Oct 312012
 

He had always fantasized about what it might be like to be pursued by a dangerous woman. He was thrilled when he finally met a woman who treated him like prey, but it felt a little too real. Why did such a beautiful woman make him feel so scared, as well as turned on? Should he be seduced or run away?

The vampire eyes him hungrily

 She let him make the first move, but her hunger quickly took over. They tussled a bit, rolling around. She liked the undercurrents of lust and fear. She was careless and bloodied him in the struggle. His shock and horror as he realized her true nature amused her, but she was done playing with her food. She kissed him.

He struggles, yet wants her

 Her kiss filled him with warmth and happy feelings. He knew distant panic, but it wasn’t important in his Goddess’s arms. She bent down to drink from his pure strong fountain.

Having subdued him, she goes for the neck

 She cradled him in her arms, feeling his life surge through her body, ecstatic with the taste of his blood. He was so good, she couldn’t resist taking more. And then more.

She glories in the rush of his blood

She felt fierce, possessive, powerful. She clutched him to her breast, savoring his waning warmth and wanting to soothe him as he slipped from this world into the next.

she has a possessive moment

 Men are so quickly spent, she thought, as she laid him to rest.

It is done

 

 (See more competition entries here!)

Sinful Sunday

Oct 282012
 

You know how when you love someone, you gush about every little detail of their body? You notice the way that body hair grows just so, or the way a scar looks like a rabbit, or how a certain curve makes you feel like grabbing hold of them and fucking their brains out. This photo of my girlfriend, Blyss, is like that for me. The more I study it, the more I feel full of love and lust. The apple is just another temptation…

Take a bite

Sinful Sunday

Oct 212012
 

I like being naked outdoors and many of my erotic photos reflect the joy that I feel in the wild. I feel so free among the trees and in the rivers. I am open and vulnerable in my skin, yet strong, firmly rooted in nature. It turns me on so much!

This image is a particular favorite of mine – reveling in the last of the Fall sunlight, stretching my body, and finding a new perspective…

 

New perspective

 

Sinful Sunday

Oct 192012
 

The world of erotica can be a lot of fun. I like stories that stir my imagination and give me sexy ideas. My friend, C. P. Foster, wrote the short short erotic story below, that not only gets me thinking about what I might do, but reminds me of a few dates I had in the back row of that theater! If you’d like to read more of her work you can find her here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Night at the Movies
by C. P. Foster

Veronica loved the Mercury Theater with its ornate décor and threadbare velvet seats. Old places like this had a romance and sensuality that modern theaters lacked. They also played more interesting films. At midnight on Friday, the Mercury showed NC-17 movies. Veronica liked to sneak past the “This Section Closed” sign when no one was watching and take a seat in the balcony. The rest of the audience had no idea she was there. Alone in the dark, she could slide her hand under her skirt and thoroughly enjoy the show.

Tonight they were playing Henry and June. Veronica loitered next to the stairs until the coast was clear, then scurried up to take her usual place. But it seemed someone else had had the same idea. A man sat in the middle of the first row, holding bag of popcorn and a bottle of soda. He looked up when she came in.

“Um…” he said.

“Sh!” She glanced out at the main auditorium to make sure no one had heard, then whispered, “I won’t tell if you don’t.”

He broke into a grin, and gestured for her to join him. She hesitated, thinking if she sat a few rows away she might be able to indulge herself in spite of his presence. But he was kind of cute, with his spiky hair and thick horn rimmed glasses. Veronica grinned back and took a seat beside his. When he offered her some popcorn, she helped herself to a handful, and they crunched together in comfortable silence as the movie began.

1930s Paris filled the screen in exquisitely composed images, like Brassai photographs come to life. Veronica shifted her weight as one sex scene after another unfolded. When the last of the popcorn was gone, she lingered over licking her fingers and tried not to squirm. Her companion kept the empty bag on his lap. Out of the corner of her eye she saw his breathing change, and his lips parted as Anaïs Nin wandered through crowds of naked women.

Veronica picked up the bag and set it on the floor.

