Mar 252011
 

Corbin Fisher, Men in HeatDo I have your attention now? Good, because I feel like such a hypocrite. I’m always telling other people to explore their sexuality and pay attention to what feels right for them. I’m always complaining about how the porn that’s out there right now doesn’t do anything for me. You know why? Because I’ve been looking in the wrong places. You know what really, really, really turns me on? Yep, hot gay male porn.

This afternoon Joel sent me one of those e-cards as a sort of, have a happy day, pick-me-up things. It’s totally sweet. Only this card has a warning, “by clicking on the link below, you’ll be taken to our gay adult oriented website, overflowing with naked skin, ripped muscle, and hot young college guys!” Wow. And I follow the link, but it doesn’t work. So I just go to the Corbin Fisher website.

I can’t even describe how I started feeling looking at those clean-cut, smooth bodied, well muscled young men touching each other intimately. It’s like it got harder to breathe. I felt excited and a little scared, like riding a ferris wheel, kind of a tingly thrill that travels from my chest to the bottoms of my feet, but mostly stays in my cunt. My mouth got wetter and my tongue kept traveling from the roof of my mouth to my lips. I really wanted to taste those boys.

Corbin Fisher, in the showerI got completely sucked in. I read the story outlines for the porn movies. I read about the company. I read model bios and started feeling like maybe I kind of knew them. I wanted to know a whole lot more. I downloaded wall paper and cleaned up my desktop icons so I could see all of the naked boys. They’re so sweet and sexy. I don’t even want to have sex with them. I want to watch them have sex with each other. Maybe tell them what to do. OMG, I am so in lust.

I keep telling myself that it’s business. It’s research. It’s important for me to be aware of what’s out there. I’m curious about how they make their movies. I appreciate how well done their website is. I’m sure there is a ton of stuff for me to learn. So why am I drooling on my keyboard?

I feel so ridiculous. I’m like a 12 year old girl with a Tiger Beat magazine, fantasizing about the current heartthrobs. Excited over a few muscles? It just isn’t me. Except… in retrospect, I should have seen this coming. I’ve made Joel and Harold sit through countless bad art flicks just because there’s gay male sex. In fact, right now Netflix is sending me La ley del Deseo, featuring a young Antonio Banderas in an explicit gay sex scene. I’ve written erotica with gay male sex. It’s always gotten me hot. I’ve just never thought to check out the porn.

Corbin Fisher, hots boys making loveI’ve just gotten off the phone with Harold, where I begged him to buy me internet porn. I can get a 5-day trial subscription to both of their websites for $35. Ouch! But I want to watch these boys fuck each other so bad, my nipples are hard. It’s pretty embarrassing. He reminded me of the research we’ve both seen that saws that women and men both respond physically to explicit materials at about the same time. Women just don’t expect it.

Well, I’d better go. I think my work load for the next 5 days just got heavier.

Wait… what was Joel doing on that site?