Kink is a funny thing. It’s hard to say why we get turned on by the things we do. But it is fun to try them out! Along these lines, I have been eager to test out a penis pump for about a year. Finally, California Exotics was nice enough to provide me with one of theirs, the Stamina Pump, and much fun and mayhem ensued.
I did do some research about penis pumps and learned that they do work for men with erectile dysfunction. Just pump up and slip on a cock ring – instant erection. In fact, pumps can work where Viagra does not. For many men, penis pumps are a great resource that lets them fuck when nothing else would. I think that’s awesome. Other men pump in order to increase their penis size. Everything I read leads me to believe that a pump cannot actually increase penis length, but by all means, pump away and prove me wrong. Finally, some men use a pump to help them masturbate. In all cases, it is not recommended to use the pump for periods of time longer than 20-30 minutes. Go gently and listen to your body so you don’t damage yourself.
The Stamina Pump came with a long list of cautions, such as my favorite, #5, “Misuse of a pump may aggravate an existing medical condition such as Peyronie’s disease, priapism, and urethral strictures.” All of these are different kinds of erectile disfunction. People with Peyronie’s disease experience an abnormal bend in the penis during an erection. I can see where this would be a problem. Priapism involves a painful, long-lasting erection – like more than 4 hours, without any sexual stimulation. Again, makes sense to avoid a penis pump. But Urethral strictures are simply a narrowing of the urethra. That one makes me nervous. Do erections normally narrow the urethra? Are people with urethral strictures prohibited from getting hard?
The rest of the warnings are pretty standard: consult a physician, stop if it hurts, use the minimum amout of vacuum pressure, the pump may cause bruising or hemorrhage of the penis or scrotum, and misuse could cause swelling or permanent damage of the penis. Are you scared yet?
Warnings aside, there is something about penis pumps that is inherently funny. I mean, the packaging on the Stamina Pump says things like, “Rise to new heights” and “Reach your full potential.” Someone had fun with that copy.
Penis pumps also appeal to my scientific side. For example, the Stamina Pump has “universal measurements,” designed, no doubt, for scientific study, right? Well, I wanted to do my own small fact-finding study, so I recruited two subjects. Ok, so really Joel, Harold, and I ate Thai food and got naked together. I always feel super lucky to have sexy time with both of my partners at the same time! We have fun.
Joel got to go first. I rubbed water-based lube onto his cock and greased up the rubber opening of the pump. Lube is supposed to feel better and make it easier to remove the pump when the penis is erect. I slid the pump over his limp cock and seated the base firmly against the base. After making sure that he was ready, I squeezed the bulb gently and released. His cock twitched a bit. Cool! I did it again. And again. Until his cock was hard and standing tall.
My inner geek went wild. We had created vacuum suction to make Joel’s cock hard. Could we make it any larger? I had my choice of inches or centimeters. I watched the measurements carefully while I pumped. Yes, it did get bigger! By about 1 cm.
Then we wanted to get him out of the pump so we could do something about that erection. There’s a button on the bulb that release the vacuum seal on the pump. It provides immediate relief, but it doesn’t totally negate the suction. Some people would apply a cock ring to the penis at this point to maintain the erection, but we didn’t. Despite an eagerness to get my hands on his cock, we had a bit of trouble freeing him. His penis is on the larger side and very girthy. The lube dried up during the pumping and he got kind of stuck in the rubber opening, but we did manage to release him.
Harold’s experience was very similar, but we used silicone lube instead, so there wasn’t any issues getting out. Although Harold’s penis is smaller than Joel’s, he also increased about 1 cm by continuing to pump after he got hard. Then Harold wanted to try something he’d seen in a porn video – removing the rubber opening and vacuum sucking his penis and scrotum into the pump. It worked, but I don’t think it really did much to excite him.
As special compensation for aiding my with my experiment, both subjects were treated to hand and/or blow jobs. I had to verify that each hard-on was authentic and functional, right? Check, both cocks functioned at or above specification.
We had a great time experimenting with the Stamina Pump. It did everything I wanted it to do. I even tried it on my nipple. I haven’t used anything like a penis pump before, so I don’t have anything to compare it to. Still, I think that the Stamina Pump is probably a decent product.
Bottom line: For erectile problems or just fooling around, a penis pump might be worth your time and money.