I’ve gone over a week without posting, which hasn’t happened for a long time. It’s a combination of factors, like having a bad cold, working on other projects, and generally feeling bad about myself. But there have been some sexy moments…
For the first time, I got to photograph a couple making love. It was an incredible experience. I went into the photo shoot without expectations, but certainly hoping that they would feel comfortable enough to be intimate together. I feel very honored that they trusted me enough that they could follow their desire where it led. I tried to create a safe space and I’m pleased that it worked. It’s actually very hard work to take photos over an hours-long shoot. I kept thinking that it’s so much easier for me to be in front of the lens having sex! I’m still struggling to figure out the technical aspects of photography so I was disappointed in the overall quality of the results, but there are some shots that I really love. An erotic photo shoot is quite a creative rush. My models were amazing! If they decide they are comfortable with publishing any of these pics, I will certainly share. I’m hoping to practice more photography in the near future, so if you are in the Seattle area and want to model, drop me a line.
I spent an evening cuddling in bed with Joel and giggling about a few R&B/Blues songs by the light of the Yule tree. I adore nasty blues and these are great. The first one was Denise LaSalle singing “Lick it before you stick it,” with great lyrics like, “You’re makin’ her feel good, but you can make her feel better/ If you treat your lady like a stamp and a letter/Lick it/Before you stick it” and advises men to “find the little man in the boat.” Then there’s “Strokin’,” by Clarence Carter with these lyrics, “I remember one time I made love/On the back seat of a car/An’ the police came an’ shined/His light on me, an’ I said/I’m strokin’/That’s what I’m doin’/I be strokin’.” And finally, Barbara Carr with, “If you really want to please me/You know you’ve got to stake your claim/And make hot love to me boy/’til I want to wear your name” from a song with the best title ever, “Bone me like you own me.” I so enjoy that these songs are strongly about owning your sexuality and prioritizing pleasure.
I’ve been masturbating a fair amount – sometimes testing out products that I’ll be reviewing this month, sometimes just to spend quality time with myself. I end up touching myself when I’m in the shower or alone in bed. It helps me to feel focused and grounded. I love drawing out the orgasms and playing with sensations. I also think that it’s easier right now to be with myself than to be with other people. I’m just more inwardly focused.
Which isn’t to say that I haven’t had sex with other people. Harold and I had some heavy foreplay going on one evening, but the wee one’s stamina was greater than ours. We all snuggled in to sleep instead of fucking. It was nice to be cozy, but I still fell asleep wanting more and feeling lonely. Thankfully, Harold and I had a date the next day.
Our date sex was fairly simple. We had sexted about all of the kinky things we wanted to do to each other, but when it came down to it, our love making was about intimate touch and making out. There was some power exchange. I kept him pinned while I caressed him with my nipples and kissed him all over. It’s totally hot to use my whole body to bring pleasure. The really amazing thing is that I’m currently menstruating so we got blood everywhere. I know that some people are squeamish about menstrual blood, but I love it. We got blood all over my thighs and Harold’s cock, balls, and hands. Beautiful!
Like most people, right now I’m struggling to balance home, work, family, and self-care with the holidays tossed in for extra fun. It’s actually going fine, but I want to make sure that sex stays on the list. In reality, sex is so much a part of who I am that I’m not really worried. More important than sex, is love. I am lucky to have so much love in my life. I think that’s my lesson for the holidays – letting the light of love fill me up. Even the places where I don’t love myself.