Sep 232013

EvoëI have a confession to make: I don’t know very much about condoms. I always have a few in case I need them, but I’m in fluid bonded relationships and the need for condoms doesn’t come up very often. I’m even more at a loss when trying to buy condoms. I know I need latex-free because I’m sensitive and my experience is that the lube on condoms can be irritating. That’s it. Does size matter? Evidently, since some condoms are too small for Joel. Everyone is different, so how do you know what to buy?

Several months ago I was contacted by an awesome new company, Lucky Bloke, offering to let me try out a couple of their sampler packs. I can’t tell you enough how impressed I am. Lucky Bloke is amazing. They have a  global condom review system so you can read about other people’s experience with each product. The CEO is a woman, and every interaction I’ve had with Lucky Bloke has been extremely helpful and positive. They really went out of their way to try to send me just the right condoms and lubes.

I’m pretty picky about my lubes. I’m a delicate flower and most lubes really irritate me. Lucky Bloke sent me 12 lube samples (exciting!) and of those, 9 were good options for me. I think this is astonishing. I can’t believe that there is a company dedicated to providing high quality lubricant sample packs. I love little packets of lube. It’s like a birthday  – sex and presents! Sometimes you need to know that your lube is sterile (like for sounding) so little packets are perfect. You can’t go wrong with portable and fun – unless you need buckets of lube. Lucky Bloke has their lube sampler on sale now, in either 6 or 12 packet packs. If you are looking for the best lube for you, I recommend the larger selection so you can try out a bunch of products. One of them is sure to suit.

As I mentioned before, I don’t use condoms very often. It took us months to work through the samples Lucky Bloke sent me. This was good, because I actually had to rethink some of the ways I have sex to see where condom use would be good – like putting a condom over my strap-on dildo in order to make clean up after pegging super simple. Female condoms are another learning experience. That’s right, condoms are not just for blokes!

condomNo matter who you are, if you are looking for the quality condoms from around the world, check this company out. As far as I can tell, the customer service is phenomenal, they have a 100% satisfaction guarantee, and they will help you figure out your size. Shipping is very reasonable, no matter where you live. Plus they donate 10% of their proceeds to charities and causes their customers select. And there is so much valuable information on their website!

Generally I like to outline the positives and negatives for a review like this, but I pretty much only have good things to say about Lucky Bloke. I might complain that they need a search function on their website and I wish that they sold my favorite lube so I could buy from them, but overall I am so happy that they found me!

Bottom line: Could you be improving your pleasure with a better condom?

Grade: A

Sep 192013

Harold & EvoëHis alarm went off.

I rolled over and snuggled into his armpit, breathing in his comforting just right scent. The air in the room was brisk in that early autumn way, making the warmth of his skin and the soft flannel sheets the coziest place in the world. I started to feel turned on. Our hands grazed each other’s bodies. Slowly and sleepily we kissed. The energy between us would build then softly pass into sleep. We did this several times before he rolled over, pressed himself as close to me as humanly possible, and we dozed with my arms wrapped around him.

My alarm went off.

He levered himself onto hands and knees then turned to bury his face in my cunt. His cock and balls hung a handspan from my face. While he inspired me with his tongue, I massaged his scrotum and felt him stiffen under my ministrations. Desire bloomed between us – wet and open, hard and ready.

He sat up and looked at me. We needed to decide whether to keep going or get out of bed. I was groggy and turned on, ready for lazy love making, but we needed to get the children ready for school. Surely 5 more minutes wouldn’t matter? “Just fuck me,” I whispered.

I expected that he would be on me in a flash, but instead he said, “No. Save this energy for tonight.”

No? I took his cock into my mouth, enjoying the feel of his shaft sliding in and out. I imagined him filling another hole. His cock slipped from my mouth and I half sat up to kiss him. Maybe he would fuck me now? No, now we really do have to get the children up.

That excited feeling of sexual need carried me through getting 4 children to 4 different schools. The fire of early morning passion turned to warm expectation of things to come. I could feel desire connecting us as we went on with our day. I also felt a bit of an edge, perhaps a touch short with people, a little frustration coloring my interactions. I am not good at waiting. I am an instant gratification girl. Why chose between sex now or later when you could have both?

Hours later, after dropping all the children off, I found myself thinking of him. My fantasies started simple, but quickly got kinkier. I wandered the house, unable to focus on any of the things I needed to do. I settled into bed with my laptop. He called me, fanning the flames of my desire. I complained about the state I was in and he told me to take a shower, implying that I should take some time and get myself off.

