Sep 252014

Sweet and RoughBook: Sweet & Rough:Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut
Editor: Sinclair Sexsmith
Publisher: Maverick Press
$7.99 digital book; epub, pdf, mobi (available now!)
$24.95 hardcover book (Nov 2014)

Sinclair Sexsmith is one of my favorite erotic writers, whose stories combine all of the things that are important to me: power and gender dynamics, intimacy, consent, kink, multidimensional characters, and believable plots. If anything, Sweet & Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut takes erotica to a new level for me, because it’s easier for me to identify with than most smut that I read.

As much as I enjoyed reading the book, it was even more of a pleasure to get to ask Mr. Sexsmith a few questions about the book…

All of your stories are written in first person and you are almost always packing. How important is having a cock to your masculinity?

Sinclair Sexsmith“It’s not that having a cock is important to my masculinity so much as it is important to my sexuality and sexual expression. For whatever reason, I’m very cock-centric, and much of my erotic play centers around penetration and reception. You might even say I have a penetration or a cock fetish. Interesting, coming from a dyke, huh? It’s a curious contradiction, to me, and one that has taken me a lot of deconstructing and reconstructing to make sense of.

Of course, masculinity is also important to my sexuality and sexual expression, so it isn’t that the masculinity doesn’t go hand-in-hand. But my cock isn’t so much about my masculine presentation as it is about playing with a lover’s body in ways that incorporate power, penetration, and energy. Since those are some of my most significant fetishes and kinks, and since strap-on cocks are a really excellent tool to play with all three of those, I tend to have an incredibly cock-centric sex life. Probably 9 times out of 10 that I have sex, I’m strapped on.”

I noticed that in pretty much all of these stories you integrate reading non-verbal cues as part of receiving consent. As a writer, how difficult is it to balance fantasy and enthusiastic consent?

“It’s so complicated! I am often in conflict with my role as a sexuality and BDSM educator and my role as someone who crafts dirty fantasy stories with the purpose of turning someone on and exploring erotic realms. Non-verbal cues are incredibly hard to teach about and talk about, because they are so easily misinterpreted. But what I love about writing is that you can show a character’s inner story and inner world really clearly, so you can show the conflict they feel about whether or not they got consent, or the very clear consent they are thinking even if their body language is the only cue.

The issue of consent and whether consent and ethics are clearly depicted in erotica is something I think about a lot, and try to play with consciously in my work. As I’ve been evolving as a writer and creator, I don’t think it’s as black and white as I previously thought it was, and I’m interested in exploring more of the nuance. (I refuse to add anything about “shades of grey.”)”

I can see many aspects of these stories that reflect what I know of you as a sexual person: gender play, power dynamics, sacred intimacy, and kink. What does it mean to you to write queer smut?

“Yes, absolutely—this book is really revealing, the closest thing to a diary that I’ve released. It’s been interesting how much vulnerability has come up, now that it is making the rounds and people are talking about the content! What does it mean to write queer smut … hmmm. I started because I have always been a writer, and because I was obsessing over reading “lesbian erotica” but most of it didn’t have the bite, the edge, that I was seeking. And, I started because I wanted to write as a way to explore my own fantasies and my own inner erotic world, in order to write myself into a better sex life. I gotta say: That worked. Incredibly well. Articulating my own fantasies and erotics made me more bold, more daring, and more able to go after what I wanted. So for me, writing queer smut means staying in touch with my erotic self, cultivating my own erotic desires, and prioritizing them in a variety of ways. When my erotic self dries up, there are so many consequences, and when I am deeply in touch, I am more creative and capable, and better able to act from places of love, strength, abundance, and vulnerability, rather than fear or scarcity. Writing erotica has been such an important way for me to come into my own power, kink, sexuality, desires, and deeper fuller self.”

Sinclair is right, this book is very intimate and revealing. This collection of stories is certainly extremely hot, but what I like best is the raw honesty at the heart of each story. It was easy for me to imagine myself in each character, to use each story as a starting point for my own fantasies. Perhaps the biggest compliment I can give this book is that, after reading, I am imagining where I would let Mr. Sexsmith take me!

May 302014
Full package

Full package (Evoë Thorne)

Last night I went to the hard hat opening for SEAF 2014. I’m super excited for the festival this year! There are several pieces that really caught my eye and I think it’s going to shape up to be one hellava amazingly sexy party. You should totally attend today, Saturday, or Sunday for brunch!

