I like to think that from time to time I do the work of a sacred whore: that is, I use a combination of sex, body work and counseling to help someone resolve issues that are troubling them. I’m not a therapist, so this kind of work is very spiritual and intuitive for me, and requires that I have a real connection with the person in question if we’re going to create real change.
I know from my own experience that touch can be amazingly healing, though, especially for the issues that people hold in their bodies. So many people just want to feel love and connection, and they honor me when they open up their emotions to me. I try to offer a safe place for them to practice being themselves in an intimate setting. Energetically, the process feels like clearing snags out of a river and helping everything flow.
Normally, I can’t help my partners in this way because I’m too close – my emotions are engaged and my own stuff comes up. I need to maintain a working relationship. I’m clear on my boundaries, so even though healing may involve sexual energy, it is not a romantic relationship.
Yet somehow, Harold and I manage to do this kind of healing for each other. We’re both called to it. To supplement my conventual therapy, Harold has used sexual energy to help me work through a mess of stuff very quickly over the past 2.5 years. As a practitioner, it’s been interesting being on the other end of sacred sexual healing. I can throw myself into it fairly easily. I have faith in Harold and the methodology. I’ve been able to use my body’s responses as clues to my puzzle. I’ve been able to clear my own blockages and restore flow, often with Harold pointing out problem areas. I do the same for him.
Someday I’d really like to find a way to do this kind of work with couples, especially to help people navigate life transitions, like the birth of a child or menopause — times when old issues tend to arise and things shift. In the stress of such transitions, couples sometimes even decide to separate over matters that manifest as sexual. I think I can help couples get to the true origin of these issues and re-kindle the connection between them.
I’m drawn to guide and heal in this way in part because it makes me so happy when the people I help have happy endings themselves. Right now I am full of joy for someone I worked with for over 3 years: Finally, he’s getting exactly what he wanted.