Good idea. In the shower I let the hot water caress my skin. Twice I left the shower because I decided I needed additional equipment. It was a very elaborate masturbation session. I fought the urge to rush to orgasm, drawing out the sensations. When I did come, I coaxed every last spasm out of my body. The water started to get cold.

Harold & EvoëAfter, I felt kind of empty. The orgasm didn’t fill my need for connection. I still wanted him just as bad. I still do. As much as possible I have focused on my normal daily tasks. I’ve tried to stay focused and grounded, but…

I’m waiting for our time. I’m anticipating that moment when the kids go to sleep, the dishes are done, the chickens are tucked in, and he and I find ourselves in each other’s arms. I want to feel him with all my skin, rolling around in cozy flannel, not sure if we are laughing or kissing. This delight we share in each other is what keeps me going. I’m going crazy waiting for bed time.

Sep 142013

making loveI’m waiting to see if the new relationship energy (NRE) will fade for Harold and me. We’ve been together for six years and I still get hot when he walks into the room. We continue to stay open to each other emotionally. We still send each other mushy emails, IM’s, and texts throughout the day. We talk for hours, gazing longingly into each other’s eyes. We are increasingly more in love every day.

Most romantic and sexual relationships start with a surge of NRE. It’s that intoxicating rush that happens when you establish that you really like each other – the excitement and happiness that makes it possible to sleep for less than 4 hours a night and still function at work the next morning. It’s the happy space where you see all of the potential of a person. NRE can be exhilarating and is likely the mechanism of falling in love. (The best article I’ve ever seen about the chemical processes of NRE is in National Geographic, if you want to read more.)

going downThere are benefits to NRE. I am stronger and more willing to take risks or to push past my comfort zones because I am in love, both because I feel I have unwavering support and because my body is flooded with hormones that make stretching as a person feel good. We make love constantly, leaving me feeling relaxed, focused, and full of love for everyone around me. Every day I choose to be with Harold because I want him, not out of obligation or shared commitments. We simply desire each other body, mind, and spirit.

Rather than love making me blind to Harold’s faults, I find that his inner self unfolds at my touch. I can see all of the places where his energy sticks or snarls. Sometimes we collide, but often I see that his stuck places have nothing to do with me. I can hold him with love and shine my light for him to see as well. I know him well. It’s amazing to drop all presentation and know that I am loved for who I truly am, not who he wants me to be.

KissOne of the biggest challenges for us is being in a poly family. We both have partners whom we love very much. We don’t want our exuberance to hurt anyone’s feelings, but we don’t want to feel like we have to keep our feelings secret either. We’re walking a fine line. Our partners have been fairly tolerant of our passionate relationship because they both like to see us happy. I feel like the love we generate between us spills out, benefiting everyone.

Our sex has certainly flourished under the influence of NRE. We’ve gotten more efficient at giving each other pleasure over time, but never has making love gotten stale or routine. We constantly explore new territory, examining every dark crevice of our perverted brains. He makes me shameless. Literally. There isn’t anything I would hesitate to ask him for. I am never ashamed of my desires and never flinch at his. I want every bit of him.

We make love in every way, from rough and kinky to slow and sweet. We make out in public, intense lingering kisses. We make love while we cook dinner together. We don’t even touch, but that energy between us builds with erotic tension. He goes down on me under the covers, sweaty and wet with my juices while I writhe and try to stay silent. We drive each other wild until we can’t stand it and absolutely must fuck in the back of the car, or bent over a stool in the bathroom, or at the side of a hiking path. We role play and explore power dynamics. We’re animal together. Our sex life is everything I have ever wanted and more that I never dreamed.

making love slowlyEarly on in our relationship, I had a vision while we were making love. I saw a lotus blossom slowly start to unfold, revealing a core of golden light. This is me, and this is our love. I don’t know anything about tantra, but I think that the truth that Harold and I have discovered together is probably the same truth that mystics and lovers have known forever: it isn’t about the orgasm (although coming is powerful), it’s about letting go of the ego and opening to your partner in order to experience ecstatic unity.

New relationship energy is expansive. It expands the universe around the relationship. It seems to me that at some point people usually stop expanding and settle down. They let the relationship define their boundaries. It’s comfortable. It feels secure, but often the passion dies. Maybe it depends on what you want in a relationship. If you want marriage and children, you would likely stop when you got that. I’m older than that I guess. I want amazing sex and someone who sees me as a whole person, someone to dream with and explore the world with.

BlissI don’t want to ever stop expanding. I’ll take the ever-changing surprises of honesty, empowerment, and lust over the lure of stasis. I find my happiness being in the present. I don’t think this is NRE. I think this is the energy of our love together. We are always opening to love like a lotus to light.





Sinful Sunday