I long to take him in. My mouth waters and my throat expands at the thought of his cock. I literally hunger for him. It’s as though I could consume his essence in bits and pieces – the memory of his hands as they craft metal or the image of him as a child, hiding in the tall grass like a drop of ambrosia on my tongue. I take his cock into my mouth to know him more deeply. I open wider to let him in. Oral sex is about acceptance.
I think about these things when fellating, full of love and desire for my partner. I also think of nothing, in a pure Zen way. Not only am I accepting him, I am also accepting the moment. I’m letting go of anxiety and fear, not only because I honor and respect my partner, but because I give myself the gift of pleasure. I like to eat, to taste, to savor – and this applies to my lover as well.
It’s much the same when he goes down on me. I pour myself into him. His tongue and fingers turn me liquid and I pour down his throat. I feel his tongue coaxing me to release, let go, flow. I let him eat me. I give him everything.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all flowery words and soft music. We are fucking. Our oral sex is hot and messy. We get involved in anal play, CBT, and fisting while our tongues and mouths are busy. We get covered in spit and sweat. We grunt and scream and sometimes cry. This is intense play.
I used to refuse to do 69 – you know, both of us doing oral sex at the same time. It was too overwhelming. I wanted to focus on one thing at a time, either trying to orgasm or trying to give an orgasm. Then I decided to forget about the orgasms and just let go. Now 69 is probably my most favorite part of sex. Being overwhelmed is the point. Flooding the pleasure centers is the point.
I take him into my mouth and I know him. His tongue swirls around my clit and darts into my cunt and I give myself to him. 69 is about trust and surrender. It’s the classic yin/yang – some of each is in the other, always in motion, ever in balance. I think the intensity of sharing like this sears like fire if you aren’t willing to open yourself to the flow of energy created, but that same fire can heat things up!
I rarely orgasm during 69, but I come very easily after spending some time engrossed in oral play. It feels amazingly fantastic. I find it freeing to be more focused on sensation and sharing and less focused on the outcome.
If you haven’t experienced 69, or it’s been a while, maybe it’s time to give it a try!