Oct 012011

Tenga EggsWhen I strap on a dildo I want to stick my cock in every little hole I see. I wonder if people with biological cocks feel that way all of the time. I’ve always been curious about masturbation sleeves, but I often find the appearance of such devices off-putting. Would I really want to fuck something that looks like a flashlight with a plastic vulva at the end? I’m dubious. This is why I asked Babeland to send me some Tenga Eggs.

Tenga “Easy Beat” Eggs don’t even try to look like body parts. They are cute little eggs made out of stretchy thermo-plastic elastomer with different textures inside each of the 6 designs. I love that they are eggs. Tenga eggs would be fantastic in your lover’s Easter basket. What better way to celebrate the second coming? Eggs are all about fertility and promise.

I tried out 3 of the textures with both of my guys: Spider, Clicker, and Silky. We all already swap body fluids, or I would not have shared these between them. For safer sex practices, these toys should only be used by one person because the material is slightly porous and can not be sterilized. Our experience with the different textures is that they all feel very similar. Spider is a kind of grid pattern, Clicker has some protruding knobs and flowers, and Silky was probably our favorite with a bunch of overlapping wavy lines that reminded me of cooked rice noodles.

Tenga Eggs: SilkyTenga Eggs: SpiderTenga Eggs: Clicker

I really liked the packaging on the Tenga Eggs. It’s classy. It doesn’t scream sex toy. It’s just awesome. The instructions on the back of the label and on the included packet of lube are written in Japanese and include simple illustrations. It’s easy to understand. In a way, Tenga eggs remind me of the toys my boys in grade school are fond of – collectible sets that do different things and come from Japan. I guess toys for big boys aren’t that different!

Tenga Egg in useAfter I got the eggs out of their shells, I was excited to try them out. I wanted to see a masturbatory sleeve in action. Both Joel and Harold have had limited experience with any kind of masturbation aid, so it was new for them too. We now know that Tenga Eggs work a whole lot better if you use them on a penis that is already erect. We did not use the lubricant that came with the eggs because I am so sensitive to lube. I squeezed a few drops of my favorite water-based lube, Sliquid’s Sassy Booty, into the egg and around the opening and squished it around. I tried to warm it up a bit, but I think it was still cold.

When we were ready to put the egg on the cock, I pulled it open and popped it just over the head of the penis. I tried to keep some room at the top, like I would a condom. I then proceeded with what I would consider a normal hand job. The egg looked incredibly cool as it stretched and thinned around the cock. I think these Tenga Eggs are amazing. The thermo-plastic elastomer moves nicely, yet clings around a penis.

Harold and Joel seemed to like the sensation, but they weren’t totally sold. Harold says that my hand jobs are better than the eggs, but he is a flatterer like that. Joel liked the feeling, but said that he would prefer to beat off without aids. He prefers skin-on-skin and less clean up. (The clean up isn’t complicated. Just soap and water and air dry.) Our overwhelming consensus is that the Tenga Eggs will join our tool box and be used as part of sensation play in our love making.

Tenga lube packetOne of the other uses for Tenga Eggs that I had heard about was turning them inside out and putting them over the head of a Hitachi Magic Wand or similar vibrator to add texture. It’s an exciting idea. The eggs do fit just perfectly. And the eggs do provide an interesting texture. It just didn’t do anything to excite me. In fact, the eggs, with some lube, just felt kind of clammy. I could get off, but I just wasn’t groovin’ on it. I think I like pressure more than texture with a Magic Wand.

Overall, I think the Tenga Eggs rock. At $8.50 a piece or $43 a half dozen, it’s totally worth playing with these eggs. They won’t last forever, but you’ll have a lot of fun. They’d make fantastic party favors or stocking stuffers. Hmmm, maybe I’ll give them out at my next orgy…

Bottom line: What are you waiting for? Try one out!

Grade: A-

  • Theliberator12

    Oh! Yeah, you’re right, not a sexy or playful design. It doesn’t even look like a Tenga Eggs
    , especially not now that Tenga Eggs are tiny little LED things. Best excuse I can imagine is that it was designed with form following function, then the designer noticed it looked sort of Tenga Eggs shaped, and decided to play up the resemblance.
    Thanks for post.

    Tenga Eggs

  • Fuckyou

    rich douchebags dancing on a cliff. Kill yourselves. That money could have fed people.