We’re a far cry from where we started 11 years and 3 children ago. We used to have sex 2 or 3 times a day. And then less often, but with elaborate BDSM fantasy scenes. Now Joel and I tend to have married sex, the kind based on comfort, but I wouldn’t trade it back for the wild sex. I value what we have – the sweetness, the security, the intimacy, and yes, the comfort. I find that I want to be comforted. It’s just that sometimes it’s difficult to have sex at all.
Last night Joel and I went out to dinner alone together. We manage to do this once a week and it helps us to stay in touch with each other. We came home and got the children settled before retiring to the bedroom. Then a round of, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” ensued. Should we watch a movie? Do our own things, but next to each other? Something else?
We dithered for about 15 minutes, before coming to the conclusion that we both might, perhaps, be interested in sex. We briefly discussed what we would do if I got triggered into old abuse stuff. I should disengage and we would talk about it. Then the comfy factor slowed us down some more. I lounged in bed in my t-shirt and panties, yawning. Joel puttered. I invited him to come lie down beside me. A few slats fell out of his side of the bed.
See, our bed is broken, but we don’t want to fix it until we dismantle it to move it upstairs. It’s going to be several weeks before we’re ready to move. So, in the meantime, we have to be very careful on that side of the bed. It’s very exciting to have the bed fall down while you’re fucking. Needless to say, fucking should occur on my side of the bed. But the dog is sleeping across the bottom half. And we discovered a large wet spot in the middle of the bed from the toddler’s milk cup at nap time. I just start laughing because it is so married.
Joel gets a waterproof mat to cover the wet spot. I take off my clothes and close and lock the bedroom door. We lie down beside each other. It feels awkward. Joel put his hand on my cunt and indicated that I should touch his cock. He explored my clit while I rub his penis. He’s already half hard. I wasn’t sure that it was going to work. I rolled over and dug around in my drawer for a vibrator. I couldn’t seem to find one that works. Instead, I decided to let go and be present with what we were doing.
It worked! Everything took off from there. Our mutual masturbation session got us both moaning. Then Joel revealed his secret desire to be dominated by a woman by having her sit on his face. I asked if that was better than 69. Apparently it is hotter than 69! By the time he brought me to orgasm, he was rock hard. We briefly discussed positioning and I ended up on my knees getting fucked from behind. Joel had a very intense orgasm, feeling like he came twice, which is cool.
Then we both lay there, recovering, and talking. It was like Joel’s internal gates opened up and he now was able to just be with me in a relaxed way and tell me all kinds of things from his life. Some I had known, but some I had not. I value this intimacy, this precious time together. It’s another layer of our married relationship.
I love how we are together. We may be comfortable together, but we are not complacent. Neither of us is settling or putting up with less than we want in a relationship. I am comfortable. Even with our married sex.