Apr 052011
 
The formidable Miss Maggie Mayhem

The formidable Miss Maggie Mayhem

I want to say that hate has no place in sex, but passion is passion and that can be used in a productive manner. It’s just that hate is so inimical to how I view the world of sexuality. I’m genuinely confused by people who hate anyone who makes their living through sex. I don’t understand how being sex positive poses a threat to anyone, let alone children or families. All of the research I’ve ever seen says that sexual repression is the leading cause of predation. Hookers don’t hurt kids. It’s usually the children’s parents or some other trusted adult.

My friend Miss Maggie Mayhem is an activist for sex workers’ rights, as well as doing a ton of other creative and wonderful things. I have to admit that I didn’t understand her fervor at first, because I have a tendency to candy coat my experience of sex. Of course there are people out there who do horrible things to sex workers and think they can get away with it. It’s terrible and it’s wrong and it fucking illegal. It shouldn’t happen. But I wondered about Maggie adding energy to their actions by bringing them to light. That is before I realized how committed she is to changing the way that people view sex, just like I am.

Miss Maggie Mayhem's fighting stance

Miss Maggie Mayhem's fighting stance

I went through a period of not really wanting to know what crimes were being perpetrated against sex workers. I resented that Maggie was so vocal. Yes, it was wrong, but is it really so bad? Yes, actually. The privacy of people who make their livings through sex is being violated illegally. And no, just because you will have sex on film does not mean that you’ve given up your right to privacy. Nor does it make you a “pornographic whore and Hooker,” as Maggie has been called.

I understand her anger, although I have not been targeted. I appreciate her raising her voice so her rage can be heard. I want to keep my sex clean and separate from the haters. It’s a habit that I picked up in childhood, dissociating through the ugly stuff so I could keep a special place for sex and love that wasn’t tainted by hate and fear. I refused to let them make me like them. Now I find that I really need to get myself integrated so I can better understand where people come from. While I love watching Miss Maggie fight back, I’d rather be the missionary who converts the haters.

I better be ready because when WholeSexLife launches I’m going to look like a good target.