His erection made a huge bulge at the front of his pants. The man flushed bright red and kept staring at the movie screen until Veronica inched her skirt up to bare her thigh. He turned to watch as she slouched, scooting forward on the seat so she could open her legs and ease her hand under the fabric. With a hiss of pleasure, she stroked her fingertips across her clit.

“Go ahead,” she whispered.

He swallowed. Hesitantly, he cupped his palm over his groin and massaged his stiff cock. The seat squeaked when Veronica began to rock her hips. Biting her lip, she forced herself to be still. Her back arched as she reached lower to wet her fingers. The skirt kept getting in the way, so she pulled it higher, then moved her gleaming fingers back up to her clit.

Her companion moaned and stared as she played with herself. He fumbled to unfasten his pants, and Veronica watched him take out his cock. It strained up, hard and thick, and he wrapped his hand around it and began to stroke. They both turned back to the screen where Anaïs and June were in bed making love. The musical score drowned out the quiet sounds they made as they each pleasured themselves. With her free hand, Veronica squeezed her breast and pinched the hard nipple. Her muscles tensed as she grew close. She stayed on the edge as long as she could, holding back…making it last…until finally the orgasm burst over her. She barely managed to stifle her cry. The man clutched the arm of his seat and pumped faster. Clenching his teeth, he went rigid from head to toe, and came.

Both of them slumped, breathing hard. Veronica glanced over and giggled to see him grimace at the sticky mess he’d made. From her skirt pocket she pulled out some tissue and a couple of wet wipes, and held out one of each. He gave her a sheepish look as he accepted the offer. They cleaned themselves up and rearranged their clothes.

When the credits rolled, Veronica leaned in and murmured, “Next week they’re playing The Lover. Want to come?”

He grinned. “See you then.”

Oct 152012
 

Evoë campingI’m not really here. My heart and mind are still at Goldmyer Hot Springs where Harold and I stayed a couple of nights ago. Our joy there was so intense that we didn’t sleep, lest we miss a moment of pleasure. We’ve needed this chance to escape the daily grind. We’ve needed time to be alone together and we were determined to cherish every minute!

We backpacked in, talking about anything and everything, ranging from work to family to sex – basically the things that most people talk about. I love backpacking because you carry everything with you and no more than you absolutely need. I packed the sex supplies first: a bullet vibe, 4 non-latex gloves, 1 packet of lube, and a length of stretchy fabric to tie around Harold’s balls for CBT play. I figured that it covered the basics and presented many interesting options.

We arrived in the early afternoon, quickly set up camp and ate lunch. We had an amazing campsite right next to the river. The white noise is very soothing, even if I start to hear music in it. Harold and I work beautifully together, often lending a hand to each other while still completing our own tasks. We’re both very competent and it’s a pleasure to operate so seamlessly. And camp food tastes so intensely wonderful. Our lunch was Thai noodle soup, garlic mashed potatoes, super orange Emergen-c, a bit of red wine, fig loaf, and the most exquisite salt and pepper Mexican chocolate. Absolutely perfect!

backing out of the tentWe talk about what our intentions were for this overnight trip, wanting to make sure we were on the same page so we could get the most out of our time. Our priorities were: 1) to feel close to each other, 2) to have really hot sex, and 3) to work through any emotional issues that happened to come up. The first and second things were really the most important.

Finally we made our way up to the hot springs, stopping to talk to the caretakers on our way. I don’t actually have a lot of opportunity to socialize, so I may be a bit rusty at it, but I love getting to know people! Goldmyer is clothing optional at the hot springs. I’m mostly inured to nudity at this point, both my own and other people’s, but I still have that moment of checking other people out. I’m sure they look me over too. In that setting, I don’t care. And Harold and I were way too into each other to really pay much attention to making a good presentation.

Goldmyer is amazing. I’ve posted about it before. It may be my favorite place on the planet. It has certainly been a special place for Harold and me together – many of our big moments have occurred in those deliciously warm pools, surrounded by nature. There’s usually other people around, but they generally respect your privacy if you seem to want it. It’s just a sacred place. People tend to get that.

