Oct 232013
Harold ready and waiting

He opened his mouth wide and told me to go, but I couldn’t figure out how to aim.

I didn’t plan on peeing on him. I didn’t wake up and think, hey, I can’t wait to cover him in urine. I didn’t anticipate standing naked over him in the bright light and chill air of an Autumn afternoon, but there I was. I looked at him, his mouth open and eyes tightly closed, so ready to accept me. I had to go so badly I could barely keep it in, but when the moment came I hesitated. Because, well, you just don’t pee on people, I guess, especially people you love – unless they have asked you very sweetly to do so.

Just when I think I’ve experimented with all of the deviant things that have ever sounded hot to me, something comes up that I have to try (or try again), just in case. I’ve talked before about peeing and my explorations with urinating outside because it’s been so freeing and empowering. But peeing rarely feels at all sexual for me. If anything, it brings up a childlike mischievousness.

Harold started asking me to pee on him right at the beginning of our relationship. At first I kind of laughed him off. Then I said that he’d never get me to do that, knowing full well that he would talk me into it eventually, but I was determined to make him earn that victory. He would say, “Come on, pee in my mouth. Then you will know that there isn’t any part of you that I don’t want.” I was just thankful he wasn’t asking for my shit.

I had a certain squick reaction. I know that urine is sterile and not a problem unless you are really sick, but early toilet training that says pee is dirty is pretty strong. I know that I am not at all interested in being peed on myself. But would it really be so bad to give Harold what he wanted? Did I actually have a reason to be squicked or just conditioning?

The drowned god

At one point I was pretty sure Harold was going to drown and I was going to have to explain.

Eventually I gave in to his suggestions and squatted over his face to let a small stream of urine into his mouth. It helped that I had been practicing peeing outside and gotten skilled. We felt victorious to have accomplished this desire of his. It wasn’t sexual, although it had the feel of something forbidden. We didn’t get turned on, just felt closer to each other.

For a while that was good enough. Years have gone by. Lately Harold has been suggesting I pee in his mouth again. I’ve been questioning him, trying to understand. Is it a fetish? It seems not – for some people doing something “dirty” would be erotic. For Harold it’s part childlike curiosity about how girls’ bodies work, part wanting to break down taboos, and part desire for absolute intimacy. I can understand all that. I have to admit that in a totally geeky Dune kind of way, sharing my body’s waters with someone seems like a sign of deep respect.

Yesterday, Harold and I enjoyed a rare 6 hour long date with each other. Midway through, when we were sweaty and naked in front of the fire, I realized that I had gone through nearly a liter of water and I needed to pee terribly badly. I had been waiting because it can be easier to orgasm if my bladder is full, but it had reached emergency level of urgency. Harold again said, “Why don’t you just pee in my mouth?” Well, okay, I thought. Why not take one for science? Let’s see what happens.

Adrift on golden bliss

I was surprised at how blissful Harold looked in the throes of being showered on.

It took us a few more minutes to negotiate and come up with a plan. I insisted that we needed photos. We decided to go outside, even though it was cold because clean up would be easier. This is how I found myself poised over Harold’s prone naked body, camera in hand, giggling like crazy and trying not to pee until I was ready.

I felt awkward. Nothing in my life had really prepared me for this scenario. Harold had his mouth open and I couldn’t figure out how to take pictures. Have you ever had to pee so bad that you couldn’t remember how to relax the right muscles and let go? Yeah. I was nervous. I finally managed to start and it was a huge gush. Harold moved up to catch it. I was fascinated and slightly appalled watching him sputter and gasp. I was afraid he would drown and I have have to explain to the paramedics. And his wife. Taking pics was nearly impossible.

I stopped urinating as soon as I could control the flow. Harold laid back with a dreamy smile. I still had to go, so I just stood there straddling him, both of us watching the steady stream hit his belly. I’ve been taking my vitamins, so my pee is that lovely fluorescent color. I had a moment of surrender then, where I just let go of everything. I didn’t realize until that moment how much I hold back in my body. Right then I could see the erotic potential of golden showers. Warm body fluids connected us. It was a blessing or a benediction – like being born or christened, like holy water. His soul felt wide open to me.

