Aug 232011

Pay attention!Visiting the ocean was lovely. I feel more relaxed than I have in months. I so needed to get away for a few days! We spent hours walking along the shore, picking up pretty rocks and feathers. I opened up and started talking in a way that I haven’t been able to manage. We prepared and ate good food. We drank whiskey and red wine (although not together). We listened to Adele and Lady Gaga. I got to dress up in lingerie and Harold took pictures. And we had lots of sex. I lost track of the orgasms after I’d come about five times before lunch. We did the thing that I love so much, where the sex is sort of ongoing and blends with eating and walking and talking and everything we do.

One of the things that I really wanted to do was some anal play, after all, it is National Anal Sex Month. I love fucking Harold in the ass because I feel so close to him. I like filling him, taking him, being one with him. I adore using my two-way because not only am I penetrating Harold like I would with a real cock, but all of the sensation translates to me via my clit and g-spot. I actually orgasm this way, no harness needed. It’s a brilliant design.

Pay attention!Be reassured, we did have amazing anal sex, but it wasn’t seamless. Sometimes sex has little hitches because we are dealing with the human body. We learned something this weekend, but it came at a price. It gets graphic after this, so if you are squeamish, stop reading.

I think you’ll see where this is going pretty quickly… So, Harold really loves blueberries. He can eat a lot at a time. Leaving town for the ocean, we bought 3 pounds of blueberries. He ate maybe a pound of them in the car and once we were at the cabin. The next morning he gave himself an enema to prepare for any activities we might get up to. It was just a warm water enema. He mentioned that it was difficult to wash out all of the blueberry bits. He kept adding more water and eliminating to try to get everything.

Pay attention!Fast forward about two hours. Things were getting hot and heavy. I had my two-way in. I was sitting in a wooden chair with arms. Harold rubbed lube all over my cock. He turned around and lowered himself onto me. I guided my cock into his asshole. All of a sudden he froze and went rigid. He spasms sometimes with penetration so I thought that was the problem at first. Then he pulled off my cock. And that’s when it happened. A stream of watery blue-green shit poured into the valley my legs made when pressed together.

Now, I have five children, and it takes more than a little poop to scare me off, but being shit on is still a bit of a turn off. Harold immediately wiped me off with paper towels and went to the bathroom. Then we tried again. Strangely enough, the poop wasn’t a problem. It didn’t ruin the mood, it just gave us a bit of a pause because it was so unexpected. I’ve never gotten a lap full of shit in a sexual context before.

Our second try was highly successful. It felt fantastic. Our energy was fully engaged in the experience. Harold bouncing up and down on my cock felt fabulous. I could reach around to rub Harold’s cock. I was consumed by the sensations, reveling under Harold’s weight and my world shrunk to the moment. I came. I felt very close to Harold.

Pay attention!In the end, the poop didn’t matter. We still had great anal sex. I didn’t enjoy having shit all over my legs, but I didn’t let it get to me either. The funny thing is that if our roles had been reversed, and I had dumped a load on Harold, I would have been mortified. I would have been so embarrassed. But as it was, I understood and it didn’t concern me overly. Things happen. We cleaned everything up really well. We took showers. Thankfully, we weren’t in bed or on the sofa or over carpet or anything. It ended well.

But there is definitely a moral to this story: if your partner eats a ton of blueberries before engaging in anal sex, be braced for the consequences!

  • FreakyV

    I’m glad I ran across your blog as I love how honest and refreshing it is. Plus I about fell off my chair laughing at the shit stream!