Harold and I talked some more while we waited for people to clear off and then we got the little waterproof vibrator out. It felt nice on my clit, but I wasn’t getting anywhere really. We stopped. Harold suggested that perhaps we were having troubles with the first of our objectives, to feel close to each other. He was right. Everything was fine between us, except that I was holding back on a deep level. When I looked at it, I realized that I was still upset about an argument we’d had 6 weeks ago. Something about that fight had left me feeling like I couldn’t trust him and it had never gotten repaired.

Evoë and Harold at GoldmyerIt’s amazing how one little thing can totally compromise my ability to orgasm. There I was, in the most beautiful place on the planet, alone with a man I adore, and unresolved feelings from an old fight were getting in my way. I’d thought that I was over that disagreement. Because what I most wanted was to feel close to Harold, it meant that I was going to have to spend some time going over objective 3) working through any emotional issues that happened to come up, even though I really didn’t want to.

We talked over things for a long time. It turns out that it was not only my stuff – Harold had issues to process through as well! Other people came up to the hot springs, but for a while we just wrapped ourselves up in each other, whispering frantically. We cleared out everything that had been building up between us, our connection coming out clear and strong. I began to feel a lot of desire.

We started thinking about heading back to our tent. Dusk was beginning to fall. Our fingers and toes were wrinkled and white. But a funny thing happened as we started to become more aware of our surroundings – we started conversing with the people around us. I am so busy all of the time that I forget what it’s like to have a normal conversation with people. If you can consider sitting around naked, talking about erotic foreign movies normal. I do.

Floating in the hot springsBy the time we made it back to our tent, made food, and crawled into the tent, it was nearly midnight. We had spent about 10 hours straight in the water! After crawling into our sleeping bags and eating, we began to make love. No, we had actually been making love all day. But we began to be carnally involved.

Half sweaty, half cold, we explored each other’s flesh under the sleeping bags. We had the body knowledge and comfort level of long time partners, with the enthusiasm and raw lust of of new lovers. With all the time we needed, we took it slow and sensuous. We were animals stalking each other’s pleasure, using our favorite sex acts to burn through the artificial boundaries that separate people. We made love until light began to filter in through the tent.

In all that time, we didn’t come. No orgasms, just hours of pleasure. You don’t get somewhere and stop, if you don’t come. You just reach and intertwine and want and gasp and want and love and have a happiness that is infinite but just keeps expanding and reaching – like the expanding universe. So at dawn, we lay in each other’s arms and had lucid dreams that we described aloud, feeling perfectly open and at one.

After a while, nature called, so we went to the outhouse and back up to the hot springs with our coffee. It feels miraculous to watch the morning unfold after such a night. I let the water soothe any aches in my body, listening to the river, watching the birds come out, feeling full of love. It was lovely to enjoy the stillness and experience the clarity of being fully in my body. I felt amazingly empowered, a feeling that has lasted for several days.

Reading in campAfter a couple of hours we went back to camp for some breakfast. I didn’t feel at all tired, despite a lack of sleep. I read a little Leaves of Grass by the river. We went back into the tent and made love some more – more straight fucking this time. Then we packed up our camp with the same efficiency and hiked home.

This trip to Goldmyer highlights for me a couple of things. First, it’s so important to work through the things that inevitably come up in a relationship. There is a tendency to shove those feelings into the background because life is busy, but if you let the pain and anger accumulate, lack of trust will taint your sex life. Second, sex is a sacred act. It doesn’t matter how you do it or what your religious beliefs are. Sex is a gateway to the spiritual realm, if you but open yourself up to the universe. Cherish every minute.
Oct 142012
 

Aftercare doesn’t always get the attention it deserves. This week’s Sinful Sunday image is of me after a fairly intense power exchange/bondage/spanking/CBT/anal play scene, followed by fucking. When we were done basking in the glow, I went outside to get some fresh air and eat an apple. Harold snapped this candid shot of me getting the aftercare I needed. I like it because It’s just me. I’m not trying to look glamorous or be anything else. Strangely enough, it turns out that being me looks pretty sexy!

