Nov 082012

To the Rapey Asshole in Pullman,

I just got off the phone with my daughter. You know, the girl you drugged in a bar last month hoping you could get some action because you are such a pathetic loser that you can’t get laid otherwise. She didn’t tell me until just now because she knew I would be furious and there’s nothing we can do about it. She doesn’t even remember you, just experienced your handiwork. She was sick for a week from that drug. You’re lucky that she didn’t die, because I would have hunted you down.

She doesn’t remember anything from that night. I can only imagine what she’s going through. Is it hell not knowing what actually happened, or is it a blessing to not know? She thinks that probably you didn’t rape her. I’m a bit more cynical. I fear the worst. I’ve seen your type, but I know my girl. I bet she fought like a wildcat. I hope you’re still suffering.

I may not be able to get my hands on you, but I believe in karma.

a rage filled momma


To the Pullman Police,

When you found my daughter passed out in a ditch, did you put handcuffs on her right away? Or did you wait until she was weeping uncontrollably? Did you stop to think for just a second that her slurred speech could be from being drugged without her consent or do you assume that all college girls are drunken sluts? Did you not find it strange that witnesses reported her being with a man who ran away?

How could you possibly think that my daughter was anything other than a victim in this situation? Was she such a threat that you had to put her in custody? I want to jump up and down in frustration and rage that you would not handle my child with compassion and consideration for her well-being. That girl is my precious daughter. Every girl is someone’s precious daughter.

Is this a common situation in your town? Do you get a lot of girls passed out in ditches? Is it so common that you are inured to the sight? Maybe that’s because your town has a problem with date rape drugs. I bet every girl at that college has a story about it by the time they graduate. Yes, that is your problem. Clean it the fuck up. Now.

Fuck you,
a rage filled momma


To the Pullman Regional Hospital,

I am saddened by your lack of professionalism. Without your bill I would still be ignorant of this challenge my daughter has had to face, so I am glad for that. But why couldn’t you have done your fucking job when the cops brought my daughter to you?

I understand that she appeared inebriated, but then why not treat her for alcohol poisoning? Didn’t you notice the bruises and scratches all over my sweet girl? I wish someone had thought to call me. I would have been in my car and on the phone telling you all what to do. Where were you with the drug testing and the goddamned rape kit? Not that I would wish that on my girl, but WTF? Do your job.

I am thankful for the nurse on duty, who talked to my daughter days later and helped her to put together what happened when not knowing was killing her. She didn’t remember anything and you helped her piece together a bit of a story. That is a kindness.

Again though, how many college girls do you treat in this situation? Don’t you see this as a problem? Please treat this epidemic like you would any other.

Litigiously yours,
a rage filled momma


To the WWU counselor,

How dare you. How dare you slut shame and victim blame my help-seeking child! No, she is not suffering from alcohol withdrawals. She is experiencing panic attacks. No, her experience was not alcohol poisoning, she just told you that she got date rape drugged. Do you get what that means? No, you don’t.

It means that someone tried to rape my daughter. Maybe they did, we don’t know. What kind of misogynistic asshole neglects to acknowledge that? Isn’t that possibly why she needed an emergency appointment to see you? Were you the best the college could offer at that given moment? Cuz buddy, you suck.

It makes me so mad that my daughter would reach out for help at this difficult time and you would just assume that she drank too much. You don’t know my girl, you cynical fuckhead. Get over yourself and try to actually help the people you pretend to serve. College girls get raped. Help them.

Up yours,
a rage filled momma


My dear sweet darling daughter,

I love you so much. None of my rage is directed at you. You are my star. You are my first child and I am so proud of you. You are so responsible and such a good adult. You always make good choices, but even if you didn’t I would love you to the moon and back.

I’m so sorry that this bad thing happened to you. It drives me crazy that I can’t go back in time and change it. I want to always keep you safe and happy… but I can’t. I’m very impressed with how you have handled all of this. I wish you had told me sooner, but I get why you didn’t. It’s okay. You knew that I would react like this and you didn’t want the weight of that too. It’s okay sweet girl. I love you. Your whole family loves you so much!

I love that you have already thought of everything that I can come up with to do, including getting tested for STD’s at two months out. I hope that you are not too worried while you wait. I admire how well you have taken care of yourself. I’m relieved that you feel angry too.

I think that you are perfectly wonderful. It’s okay that your grades have slipped some. You are doing fine. We’ve got your back. It hurts me to think of this burdening you. I ache when I think of every girl who has to suffer this date rape drug bullshit. I want to thank you for every woman who has ever been slipped a date rape drug. Thank you for standing up and speaking out.

You are my hero beautiful brilliant girl.

All the love in the universe,
your momma

  • Dawn Nutter Alling

    From one mom to another, this is a scary thing. I’m glad you’re dealing with it well. If you ever find the asshole, you have one more person in your corner who will hold him down while your daughter kicks his ass.

  • Greg

    Wow. The whole system appears to have kicked the victim when she was down. Soo sorry to read about this. And blessings to you and yours.

  • Vonnie Thompson

    Is there anything that she (or you) wants or needs us to do? Write letters? I’ve got the raging and praying part down already. Karma’s gonna be a raging bitch to a bunch of people.

  • Karma

    Crap. I kinda need to hit something about now. A lot of somethings. Hugs to you and your daughter.

  • mom

    I understand the sickening rage and frustration and overwhelming sadness and horror. I know that desire to murder the perpetrator and the awful sadness when you realize you didn’t, couldn’t, and still can’t protect your baby. My daughter Heather is almost 40 and I still feel those things for her and now for my beautiful granddaughter. Hold together and love each other and I swear that must overcome the pain.

  • Jamie rain

    I have no words, only tears. I know we have been at odds on the past, but I have never stopped loving you and yours. I’m so angry that she has to live this!

  • Melanie

    Letters may come in handy! I will not let this kind of response stand. As Evoe says, we can’t go back into the past. But we can change the future.

  • Melanie

    Thanks for supporting us, Miss Jamie.

  • Melanie

    What Karma hits, stays hit!

  • Catherine Kehl

    Aw, crap.

    One of my senior martial arts students, and kind of an adopted little sister is out in Pullman. I was not unaware of the problems there, but this really brings it home.

  • polyoctonomy

    So very sorry. I cannot imagine the pain, anger and anxiety that your family and your daughter must be feeling. It is a testament to the wonderful mother that you are that she is a strong female. Hope they find the bastard and sting him up by the short hairs.

  • Lydia

    I apologize on behalf of the whole fucking world that this happened to her. I pledge to work hard to influence whatever change I can influence to make it never happen again & to surround her & you with healing. If there is anything I can do in a more specific sense, tell me & I will do it.

  • Sheena

    Hugs to you and yours. Strength and healing. There are so many who will never understand such an experience. They should not be the officials to be in charge of what they cannot comprehend.