Jan 272011

Pink sandalsI set out just to write an honest blog about my sex life. I think I do pretty well at that, but I’m starting to notice that keeping a blog affects my sex life, in both positive and negative ways. How do I keep my sex pure, honest and meaningful without letting the reporting color the event? How did sex get so complicated?

For one thing, the equipment has gotten out of hand. It used to be that all you needed was some naked horny people! Now I’ve outgrown my tool box of sex toys, and I have a shoulder bag in addition to the tool box. And there’s the bag with all of my camera gear. And my purse. And another bag with things that we might need, generally consumables. When Harold and I went away for the weekend we had our suitcases and the trample table too! I need a better system – different containers for different types of toys or my own studio or something.

Then there’s always my partners’ trepidation – are you going to be blogging about this? Although I usually let them read my posts before they go live, it must be a bit unnerving. To be fair, they’re often giving me suggestions about good blog topics. They’ve been fabulously supportive, but it must be difficult knowing that any private moment is potentially blog fodder. If I had more time I might try to use some of these men who are coming out of the woodwork, asking to be used. It sounds like a lot of work.

Wanting photos for each post has also become somewhat restrictive. It’s hard to take photos of an experience without changing the experience. I find myself stopping in the middle of Tall Doc Marten'ssomething really hot to take a photo and hoping that it doesn’t ruin the moment. Worse are the times when I rule out sex altogether because the light is bad. And I suddenly act different when a camera is pointed at me. I may feel totally sexy, but the instant the camera is pointed at me, I’m thinking about how overweight I am. Which, incidentally, does not make for very good photos.

There’s also the phenomenon of trying some sex act just so I can blog about it but I don’t really see a problem with that. That’s just hot and sexy. It’s like playing Truth-or-Dare or using a purity test as a checklist.

I’m doing my best to keep it real. A sense of humor helps a lot. So does keeping my boundaries and only doing what feels right. I cherish my relationships and value the love we have. Ultimately, it’s the love that’s important. I can always fake the photos.