 

relaxing after a scene

 

To see what other people are doing for Sinful Sunday this week, click below!
Sinful Sunday

Oct 102012
 

Evoë ThorneI think the worst feeling I have ever experienced is knowing that I’m alone in the world and beyond hope. Even when I’ve had people in my life who cared about me, there have been times when I’ve felt trapped in my own mind, unable to form connections or accept love. At times like that, it seems like the more I want someone, the more likely I am to push them away. It’s impossible for me to believe that anyone could want me.

Today is World Mental Health Day. More than 350 million people across the globe are affected by depression and less than 10% get treatment, despite the existence of effective treatment options. An additional 100 million people world-wide suffer from other mental health disorders. Without mental health, there is no health. And mental health is imperative for a healthy sex life.

My experience

I’ve struggled with Bipolar Disorder since my early teens. Suicide attempts and wild behavior colored my formative years. I wasn’t diagnosed until things reached critical mass when I was 21. At that time I was also experiencing intense Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, unable to eat without throwing up or sleep without terrible nightmares.

More recently, after the birth of my last child, I found myself drowning in Post-Partum Depression.

I don’t let these things define who I am or limit how I live my life, but they’ve presented huge obstacles to overcome. In particular, each of these conditions has affected my ability to have the kind of sex I want.

Bipolar

I actually prefer the term Manic Depression because it’s much more clear. People with Bipolar experience mood shifts between wild euphoria and bottomless depression. Mania has often kind of scared me because I feel out of control. I think faster than anyone can keep up with. My sex drive totally kicks in. I feel super turned on all of the time and I crave risky behavior. I want to do crazy things that push my limits. While I’ve never gone this far, it is definitely a time when I feel I could take on the whole football team. I don’t have good boundaries or decision making skills when I’m manic. When I was younger I would often violate relationship agreements in a fit of mania. Since then I’ve learned to be responsible for myself all of the time, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t take advantage of a manic state for some hot sex!

Depression can be extremely hard because it is so insidious.  Depression steals my self-esteem and I don’t even realize it. I just feel ugly, slow, and pathetic. It’s difficult to get out of bed in the morning. Every step is like wading through a swamp of oatmeal. I try harder when I’m depressed, present more, dress up and wear more makeup. I often feel very little desire in this state. Sometimes, though, I can use sex to try to circumnavigate the numbness. What I really want is to be loved and held, but I don’t feel capable of being loved. When we do make contact, it can be very sweet and life-affirming.

PTSD

When someone lives through a horrific experience, the experience can get put away in the brain as raw data (sights, smells, sounds, etc.) and not as the kind of processed stories we normally have as memories. Later, if something happens to bring that event up again, it literally seems to be happening all over again, right now. It feels real and immediate. This is what Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is about. When people who have PTSD react, it can seem totally irrational, until you look at it in the context of the original trauma.

Because my PTSD has been around childhood abuse and rape, I spent many evenings in my early 20’s starting off feeling sexy in bed and ending up naked hiding in the closet shivering.

Post-Partum Mood Disorder

Post-Partum Mood Disorder is a constellation of mental health disorders brought on by the extreme shift in hormones following the birth of a baby.  Mothers, fathers, and adoptive parents can all experience it. Depression and anxiety are its most common forms.

PPMD is particularly troubling because having a baby is already a stressful and isolating time. I was lucky because when I had my youngest four years ago, I had the support of a poly family. Still, it was a difficult time, during which I gained about 40 pounds, was afraid to be alone with the baby, and feared abandonment constantly. I know that I had sex during this time, but I don’t really remember it. I had body and attachment issues. It was hard to be me, but I wanted to use sex to make sure that people would still love me. It was all I could do to get from moment to moment and day to day. I joined OKCupid for some positive feedback.

What you can do

If you believe that you are suffering from a mental health disorder, or even if you just want to make changes in how you interact in your relationships and improve your sex life, the first thing to do is talk to your doctor or a public health clinic. Get a referral for a therapist and someone who can help you assess if medications might help you. There are many alternatives to medicine, but this is not a bad place to start, especially if you have been living under this cloud for years. It is important to have both pieces: medication and talk therapy. Medication can change the chemical imbalance that’s happening in your body and therapy can help you figure out how to change the patterns in your life that are problematic.

