I’m developing a new relationship with my body. I’ve always liked my body and done my best to live fully in my body. Now I’m going a bit further. I’m learning to really care for my body. I’m feeling what it’s like to have my body be responsive to my physical needs. I learning to run!
I know, I know, everyone can run, but I’ve had serious blocks against running for most of my life. I had untreated asthma as a kid and running always made me feel like I was choking. Then I got breasts and running became excruciatingly painful. I also had pain in my knees until I got good running shoes. I’ve just thought that I hated to run. I’ve often said that I wouldn’t run to catch a bus.
But I hate having artificial limits. I refuse to let anyone tell me that I can’t do something, including myself. So, I asked Harold to teach me how to run. Today was my first day. We took it slow, walking, then running short distances, and going back to walking when I couldn’t breathe. I would get all dizzy – totally like breath play. Harold says that after 3-8 weeks of doing this, I will build up to a place where I can experience a runner’s high. This sounds very kinky to me. I’m going to put myself through weeks, or months, of tribulations before I get the pay-off. I’m completely into it.
I don’t like getting sweaty and red in the face unless I’m fucking, so I am now going to consider running part of my sex life. Getting in shape is part of my love affair with myself. My weight loss has been stuck around 25-30 pounds lost. Time to ramp things up a bit. I am in charge here. This body is mine. Already, I am in such better shape. It’s easier to do the things I want to do. I have more wind. I’m doing it. I’m owning my body.