This is my 4th year involved as an visual and/or literary artist and I really feel like I’m coming into my own this year. (You can read about previous years here: 2011 and 20112013) I let Harold talk me into submitting a large format image. There is something about having my work on 36″ by 54″ canvas that makes me feel like a serious artist rather than a lucky amateur. I couldn’t breathe when I took it out of the box. I am learning to take up space and it feels good.


Waves (Evoë Thorne)

I am also proud of Joel for getting an image selected for the festival! And bravo to Harold for modeling in all three images. Not many people start their porn careers in their 60’s. Even our friend, David Steinberg, is selling a print of Harold and me in the festival store. I believe that all of these images were originally published on this site, but you’ll need to attend SEAF to get the full effect!

For the literary portion, I had two poems selected this year. One is my found poem, UR so SXY, and the other is the sestina my teen dared me to write:

Bad Habits

I need a cup of coffee almost as bad as I need you.
Bitter and dark or sweet as honey,
I miss the taste of you on my lips.
I want the rush of you in my body,
But with you gone, I have to settle for another cup,
And you’re not here to know.


Death from above (Joel Thorne)

If I stayed up all night, would you know?
I roam around the house thinking of you,
Fingers dancing round the edges of my cup
Remembering orgasms golden like honey,
And the comforting weight of your body.
Up late and alone, I touch my empty lips.

I pour whisky and bring it to my lips.
You don’t like it when I drink, I know,
But I need you like this burning in my body.
I’m all afire, desiring you.
You go down smoother than whisky, Honey,
And I’d rather have you in my cup.

Restlessly, I put down my cup,
Words to that song you hate on my lips.
Well I’m playing it loud now, Honey!
I can dance better than you know.
I would grind like this for you,
Bouncing, gyrating, and sweating on your body.

Why aren’t you here to satisfy my body?!
I hate being discarded like an empty paper cup.
I gave so much of my life to you.
My fingers find the pearl between my lips,
There are some things I still know.
One, is where to find honey.

And ohmygod the honey!
Pleasure ripples in waves through my body
Revealing mysteries I’m momentarily allowed to know
I pour coffee and whisky into the same cup
And bring a fucking cigarette to my lips
For a moment, I don’t even think of you

Then I realize – Honey, this is my cup,
My music, my pleasure, my body, my lips.
Perhaps my biggest bad habit was knowing you.



Photo by David Steinberg

So come celebrate erotic art and your own sexuality! Wear whatever makes you feel sexy. Enter the Shoe-down with your most outrageous footwear. Check out awesome installation art. Watch erotic films. Interact. Have fun. And check out my art!

Sep 142013

making loveI’m waiting to see if the new relationship energy (NRE) will fade for Harold and me. We’ve been together for six years and I still get hot when he walks into the room. We continue to stay open to each other emotionally. We still send each other mushy emails, IM’s, and texts throughout the day. We talk for hours, gazing longingly into each other’s eyes. We are increasingly more in love every day.

Most romantic and sexual relationships start with a surge of NRE. It’s that intoxicating rush that happens when you establish that you really like each other – the excitement and happiness that makes it possible to sleep for less than 4 hours a night and still function at work the next morning. It’s the happy space where you see all of the potential of a person. NRE can be exhilarating and is likely the mechanism of falling in love. (The best article I’ve ever seen about the chemical processes of NRE is in National Geographic, if you want to read more.)

going downThere are benefits to NRE. I am stronger and more willing to take risks or to push past my comfort zones because I am in love, both because I feel I have unwavering support and because my body is flooded with hormones that make stretching as a person feel good. We make love constantly, leaving me feeling relaxed, focused, and full of love for everyone around me. Every day I choose to be with Harold because I want him, not out of obligation or shared commitments. We simply desire each other body, mind, and spirit.

Rather than love making me blind to Harold’s faults, I find that his inner self unfolds at my touch. I can see all of the places where his energy sticks or snarls. Sometimes we collide, but often I see that his stuck places have nothing to do with me. I can hold him with love and shine my light for him to see as well. I know him well. It’s amazing to drop all presentation and know that I am loved for who I truly am, not who he wants me to be.

KissOne of the biggest challenges for us is being in a poly family. We both have partners whom we love very much. We don’t want our exuberance to hurt anyone’s feelings, but we don’t want to feel like we have to keep our feelings secret either. We’re walking a fine line. Our partners have been fairly tolerant of our passionate relationship because they both like to see us happy. I feel like the love we generate between us spills out, benefiting everyone.

