Jun 122011

Evoë in the sunIf I have a fetish, it’s probably for learning and exploring novel concepts sexually. Thankfully, I haven’t ever run out of exciting new perversions to try. Just when I was afraid that I’d done it all, Harold came up with a few fabulous things to investigate. Several of them are CBT related – a ball parachute for hanging weights (something I saw in a magazine when I was 18!), a ball wrap with a chain to attach to any tie point, muscle rub to make his balls burn, and a lightweight ball tapper to desensitize Harold’s balls so I can hit them longer and harder. He also shared a masturbation sleeve with me which I found very strange. I have not yet gotten a chance to check out every one of these things, but I do have a new favorite thing. Prostate milking.

Balls tied in leather and chainedHarold and I really needed to connect with each other a few days ago. Things have been stressful lately. It was one of those times where we look at everything that we ought to be doing and decide to take two hours to just be alone together. Because of who we are and what’s been going on and how we use sex to form emotional bonds, we decided to do a CBT scene.

I used the ball wrap that Harold made to tie his balls. I attached the chain to some rope, ran it down to the floor, through an eyebolt, and over to another tie point. I made it tight enough that Harold had to bend his knees and any straightening would pull his balls further. That kind of thing makes me happy. I put on vibrating nipple clamps. Then I smeared his scrotum with muscle rub. I’ve wanted to do that for soooo long. It evidently burns. A lot. That also makes me happy. Maybe I’m a sadist after all.

At this point Harold was in a very receptive state. We started to find that place where we get under each other’s skins. We were both very turned on. He opened up and offered himself to me. I wanted to take him. What we don’t talk about but lingers under the surface is that he wants to prove that he is not like the men in my life who have hurt me. Underneath, I am hurt and angry and I want to be in control. I want to strike out. Of course, I would never do CBT from a place of anger and Harold has nothing to prove. I still felt the undercurrents in this scene.

Evoë masturbatingI started using the lightweight ball tapper on Harold’s burning balls – just very light taps, over and over. It made a surprisingly big impact. He was writhing, which pulled on his balls more. I made him ask me to hit him harder. It pleases us both when he has to plead or make a deal in order for me to increase the intensity. I think it adds to the nobility of his sacrifice that he will knowingly and willingly take pain for and from me. I get so wet at those moments. I want to drive him harder and further, turn him on more. I want him to want the things that he’d never otherwise want, and I want him to do it for me. We do this because we love each other.

I hit his balls harder and harder, watching his face, meeting his eyes, holding him firmly in my love. There is a point in here where I just feel him surrender. He is just totally mine in that moment. He opens up and gives himself over to me. Nothing changes on the outside, but I feel it. It really turns me on. I very nearly orgasmed. Then I decided that coming was a fabulous idea.

I lay down on the bed facing Harold and spread my legs. He was securely bound, hands and balls, and couldn’t move while I got myself off with a vibrator. He’s said since that it was a beautiful sight. He doesn’t normally observe from a distance. I loved giving in to my desires while he watched helplessly.

Balls tied to the floorMuch relieved by my orgasm, I freed Harold and had him lie down on the bed. I wanted to take his come. The stretch of his scrotum being tied had made it difficult for him to be very erect. I didn’t care. I didn’t want to fuck him with the muscle rub all over his balls. I just wanted his jizm. So I stuck my fingers in his asshole and rubbed his prostate. It’s actually a lot like having sex with a girl – same motions exactly. I used my other hand to squeeze Harold’s cock and come oozed out. It’s very satisfying. It feels subversive. I can take a boy’s come without giving him an orgasm. It’s fucking awesome. It’s my new favorite thing. And Harold’s still incredibly horny afterward, but without the ability to orgasm for a while. I enjoy the thought of him wanting me for days. I like taking him like that.

Prostate milking really is my new favorite thing! At least until I try out something else.