Photography lights were crowding the bathroom, focused on the bathtub where water was running. Harold was already naked. I was asking our photographer, the talented David Steinberg about his boundaries: Was there anything he was uncomfortable with us doing? (I had already checked with Harold and he was fine with anything but scat and age play.) David just didn’t want us to drag him into the tub with his photography gear. Awesome! That left a lot of things open.
For some reason I was more nervous about this photo shoot than I normally would be. Usually Harold and I are just messing around with the camera, but sometimes we’ve done more serious shoots. It wasn’t David. He’s very sweet and wise, always professional, easygoing. I love working with David and I consider him a friend. I trust him.
I think that I was more nervous this time around because of my current emotional state. Sex is not always easy right now. If it were just Harold and I having a date, I wouldn’t be anxious because if I freaked out or just couldn’t manage to be in my sexy place, he would hold me, or we would go for a walk, or something. There’s more pressure to perform when someone is there with a camera, even if the intention is for us to do what we would normally do, ignoring David and his camera as much as possible.
I’m actually pretty good at that – creating a bubble around Harold and myself and filtering out everything else. It helps that our intense sexual energy tends to occupy my mind. Sure, at one point I wondered if I was taking too long to come and would Harold and David get bored? It was a quick thought, easily overcome. I had another moment when Harold left the room for a few minutes and I was in the bathtub alone with David taking pictures. I felt uneasy briefly, and then got myself off to keep the energy going.
I did encounter a time when I felt uncomfortable and a little freaked out. Harold had been topping me a bit and flogging me. I loved the sensation of the flogging, but something just wasn’t right. We stopped and he held me – me lying on top of him in a position that I find soothing. We murmured at each other while David fussed with his lights. It afforded us a kind of privacy to work things out. I know that David would have left the room for us or that I could have stopped right there if I wanted. That made it possible for me to stay in the moment. Instead, I shifted our play toward something that I particularly love, squirting.
After we were all done, David mentioned that our lovemaking style was that of sustaining low-level intensity in order to build to a super intense finish. I think it must be fascinating to get to observe so many different people making love intimately. What an amazing job!
While it was a lot of fun to do, now I’m feeling fragile. Harold and I did many of the things that are usual for our sex life, but we did them MORE. A good scene can be exhausting. Also, I have the sense that I put myself out there rather more than I am used to at the moment. Time for some aftercare and self indulgence.
I won’t know for a while how the photos came out. David shoots film rather than digital. It’s all a grand experiment that I’m thrilled to be a part of. It’s exciting waiting for the outcome – kinda like waiting for Santa.