I woke up smiling this morning. You must have just left the bed because I snuggled into your warm spot, breathing in your scent. I let my mind slowly come into awareness. My thoughts wandered through my plans for the day and conversations we’ve been having. I remembered the way you went down on me yesterday when I said I was feeling turned on. My fingers began caressing my stomach and thighs – not with intent, just think of you and loving myself.
I stretched to wake up my muscles and bring myself more into my body. I am tender in places I didn’t know I could be tender! Each sore spot reminds me of some delicious time we’ve spent together. My ass aches where you gave me the best spanking ever. Every time I walk up the stairs my thighs protest from all the time I was on top and riding you as hard as I could. My upper arms twinge from hitting your balls with a mallet. Even the brush of the sheets on my nipples is enough to make me shudder in pain and longing. My clitoris feels swollen from so much attention from your mouth, and fingers, and the vibrator. I stretched out my body and realized that I am so happy.
This has been a hard patch that we are going through. I know we often go from dawn to dusk without a moment for ourselves. Things in our lives are changing. Transformation is usually stressful. I want to acknowledge that you are the joy in my life, the thing that keeps me going, my partner, and my friend. I appreciate your presence more than I can express, but I think my body is speaking for me.
We have made love 5 times in the past week, beyond the kind of diffuse lovemaking we share most of the time. We connect in so many ways. We are finally living authentically. When we walk around actively loving each other, slipping into intercourse feels easy and natural. Even waking up in the middle of the night so turned on that we fuck sweetly and fall asleep again! I love that we trust each other this much. Our relationship keeps getting deeper.
I want to thank you for staying with me through the pain in my vagina. I’ve sometimes felt like I’ve lost my identity without my sexuality, but I’ve never been without you. It’s been frustrating to have a part of my body so closely tied to pleasure feel so uncomfortable. I haven’t always known how to stay connected sexually. We’ve been creative. The pain hasn’t fully gone away, but I feel like we’re learning to live with it. I could not have traveled this path as gracefully without you to hold my hand.
So, my love, think about me today, as I am thinking of you. I look forward to slow steamy kisses, looking into your eyes while we talk about passionate things, objectifying your gorgeous naked body, and cupping myself around you as we settle in to sleep. If you happen to awaken in the dark and you are filled with desire, well, you know where I sleep…