Our sex has certainly flourished under the influence of NRE. We’ve gotten more efficient at giving each other pleasure over time, but never has making love gotten stale or routine. We constantly explore new territory, examining every dark crevice of our perverted brains. He makes me shameless. Literally. There isn’t anything I would hesitate to ask him for. I am never ashamed of my desires and never flinch at his. I want every bit of him.

We make love in every way, from rough and kinky to slow and sweet. We make out in public, intense lingering kisses. We make love while we cook dinner together. We don’t even touch, but that energy between us builds with erotic tension. He goes down on me under the covers, sweaty and wet with my juices while I writhe and try to stay silent. We drive each other wild until we can’t stand it and absolutely must fuck in the back of the car, or bent over a stool in the bathroom, or at the side of a hiking path. We role play and explore power dynamics. We’re animal together. Our sex life is everything I have ever wanted and more that I never dreamed.

making love slowlyEarly on in our relationship, I had a vision while we were making love. I saw a lotus blossom slowly start to unfold, revealing a core of golden light. This is me, and this is our love. I don’t know anything about tantra, but I think that the truth that Harold and I have discovered together is probably the same truth that mystics and lovers have known forever: it isn’t about the orgasm (although coming is powerful), it’s about letting go of the ego and opening to your partner in order to experience ecstatic unity.

New relationship energy is expansive. It expands the universe around the relationship. It seems to me that at some point people usually stop expanding and settle down. They let the relationship define their boundaries. It’s comfortable. It feels secure, but often the passion dies. Maybe it depends on what you want in a relationship. If you want marriage and children, you would likely stop when you got that. I’m older than that I guess. I want amazing sex and someone who sees me as a whole person, someone to dream with and explore the world with.

BlissI don’t want to ever stop expanding. I’ll take the ever-changing surprises of honesty, empowerment, and lust over the lure of stasis. I find my happiness being in the present. I don’t think this is NRE. I think this is the energy of our love together. We are always opening to love like a lotus to light.





Sinful Sunday

May 222013

Best Sex Writing 2013Book: “Best Sex Writing 2013
Edited by: Rachel Kramer Bussel
Foreword by: Dr. Carol Queen
Published by: Cleis Press
More information: Amazon or Goodreads


Cleis Press and Rachel Kramer Bussel always deliver quality writing on the topic of sex, and this year’s Best Sex Writing is no exception. This collection of 20 essays span a broad range of topics, writing styles, and voices that are all provocative. While a few stirred me sexually, largely this book challenged me to think more.

The point of Best Sex Writing is to bring together all of the most fascinating essays published in the past year. Since I read a lot about sex, some of these pieces were a reread for me, but most of them were fresh. I was surprised to see a brief reference to Harold in an essay about polyamory. Weird!

I enjoyed reading through this book, but I have to say the overall tenor was discouraging. Best Sex Life’s tagline is, “The state of today’s sexual culture.” I suppose that’s true, but I found the collection to be strangely flat and depressing, almost as though a fog obscured nearly every piece. You can’t write interesting things about sexuality without engaging the emotions, and I’m afraid that very few of these grabbed me. Several made me feel very negative about sexuality. I’m afraid that our culture is still far from pleasure positive.

Still, I had to share my favorites with Harold and we’ve engaged in a little He said/She said for you enjoyment…

Very Legal: Sex and Love in Retirement, by Alex Morris: A report on love and sex in an assisted living facility.

He said: I am getting old myself… wait, can that be? Yes, I’m coming up on 65. What strikes me about aging so far is how little the core of my sex life has changed in 50 years. Well, it’s true I can’t get a good hard-on any more without Viagra, and I don’t jerk off four or five times a week like I used to, but the overwhelming joy of reaching ecstasy and sharing intimacy is still there, just the way it always has been, at the center of my life.  Alex Morris writes about people in their 80’s and 90’s, people coming up on death who are living with the inevitable failing of their bodies, who seem to be finding the same thing… sex may get more difficult physically, but still has that vibrant emotional kick to it. The story makes me happy.

She said: How delightfully refreshing to be talking about ninety-year-olds’ relationships! These are all things that I’m not thinking about yet, so I really enjoy seeing that romantic interests and libido doesn’t die as one ages. In a way, the people discussed in this essay have more freedom to be honest with themselves and each other about what they want. I’ll totally be sneaking into Harold’s bed 30 years from now.