Not all health care providers are created the same. Make sure to find people that you can trust and talk to easily. Don’t be afraid to decide that your provider is not working for you and find another. This person is going to be a vital member of your health team – make it right. Also, own your care. It’s hard to be assertive when you don’t feel strong, but please speak up if you don’t agree with a diagnosis or care plan. Passively agreeing to something you won’t do is just a waste of time. Own your health care!

I have been able to do amazing things by taking Lithium regularly and working hard in therapy. I have been able to minimize the impact of both mania and depression. I’ve worked through debilitating anxiety, learned how to have healthier relationships, and come to feel better about my body. I’ve even been able to work through the PTSD memories so as to see them as a cohesive story and put them away like regular memories. It’s a lot of work, and things are still hard sometimes, but I have hope. I know that these are things I am doing to have the life I want.

What you can do for someone you love

Loving someone who lives with a mental health disorder is challenging.  They may not want your help and you need to respect that. If they do want you to help, do what you can to understand that their actions do not reflect on you. For example, when one of my partners is unhappy, I tend to feel like I’ve done something wrong. I try not to take that on, but instead to address the unhappy feeling in a caring and supportive manner. For someone who’s life is seriously out of control however, you may need to step in. Do some research. Find a doctor and a therapist. Go with your loved one to the appointments.

Find ways to connect with each other. Sex might be a good way to be close. For some people sex transcends the mood disorder. For many, many people though, sex becomes next to impossible. That doesn’t mean that they don’t need love and affection. Don’t give up. Find ways to be close to each other anyway, that are comfortable for both of you. Go for a walk and hold hands. Brush each other’s hair. Cook together.  Read a story aloud. Write them a love letter. When things are hard, write a list of all of the reasons you fell in love. If you really need to find sexual outlet somewhere else, have a frank and honest conversation. Find a way to do it respectfully.

Make sure that you take good care of yourself. You are important too.

Remember that it will get better.

 

Because it will get better. Somewhere along the way I forgot to count the minutes. Then I forgot that I was barely getting through each day.  Things got better. I get sick and tired of working on my stuff all of the time, but it makes a huge difference. Every day I get stronger.

I don’t generally make a big deal about my mental health issues. When I was young I was told not to let anyone know because I would be stigmatized. I think that’s crap. Everyone has their issues and so few people ever seek help. If just one person reads this and it changes how they think about mental health, I will be happy. Maybe you are that one person. Are you tired of how hard you have to work to make it through the day? What if you could use that energy for other things, things that bring you joy? What if addressing your mental health issues could let you have the kind of sex you want to have? Is it worth it now? Don’t give up hope.

Oct 082012
 

You belong on your knees

You belong on your knees,
head bowed, hands offered up,
give me your prayers.

Beg me, please, please, please.

I want your submission, sublimation,
I will take from you your sin,
your sorrow, your suffering,
and your sex.

Will you give up everything?
I can hold all of you.

Assume that you are here at my feet
to worship me.
Do you want my full breasts,
nipples hardened with lust,
my cunt wet and welcoming?

Have you come to hurt?
Your pain is mine to have
and heal.

Come to me, little one.
I know how to play your body,
draw out hidden emotions,
make a meal out of sensation,
make you scream, and cry, and plead.

Push past your fear,
and revel in your shame.

Gasp under my kiss,
writhe beneath my hand,
spasm at the touch of my tongue,
but don’t come until I say.

Beg me, please, please, please.

Give me your prayers,
head bowed, hands offered up,
you belong on your knees.

Oct 072012
 

I slide out from under the warm blankets, bare flesh shocked to wakefulness by the crisp chill in the room. The cold floor against my feet is especially bracing. I hurry to the bathroom. Outside my window, the leaves are starting to turn. Flashes of yellow and red are now mixed with green.

