Jun 252011

Before you commit an act that will change your life and hers forever, I want you to think about a few things. I know that you are young and full of testosterone. In fact, testosterone is causing you to think about sex every 6 seconds, on average. Developmentally, at your age, your brain is not functioning well to assess risk. I know you’re worried about what your buddies think of you. I know that you think that you don’t have anything to lose. You are so wrong.

Sex is your birthright. You know that’s true, you can feel it in your body. And that’s correct. All people deserve to enjoy sex and all of the wonderful things that go with it. Even that girl you are about to force. She deserves to enjoy herself too. Don’t lie to yourself, thinking that she’ll like to be raped. That’s bullshit and you know it. You both deserve to freely feel pleasure in your bodies. You even deserve the deeper emotions that go with sex. You deserve to love and be loved.

Forcing yourself on a girl isn’t going to get you what you want. You think it will make you feel good and powerful. Make you a big man. No fucking way. You’re going to feel guilty. It will make you less of a person, unable to ever think of yourself as good again. You might be able to hide it, but in your heart, you will know that what you did was wrong. You might keep doing it to prove to yourself that you have the might, but somewhere deep inside you will feel that something is missing. Sex will never really be satisfying. Your relationships will all fall apart. Your brief thoughtless act will have set you on a path that ultimately deprives you of what you most want in the whole world – connection to an equal.

And what about the girl? Do you know how it will affect her to have her right to choose stolen from her? She will feel used and dirty. She will feel like the rape was probably her fault. She may keep it secret in shame, or she may report you to the police. You could go to prison and be considered a sex offender. She could tell all of her friends. It will be hard for her for a long time. Trusting people may be difficult for the rest of her life. She may have nightmares or develop an eating disorder. And if you get her pregnant, she will have to deal with the affects of that. You might have to pay child support instead of going to college.

This is a pivotal moment for you. This is your moment to choose your path in life. I promise that you can have everything you want – it just might not be now. Think hard. Look that girl in the eyes and see her as a real person. Make a connection with her. Know that you cannot take something that can only be given. Rape is an empty promise. Rape is not sex. Rape is a violent crime. And you deserve better than a life of emptiness and crime.

The sad part is, she could like you. She might even choose to have sex with you if you ask. Have you tried talking with her?