Baby Talk, by Rachel Kramer Bussel: A personal memoir about the author’s first experience with age play and being a “Mommy.”

He said: What happens when your lover asks you to treat him/her as a child in bed?  I’m a father, I adore my children, and I’ve always felt very protective of their personal boundaries. I’ve known too many people whose fathers let sexual desire leak onto their children explicitly or subliminally, causing lasting damage. I would never want to impose adult sexuality on any child. But then… my lover asks me to make love to her as if she’s 13 years old. Oh no, I couldn’t. But she shows me that it’s healing because of her past, it’s a kind of acceptance that would be precious to her. I understand, but… does this make me a pedophile? How real is it? Are there boundaries within our imagination? It’s not an easy place, truly. I’ve gone there though, and it was possible, and healing, and good. That’s what Bussel is writing about too.

She said: Having myself been confronted with a lover’s odd kinks spontaneously in the middle of sex play, I really commend Rachel for going with it and immediately seeing the potential. Age play can be such a minefield. My heart just opened up reading this account and her willingness to push her own boundaries. This is a very sweet essay, and a bit wistful over the outcome.

Ghosts: All My Men Are Dead, by Carol Queen: A love note to the men the author is mourning, as well as a coming of age story.

He said: While sudden death can tear a hole in the fabric of reality, lingering death eats away your heart. Carol Queen writes simply and beautifully about her friends and lovers who have fallen over the years to the plague of AIDS and related syndromes. It’s so hard to know what to do with death in our culture. As she says, “I think we are ashamed to die.” By celebrating their memory and honoring her own grief, Queen makes it easier to face the losses we have to deal with and the end we all come to.

She said: This is hands down, the best essay in this book. I read it with tears silently streaming down my face. Carol is so honest, so authentic. Talking about death could easily become manipulative or maudlin, but she doesn’t go there. It’s so easy to see myself in her writing. I was incredibly moved by her account of self discovery and personal evolution entwined with dying lovers and the character of the city she loves. Hauntingly beautiful.

Lost Boys, by Kristen Hinman: An exposé on the inflated numbers of underaged girls being sex trafficked, the numbers more likely to be real because they’re based on science, and how many boys in sex work fail to get aid at all.

He said: Sex work is like recreational drugs: criminalization and demonization blur all distinctions in a fog of myth, and create the very horrors people say they want to prevent. Hinman reports on the best studies of underage prostitution in the U.S., and makes clear that nearly half the young sex workers are boys, and only around 10% work through pimps. The kids don’t particularly like doing sex for money, but they like the money. What is clear is that their main exploitation is economic: no one will offer them any other work. And the worst of this is that horrendous trafficking by adults, often parents, in very young children is put in the same bucket as teenagers choosing to make money the only way they can find, by selling sexual services. The former is a devastating crime of violence, while the latter is a symptom of our society’s economic failure.

She said: I’ve been hearing some outrageous “statistics” lately about the 3 million underage girls being pimped out and it makes me angry. Don’t get me wrong, I know that sex trafficking happens and I want it stop, but this essay made it clear that many of the organizations set up to help rescue trafficked girls exist mostly to make money for themselves. It’s a lot of politics. They aren’t even trying to understand their demographic. I really appreciated this article because it was understated and let me come to my anger on my own.


As always, Best Sex Writing is a must read, if only to get a snapshot of the year in sexuality. This year, I came away with two main points, one personal and one a universal truth. Personally, I discovered that I really dislike the term “open marriage” to describe polyamory. It’s kinda like asking a pair of lesbians which one gets to be the man. It is using the rules of the cultural norm to define something totally outside of the rules. But, whatever. The most important thing I learned was that sexuality changes all the time throughout life. I find that very reassuring.

Dec 092012

My husband has been sending me sexy text messages that say things like, “your ass: succulent, creamy, dreamy, and wonderful” and, ” your entire body is a masterpiece.” It’s gotten me kind of worked up while he was away at work. This morning we finally had a chance to connect sexually in the shower. Then, before we went to spend family time decorating for the holidays, he decorated his favorite part of me and took this photo…

tinsel and ass


Wanna see some other sexy images? Click below.