I catch my face in the mirror. The seasons are turning for me as as well, little lines forming around the corners of my eyes. My breasts and belly are not as firm as they once were, and yet I am more comfortable in my body than I was in the Spring of my life. Autumn seems to be full of expectation and joy for things to come.

Thinking of things to come, I rush back to bed. I burrow back under the covers, laughing and breathless. He rolls over and opens his arms to welcome me. My skin quickly warms against his. I contort, trying to tuck my toes under his scrotum. It becomes a giggling wrestling match.

I get pinned under him, warm and tingly. I want nothing more than his kiss and he is happy to oblige. I feel so safe and loved. Our kisses are long, slow, and deep. We kiss until I can’t feel the difference between him and me. We kiss until I am wet with desire.

Going downHis kisses travel under the blanket, hot tongue circling each nipple. I am gasping, full of want. I love his attention on my nipples but I am impatient. I urge him lower. I peek under the sheets as he settles his face over my cunt. He grins at me and sticks out his tongue. He pushes my knees apart and my vulva opens for him. Covering my entire cunt with little licks, he makes sure that I am wet everywhere before settling on my clit.

I am groaning and writhing as he sweats under the blankets. He sucks at my clit and flicks with the tip of his tongue. It is an exquisite sensation, almost too intense to handle. I start to bounce a bit and tighten the muscles in my thighs. I want to be fucked. Surely he is suffocating down there, but he just keeps going.

He presses his fingers against my opening. I press back. Without stopping his tongue movements at all, he slides first one finger, then two into my cunt. It feels divine. When he thrusts deep inside and presses his fingers up I think I’m going to pass out from sheer pleasure. My eyes roll and flutter. I pass from want to need. I NEED to be fucked.

Between his fingers and his tongue I am pinned. I feel my orgasm start to build deep inside. His motions are like ocean waves that suck me back and cast me forth again. But the tide is coming in. Oh yes. Yes, yes, yesss. I am screaming with each pulse of my incredible orgasm. He keeps coming for a long while.

Suddenly, I need his cock more than I’ve ever needed anything. I reach under the covers, pulling him to me, kissing his face messy with my juices, feeling for his penis. I find him already hard. I want to put him in my mouth, but I also just want to fuck. After pumping a few times with my hand, penetrative sex wins. I am begging him to fuck me. Please, please put your cock in me!

We are sweat soaked and sticky and radiating love for each other. He pauses, poised above me, ready to full me with his cock, and looks into my eyes. I know he is making sure that I really want this. He is asking me to see him, to share his love. I nod and take him in. We look deep into each other’s eyes as we become one. Then the sensation overtakes us and we cling to each other.

ComingWe are twisted in the sheets, gasping and striving. I love him over me. The movement of the muscles along his body feel strong and alive. I adore being held safe in his arms as he glides toward his own orgasm, taking me with him. I can tell that he’s close because his breathing changes. My focus shifts to my own orgasm. We build together, feeding off of each other’s energy. I tip over the edge and take him with me. We are coming, and coming, and coming together.

We collapse, throwing back the too hot blankets. The cool autumn air cools our skin and evaporates our sweat. I leave a trail of tiny kisses on his arm. We can hear the children start to stir downstairs. Our thoughts are already sliding to coffee, breakfast, reading, yard work, showers, and a hundred Sunday details. But for right now, we have this perfect moment, this perfect Autumn Sunday moment.

Oct 062012
 

The pink parts of the body – lips, tongues, nipples, cunts, cocks, assholes, and soles of the feet – tend to be my favorites. This month, for National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, WholeSexLife is sharing a series of public service announcements that challenge you to “Get pink!” We want you to get to know your body and the bodies of the people you play with so you can detect any changes. Early detection is so important with cancer! So go ahead: palpate that breast, prostate, or testicle. Get pink!

(We are also participating in Sinful Sunday‘s special competition in conjunction with RSVP Erotica…)

Get pink! for cancer awarenessGet pink! for cancer awarenessGet pink! for cancer awareness

Get pink! for cancer awarenessGet pink! for cancer awareness

 

To see how other people are getting positively pink, click below!

Sinful Sunday