So often Harold and I typify gender roles around sex, but for the opposite gender. Last night was like that. I warmed him up with a little foreplay. We switched to 69. I fucked him and I came. I kept going, but just before he was about to come the bed slats started popping out. So I rolled off of him and fell asleep almost instantly, while Harold laid there feeling warm and emotionally satisfied, if a little sad for not having had an orgasm.
I’m not sure where gender stereotypes come from or how true they are. I’ve often written about how I feel like a boy when I’m with Harold, but what does that mean? Is it based in fact? Like how I want to fuck everything when I’m wearing a strap-on. Is that an average response to a hard-on? I know that the stereotype is that men think more about sex than women, but I bet I think more about sex than Harold does. I know I masturbate way more than he does – like 1 to 3 times a week compared to his 1 to 3 times in the past year. Does that make me more like a boy?
Maybe not, because the more sex I’m having, the more interested I am in more sex or in masturbating. Keeping up with two relationships means I’m generally having more sex. And I think more about sex, which turns me on and makes me want more sex. The great thing is, I can orgasm as many times as I want. Now Harold is also keeping up with two relationships, but his capacity for orgasm is limited by biology. Coming by himself by way of masturbation may mean that he won’t be able to come with a partner later. So if the stereotype that men jerk off more than women has any basis in reality, it’s in situations very different than mine. Perhaps in situations where people just aren’t having sex with each other, men beat off more than women.
My original example, where I went to sleep after coming and Harold didn’t, I believe has a lot to do with biology. The stereotype is that men just fall asleep after sex. Well, from what I know about the hormones released with orgasm, particularly oxytocin, getting sleepy is to be expected. Oxytocin tends to make everything warm and fuzzy around the edges. It’s the hormone that makes your eyes dilate when you gaze into the eyes of someone you love. Essentially, if you orgasm enough with the same person, oxytocin will make sure that you fall in love. I find it fascinating! So, it’s not that men are insensitive for falling asleep – men are insensitive for not making sure their partner orgasms, so they both will fall asleep.
Which I guess makes me insensitive for not making sure that my partner came. But he didn’t mind, honest! He wouldn’t have probably come anyway. And he had a good time, he was happy with it. What? Why are you looking at me like that?