Sinful Sunday

Nov 222012

I like to cook. Food is a fascinating artistic medium as well as a sensuous pleasure. I enjoy experimenting with taste, texture, and color. Baking is science and I want to experiment with all of the possibilities. Our family has a variety of dietary limitations so I am constantly challenged to find interesting solutions to traditional recipes. Thankfully, since I spend a lot of time in the kitchen, cooking with a partner gets me hot. All of the smelling and tasting and kissing goes right to my cunt. On more than one occasion we have ended up naked on the kitchen floor, rolling around covered in olive oil.

Yesterday I wanted to get a head start on my holiday preparations while the children were still at school by baking pumpkin pies. I also asked Blyss to help me with some sexy photos. Why not combine the two since the kitchen is loaded with erotic potential? This fun and hotness ensued…

 It started with the blender

The immersion blender is so phallic and full of vibration. It’s giving me ideas!

Licking the spatula

Just a taste. I like to lick.

I want to do dirty things with coconut milk

This coconut milk is so creamy. I just want…

Just a taste

The creamy milk covers my tongue and drips down my chest, warm and sweet.

It feels sensuous

It feels so sensuous to have the coconut milk run down my chin and between my breasts. I want more.

Coconut milk dripping off one breast

Coconut milk covers my breast and nipple, lusciously  dripping on my belly.

Milk down the back, ass, and thighs

I need to try out the sensation on my back. My cunt starts opening with the erotic flow of sweet liquid pouring over my ass. I haven’t had this much fun in a while.

Totally turned on

A silken sheen covers my body as I slide in the pooled milk. I long to be fucked.

Beyond turned on

I’m beyond turned on, in that place where I need release so bad. What can I do?

fucking the whisk

I’m embarrassed to be this intimate with a kitchen tool, but this wire whisk has a handle just perfect for fucking.

Wire whisk fucking

I clutch the whisk, driving it deeper toward my g-spot. I can’t believe how good it feels.

Satisfied at last

I am finally sated, covered head to toe in coconut milk and blissfully happy. And I have just enough time to mop the floor and take a shower before the children get home!

(Photos by Blyss Enns)

Sinful Sunday

Nov 172012

Evoë and HaroldMarried sex gets a bad rap. It’s common knowledge that the ecstatic new relationship energy fades over time, unresolved resentments build up, excitement over sharing new sexual fantasies fades. Married people eventually lead dull boring sex lives, right? No, it doesn’t have to be that way. Long term committed couples can have sex that is progressively more intimate and more exciting.

The catch is that it takes some work. It means owning your emotional baggage and being willing to help your partner through their stuff too. It becomes necessary to completely resolve every disagreement to the point of loving him or her to bits rather than shoving your feelings into the dark recesses of the collective basement of the relationship. At least that’s how it is for Harold and me.

We’ve been having sex with each other for over five years and it just keeps getting better. We fight a fair amount, but it’s mostly productive – meaning that we are able to reach a mutual resolution without any lingering resentments. We are also under a huge amount of stress, and yet our connection to each other continues to grow stronger. I can always tell the health of our relationship by the kind of sex that we have together.

Our last date is a good example. I had a crappy morning, but was in a decent place, but Harold was not. He was deeply sad, barely functional. I did my best to hold and comfort him. We talked a lot. Slowly we began to make love from that deep place Harold was in. We did our standard things, the sexual practices that we know we like and will be effective, without taking any risks or pushing any boundaries. Comfort sex. We know each other better than we know ourselves in these ways and while not exciting, it is nice and good to come together and get off. I am very thankful for this kind of sex, but I want a relationship where we sometimes go further.

Afterward, I think we both felt somewhat better and closer to each other. It gave me a chance to meditate and work through some deep issues that have been plaguing me. Harold was happy to hold the space for me and his presence gave me the safety I needed. My work immediately lightened the mood for us both. We were able to return to the family feeling renewed and more empowered.

We got to spend time with the children and our other partners, making dinner and relaxing, before settling into bed with a movie. Our favorite movies are foreign sex films and this was no exception. We found Chroniques sexuelles d’une famille d’aujourd’hui (Sexual Chronicles of a French Family) on Netflix. I think it’s maybe the best movie about sex I’ve ever seen. It shows how three generations of the same family handle their sexuality. The relationships are realistic and the characters are very sympathetic. The sex is explicit without showing much in the way of genitals, but it doesn’t pull any punches, this is very real. We thought that it was interesting, sweet, sexy, and inspiring.

