Feb 162011

I’m about to embarrass myself here.

Peeing in the woodsI’ve discovered that I really like to pee outdoors. I don’t do it very often or in front of other people, but I’ve been exploring the limits of what I can do like every little boy in the world. How far can I make the stream go? Can I make designs? Ooooh! Look how cool it is when there’s steam coming off of it! I’m a scientist, I want to know.

This isn’t going to make sense to some of you. That’s okay. I believe that men and women have very different experiences around urination. Until the past year, I hated peeing in the woods because I would inevitably pee in my shoes and generally dribble all over. This is because I would pull my pants and underwear down around my ankles and try to lean back and squat down at the same time, preferably with my butt aimed downslope. And I would pee right onto my clothes and shoes because they were effectively bound in front of me and my urethra points in that direction. No one ever told me there was a better way!

Then last May Harold and I went on a 6 hour hike. I was left with no other choice. So I took off my shorts and panties and just squatted. It worked perfectly. No dribbles. Just like a guy. (Well, sorta.) Suddenly, I understand dresses. Dresses let women pee as easily as men do in pants. Now I probably pee outside about once a week, but I’m usually already naked.

What does this have to do with sex? Well, not much. There was that one time that I peed in Harold’s mouth because he urged me to (long story), but I’m not into golden showers or anything. It’s just that I’m experiencing an awareness of my body that is new. I’ve pretty much ignored urination for most of my life. Now peeing feels cleaner, more natural, and more integrated as a part of me. It’s changed my self image from a fumbling girl to a fully functioning grrrl. I have this cool thing that I can do. And I’m talking about it because adults don’t. And maybe we should.

And you know what else? I kinda like picking my nose too.

  • Roundbottom2

    Go for it girl!  I’d like to make another suggestion, with the hope I don’t embarrass you.
    You might also try pooping in the woods. But wait until you really,really have to go. I find it’s a pleasure
    akin to good sex.