Splash zone

I was taken by the artful and wide-spread spatter zone.

That moment passed. Fluids cooled, leaving us both chilled. I looked at Harold and wondered if I could ever kiss him again, then found that I could. We congratulated ourselves like kids getting away with something and ran inside to dry off. In the seamless way we have, we continued to make love.

I don’t know if this is territory that we’ll ever traverse again, but at least we had a good visit. Harold got his intimacy and acceptance. I got a glimpse of a Top space where I could really let go of everything. Golden showers are a weird and wild place. I’m intrigued, sort of in spite of myself.

Oct 162013

potter  Photo courtesy of  Property of Potter

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust].  Want to be included in e[lust] #52? Start with the newly updated rules, come back November 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

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7 (Random!) Suggestions for Dominant Types!

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To Punt or Not To Punt, That is the Question

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

SexyLittleIdeas – Why PUA Is Like Feminism
Understanding When His Glass is Full
To Minxy Malone, Thanks For Everything
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The List (is a waste of time)
Confronting Your Sense of Entitlement
What Do You Prefer: Cut or Uncut?
My Secret Relationship with Max
Quaint Little Categories
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Erotic Fiction

Property Procured
The Delight of Leather 
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Granny’s Door
Lolita Twenty-Thirteen, Part Nine
The Edge of the Park
The Blood Mage’s Sacrifice
The Spanking Paddle-Off
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Erotic Non-Fiction

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Dominant and Submissive “Fix”
Baring It All
Blow Job Submission – A spicy twist
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My nudity


CatalystCon Part 1: Dildos, dildos, dildos

Oct 062013

Adv Couple's Guide to Sex Toys 2eBook: “The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys”
Written by: Violet Blue
Foreword by: Dr. Charlie Glickman
Published by: Cleis Press

We dare you to read this book.

Are you scared to ask your partner to try the kinky things you fantasize about? Or maybe you are at the other end of the spectrum – you think that together you’ve tried all of the sex toys? Then we double dare you to read Violet Blue’s new book, “The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys.” Whether you’ve never even broached the subject of sex toys or you’re getting bored in the bedroom, we think you can use this guide to find some inspiration.

We’re pretty adventurous. Collectively, we have over 60 years of experience making, buying, and using sex toys. While we try to be as safe as possible, there have been some misadventures, so the first thing that we noticed about “The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys” was Blue’s well informed safety tips. Important information is covered clearly and often highlighted in a boxout, making it easy to access. We wish that there had been a book like this when we were first looking at sex toys!

Countless people have told us stories of shame that made it impossible to ask their partner for what they really want. It drives us crazy because we believe that everyone deserves to have a fulfilling sex life. Well! We now have a resource to recommend to those people. “The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys” doesn’t have all of the answers, but it focuses on good communication and offers some concrete suggestions for starting the sex toy conversation or surprising your lover with a toy (hint: surprise is not always a good idea). Blue’s personality shines through her writing, putting you at ease like you were having coffee with your sex smart best friend. There is no shame here, only fascinating data meant to empower you.

Our biggest criticism of the book is that it’s fairly heteronormative. While Blue has been very inclusive of all people, the book largely addresses straight couples. The chapter on strap-on sex has some great information about introducing men to anal play, but nothing about women playing together. Most of the material is presented in an unbiased fashion, but we found the overall assumption tended toward heterosexual couples. A minor thing of note: we found some of the language a bit forced or awkward from time to time, but it doesn’t interfere too much.

We loved pretty much everything else: the brightly colored cover, the highly accurate illustrations by Zanne DeJanvier, the foreword written by Charlie Glickman, PhD, and a whole chapter on resources for acquiring good sex toys. We appreciate Blue’s candor in naming names when talking about products she believes in. “The Adventurous Couple’s Guide” bravely covers the gamut of sex toys: vibrators, butt plugs and other anal toys, dildos, strap-on harnesses, bondage, and nipple clamps. We were most excited to read about teledildonics (including webcam), sex machines, and sex furniture.

