel good right now. I’m going to feel better trying on size ranges that fit than one that don’t.

I remember 12 years ago, or so, when I was shopping in plus sized stores. It felt good to actually have some options, to try on clothes and have them be too big, and to find clothes that fit. Considering that there are so many more options now, the experience should be even better.

I am going to get over my aversion to plus sizes. I do love my body even if it doesn’t feel comfortable right now. I want to be able to express myself through my clothing, no matter what size I am. I am a curvy grrrl and I need some lingerie!

  • TheMorrhigan

    You go, girl! I know exactly how you feel. I love having clothes that fit, but I hate being labeled as “plus size.” Good grief. What does that even mean, anyway? A size is a size. Should really skinny people be “minus size?”