I am a big fan of masturbation. You gotta learn to be with yourself before you can share what brings you pleasure with another person, right? When Joel told me that he was interested in purchasing a Fleshlight I was entirely supportive and intensely curious.
I’ve helped him use the Fleshlight twice now, and it’s an interesting experience watching his face. I know that he has gone through a period of using it every day and that has helped him release tension and relax. It’s been beneficial to our relationship in that we’ve been able to explore our sexual connection without him bringing a sexual intensity that has, at times, felt intimidating to me.
In fact, Fleshlight seems to work so well for Joel that I asked him to write a review for WholeSexLife…
Masturbation made easy, a guest post by Joel
This all starts with a desire for masturbation. I used to masturbate daily, sometimes several times a day, but then things went downhill. Due to a variety of medical problems and medication side effects, my sex drive declined (it might also have to do with my age, but I’m choosing not to go there).
A positive attitude and working on my health did wonders for my libido. After a hiatus of several years, I was once again often feeling the urge to touch myself in an intimate fashion.
I had a few options – I could enlist my wonderful partner and wife to help, but our sexual relationship has shifted during the years that my libido was depressed. This meant that a lot of our sexual contact was unmapped territory, and I felt it was unfair to thrust into that new space without taking the time to make sure we were both on the same page.
I could look for a girlfriend outside of my marriage, a definite advantage to being polyamorous, but I am slow to meet people. Again, pouncing on a new relationship with a needy demand for sex seemed unfair and unbalanced from the start.
The third option was simply to take matters into my own hands more often, and the Internet was certainly well supplied with material to inspire me. If I went this route, I could take the pressure off of sex, which would free me to work on options one and two at a more leisurely pace. This seemed like a good idea all around.
I hadn’t used masturbatory aids much before other than pictures and videos, not even lube. I’ve certainly experimented with a number of different products and devices over the years. Evoë’s blog gives her access to some pretty amazing things, and I’ve been called upon to help test some of the more male oriented products. I now felt inspired to explore the available options more thoroughly. It took me a few weeks of looking to finally nerve up enough to mention all this to Evoë, but she was very positive in her support of masturbation.
I browsed some of the seedier places on the Internet and eBay looking for “sheaths” shaped like girls and other equally bizarre items (I admit that I occasionally have a taste for the odd, the strange, and even the perverse). Amidst all these explorations I remembered the Fleshlight, whose website embarrassed, aroused, and intrigued me in equal measures. I was particularly curious about the many options that are available.
Perusing the Fleshlight “Girls” section, there was… Stoya. She is an actual woman who has been a personal fantasy of mine for some time through Twitter and the web. I don’t remember exactly when I first found her, but I believe that it was one of those roundabout web explorations that start with one thing and lead to clicking on a link to another, and then another, etc… What most intrigues me about Stoya is not her smokin’ hot bod, but rather her biting social commentary, her fabulous feminism, and her knowledge of circus arts. Now this is a porn star that I can lust after. Could the Fleshlight bring her pussy to my cock?
I placed an order for “Stoya Destroya” and awaited her arrival with some trepidation. My new treasure came in a plain brown box which I unpacked with intense curiosity and anticipation.
There are two basic parts to a Fleshlight: the holder, and the fleshy tube itself. Out of its shell, the rubbery tube looks very odd indeed, like some sort of floppy, fleshy worm. One end of the one I ordered has a beautifully sculpted vaginal opening with Stoya’s signature in raised lettering right next to the opening. The other end has a much smaller circular opening with the name ‘Destroya’ stamped around the edge.
The cover is simple, high strength opalescent plastic, with a screw-on lid and bottom. I was a bit disturbed to find a bit of the plastic molding left on the outside of the case, but figured it was just a manufacturing defect. Once I scraped off this little extra tab, though, the case seemed otherwise blemish-free.
I was intrigued by the screw-on end, as I hadn’t known its function until I read the instructions. Coupled with the vents on the bottom of the cover, this cap can apparently be used to vary the amount of vacuum created and thus increase or decrease suction. The changes it makes seem pretty subtle, however— I haven’t noticed that adjusting the amount of suction makes much difference.
I had to wait several days for my first trial run. I wanted Evoë to be present for the device’s maiden voyage. Bedtime came and I got super nervous, not only because of the Fleshlight, but also with the prospect of masturbating in front of someone else – taking what is essentially a solo activity and giving it an audience.
Evoë helped me calm down and provided some nice water based lube and we were ready. I screwed the end cap all the way on for maximum suction, spread lube all over the copy of Stoya’s pussy and my still mostly flaccid penis. I was pleased to note that just like in real life, it was possible to partially enter the fake pussy even if I was not fully hard. Lube was essential here.
Through some manual manipulation and some Fleshlight fucking, my cock started to get hard. My mostly naked wife was also a great help.
The harder I got, the deeper I was able to penetrate into the Destroya, and I have to say that the feeling was amazing. The flesh had warmed up, and the lube made everything nice and slippery. I could just move the Fleshlight back and forth, but I found that the most pleasing sensation was for Evoë to hold the Fleshlight stationary so I could fuck it like a real pussy. Even after I bottomed out (when the molded pussy met the skin of my crotch), I found that I was able to get another inch or so of penetration due to the soft pillow-like material that the artificial pussy has been crafted from.
My climax came far too soon, with an explosive release that left me panting for breath. Just like normal, my cock was super sensitive post orgasm and sliding the Fleshlight off of me was an electrifying experience. There was a soft sucking sound as Stoya’s pussy slowly released my cock, and I was left feeling spent and a little weirded out, holding a disembodied pussy in my hands.
Clean up was quick and painless, simply a hot water rinse of all parts and an air dry. Once everything was dry I screwed on the cap and it once again became a non-descript giant opalescent flashlight looking thing.
I would definitely recommend the Fleshlight to anyone looking to enhance their masturbatory experience, not only because of the sensations it produces, but also because of the idea that a beautiful woman is providing you with a surrogate of her pussy. Or other orifice. In fact, I’ve found myself looking at the Fleshlight website again and thinking about getting another internal sleeve for my Fleshlight.
This time, I’d like to try a mouth.