We found a lot of stuff in “The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys” that we have tried. What surprised us was how much new information there was. Well, maybe not new, but things we haven’t ever talked to each other about. We read the book separately, but when we compared notes we discovered that we shared a whole new realm of fantasy we have not yet explored. Just reading this book was a huge turn on – thinking about everything we’ve done and things we’d still love to do inspired some heavy sexting and at least one masturbation session. Without this book, we might never have shared with each other a mutual and intense interest in trying out a Monkey Rocker!

So, we dare you. We dare you to share this book with your lover.

~Evoë  & Harold

Oct 012013

Wrapped in a sheetHave you wondered what it would feel like to make love for hours on end? Could you take sex to such a sacred level that everything you do together is about sustained attraction and pleasure? Could you open your heart and let your partner flow through you?

We had 40 hours alone together in an alpine chalet. We made love for every minute of it, so happy to share company, so enraptured by each other’s pleasure, that everything we did was infused with love. Every time we are together we create a bond that goes deeper.

We made love for 40 hours, holed up in a tiny rundown a-frame. I said “made love”, not fucked, although we did lots of fucking. No, I mean we created love between us. We slept wrapped in each other’s arms, breathing in the scent of our sweat on each other’s skin. We slept in blissful golden safety.

When we woke in the morning, our desire peaked. The river rushed by our window and we simply merged – his mouth driving me wild, fingers inside me, my orgasm stretching out, taking his proud erection in my mouth.  We paused as he entered me. Is this what we wanted? We had all day…

Almost thereBut I’m all for taking pleasure in the moment. We never know what will come. No regrets, fuck now and hope fore more later. We fucked and the sweetness built between us. He filled me with his jism.

For 40 hours we made love with every action. We nibbled on finger foods, drank orange juice and coffee. I feel loved when I am fed. He shows love by providing for me. Food is such a sensual joy when we take time to enjoy it.

I meditated on the bed, feeling his presence strong beside me. I spiraled deep inside myself, seeing everything laid out before me. Anchored by his love, I healed parts of me that had been broken. Stretched out beside his warm body, I experienced a clarity that is often elusive. When I opened my eyes to his smile, I knew he could feel it too.

We cuddled in the hot tub, rain pouring down, but the mountains gorgeous around us. I couldn’t keep my fingers from his skin. I watched his lips when he talked, needing to kiss them.

We surrounded ourselves in music, filling the small space with rhythms and lyrics that conjured up our past, times before we were together and since our lives have slowly grown together. Sometimes the music felt like it was my whole being and sometimes it was the backdrop of our conversation. We danced.

Harold made upI laid him out in front of the gas fireplace. Naked in a nest of blankets and pillows on the floor, I sat on his hips and made up his face. Touching a lover’s face is one of the most intimate things I can imagine and I loved making him my art. I was conscious of my cunt moist against his semi-erect cock, but I was intent on applying eyeliner. He never looks effeminate in make-up, it’s more that his fey nature shines through.

Talking seamlessly moved into oral sex and back. I hovered on the edge of orgasm. We fucked in spurts, laced with making out and kinky bits. I spanked him with a hairbrush, but it was my soft caresses that made him cry. We made love before and after eating, in and out of the hot tub, all over the cabin. Always, we stopped short of coming, letting our energy build.

We tumbled into bed, a bit sore, yet still full of need. A storm raged outside and the power went out, plunging us into total darkness. I felt afraid and slept holding his hand, a flashlight clutched in the other. There was a kind of isolation in that darkness, like being wrapped in a cocoon, but in some way we were still making love. It was just the two of us, far away from the rest of the world.

In the morning, he pampered me – an array of breakfast delights, my vibrator, and kisses all over. I finally found release with the help of his hands and it was incredibly sweet. I took over and spent some time focused on his body. It’s such a gift to have him give himself to me like that.

End of the weekendWe talked more in the hot tub. He broke through some wall I didn’t know was there. One moment we were drying off and the next I was crouched on the floor sobbing. He wrapped his whole body around me and held me while grief thundered out of me. I dripped snot into his hair.

We cleaned up and left. It wasn’t nearly enough, it’s never enough, but we so desperately need these times to connect with each other. We had 40 hours together in a run-down a-frame and we made every second count. What I know is that every second always counts. I want to make love every moment because I don’t know how much time we’ll have together in this world, but the love we make is real and will stay with me forever.