Today is the first anniversary of my public commitment ceremony with Harold, where Joel and Melanie officiated. I’m sentimental and romantic. I like to acknowledge and celebrate everything. I’m not the kind of girl who expects gifts on her anniversary and feels hurt if he doesn’t remember. I just like looking back at the highlights and seeing where the path has led from that place. It’s a way of remembering the good things and measuring my progress.
Today’s anniversary got me thinking about the other important dates in my relationship with Harold. (I have a whole other set of dates I celebrate with Joel!) It amuses me to see how long Harold and I have been circling around each other. Around six years ago, Joel started inserting Harold into the fantasies he wove for me when we made love! Here are our mushy milestones…
October 1, 2005 – First time Harold brought me to orgasm. Harold and I had been flirting heavily and making out every chance we got. On this date, we were at a party at Harold and Melanie’s house and everyone was outside at the bonfire. Harold and I ended up in the kitchen alone together. We started kissing. I was pressed up against the kitchen counter. He pulled up my skirt and started rubbing my clit through my panties. It only took a few minutes for me to come, rather loudly. A friend walk through the kitchen right about that time, which made me laugh. It was fabulous.
April 29, 2006 – First time I did CBT on Harold. We were at a sex party and Harold handed me one of his ball whackers. I blanched when he explained that he wanted me to hit him in the balls. I hadn’t known he was into having his balls hit. We hadn’t ever had that discussion. I told him that I couldn’t do it because I couldn’t hurt someone else, but I didn’t let go of the mallet. Harold slowly talked me through it and let me try a few slow hits. When Joel came to ask for my attention, I growled at him because I was so enthralled by CBT. That mallet is still my favorite CBT tool.
August 19, 2006 – First time Harold went down on me. Harold was talking about wanting to do more erotic photography so I volunteered to model. It was a beautiful warm sunny day and we took pictures in Harold’s back yard. It took me a little bit to warm up, but by the time we were in his treehouse everything was flowing. I was all naked and stretched out on a bench when Harold put down the camera and asked to lick my pussy. I was so surprised because I was in work mode, but honestly it was the start of how we work and make love now.
August 31, 2007 – Beginning of our committed relationship. This was the first time we actually were alone together for several hours in order to make love. We had all of the necessary discussions with our spouses. In fact, Melanie came home early from work to watch the kids when my babysitter fell through. My memory is that it was good, but not fantastic – that was the second time we had sex, when it was so amazing that using protection totally escaped us.
March 27, 2008 – Day our child was conceived. We were staying in the French countryside outside of Switzerland. We spent hours of that trip fucking in our little garret, but this particular time I knew it was right. We had been using condoms, but on this day Harold paused and we looked at each other. We both knew that we would make a baby. We were nervous because I had miscarried a few months before and we didn’t want the pain of that. So in this very long moment, we looked at each other and we told ourselves that we were sure. And we fucked without a condom.
December 17, 2008 – Day our child was born. Her birth did not go as planned. Our home birth stretched past 24 hours of labor and became a hospital birth. It was many hours of nightmare for me, but we were all united together, the four of us as a team. In the wee morning hours our girl was born, changing everything. I had thought that I was giving Harold and Melanie something they wanted, but the truth was more profound and is still revealing itself to me. This is the day that our family was truly born.
August 31, 2009 – Harold and I made commitments to each other privately. We were on a backpacking trip at one of the prettiest places in the world, Goldmyer Hot Springs. While sitting in the hot springs, with the hummingbirds whirring and the river rushing, we pledged our love and our lives to each other. It was powerful and intense and changed our relationship. The seeds of WholeSexLife were also sown on this trip.
May 15, 2010 – Harold and I celebrated our commitment in a public ceremony. With 70 or 80 of our closest friends, we created a magical wedding. We dressed in fey finery and created a grove of sparkling trees in the backyard. It was fun and beautiful and we had Melanie and Joel to help us, as well as all seven of our children. It was important to me that we acknowledge our relationship publicly because I want everything that we would have if we were monogamous. It lets everyone see how normal it is and gives everyone permission to celebrate love. What can be better than that?
See, I get very sentimental about my relationships. I’m amazed at how many of my special dates mark something sexual! Time seems to go by so quickly, but I like to remember. I like to look forward as well, to all of the firsts and life events yet to come. It seems my life is made of joy.