We were so inspired, we started to make love again. We don’t often have sex more than once a day, but we were full of lust. Sexy movies can do that. I could feel the warmth flow from my cunt, up my chest, and spread. When I kissed Harold I felt like golden light was passing between us through our open mouths. My skin was alive to his touch. We were completely attuned to the energy we grew between us. Suddenly we were easily meeting sexual needs that we have spent months discussing but haven’t yet implemented in our sex life. It was fucking HOT.

This amazingness is made possible by the nature of our relationship. Because we have kept clear of resentments and had ongoing conversations about the things we want, we could just use the energy of a great sexy movie to Harold and Evoëlaunch into mind-blowing sex. It takes some practice to be able to follow the energy of the moment to fulfilling each other’s desires. I like to control every situation, but learning how to live in the moment has been incredibly rewarding.

Maybe someday we will lose this feeling of excitement, this thrill when we look at each other, this rush of lust when we are in each other’s arms. Maybe we will get to a point where we have only efficient, comforting sex with each other, but I doubt it. We value the sex and connection that we have together too much to screw it up. For us, this is what it means to be profoundly in love.

May 282012

Curvy GirlsBook: Curvy Girls
Editor: Rachel Kramer Bussel
Publisher: Seal Press, April 2012
Retail: $17.00

What’s the best way to spend Memorial Day weekend? Lounging about reading erotica, of course!

Having been a curvy girl since puberty, I appreciate seeing a whole book of erotica celebrating fuller figured women. I love lush ladies who are confident in their sexuality. Curvy Girls covers the broad expanse of curvy – from runner’s calves, to carrying a little extra weight in all the right places, to a few weeks postpartum, to huge asses. I think most women can find something here to identify with.

It is reassuring to read sexy stories about people who seem real. The strength of this book is also it’s weakness: most of these stories feature women who are insecure about some aspect of their bodies. While they often use sex to work through those issues by the end of the story, I got tired of reading about how they didn’t feel lovable or how they hated a particular part of their body. It was never out of place in context, but collectively I wanted at least the fantasy of seamless sex, without insecurities. Yet, seeing all of the vulnerability that goes into sex was a huge turn on. I guess what it comes down to, for me, is that this anthology does a fantastic job. I just wish that our culture supported women of all shapes and sizes.

I am seeing a shift, with books like this, Tumblrs that focus on curves, and fat-positive porn. Rachel Kramer Bussel has done a fantastic job of bringing together a collection of erotic tales that leaves no doubt that curvy girls have some smokin’ hot sex.

Let me tell you just a little bit about a few of my favorites:

Before the Autumn Queen by Angela Caperton is the steamy tale of a museum docent who seduces the patron who loves a certain painting as much as she does. The painting is as much a character in the story as the two of them. I love how rich the story and the environment is and when they have sex in the museum it’s deliciously transgressive. Gorgeous and haunting!

Decadence by Satia Welsh features a handsome chef who falls for a sexy confident woman who relishes every bite that he cooks. Lots of sensuous eating gives way to a wild romp around his restaurant. This story is unapologetic and takes no prisoners. Makes me totally wet.

Passing the Time by Gwen Masters is a different take, with the main character wondering what’s up with her boyfriend’s sudden lack of interest in her. Deciding to put that aside for a time, she makes love to herself, getting herself off with dildos and fantasy. Different and emotionally rich.

What Girls Are Made Of by Evan Mora caught my attention because of the voice of the story. It’s one of three girl-on-girl adventures in this book. In very descriptive language, the main character describes her perfect woman, “a dapper butch… with a little substance to her,” and the kind of seduction and sex they would have. I want to do it as a performance piece. It’s brilliant.

In the Early Morning Light by Kristina Wright is intensely touching in it’s realism, telling of a woman 9 weeks postpartum who just wants to sleep. Her husband begins to make love to her, and despite her desire to be left alone, her body starts to respond. I adore the exquisite blending of worlds here, returning to sexuality after journeying into motherhood. Beautifully done.

Curvy Girls is a good read, quality writing and lots of super sexy curves engaged in a variety of sex acts. If you want to get in on this action you can purchase the book from Amazon.


Related Posts:

Apr 042012

Say PleaseBook: Say Please
Editor: Sinclair Sexsmith
Publisher: Cleis Press, April 2012
Retail: $14.95

Sinclair Sexsmith, the editor of the new Say Please anthology of lesbian BDSM erotica, is calling their book release tour the DIRTY QUEER SEX TOUR, and I’m so happy to be participating! I wasn’t sure what to expect from Say Please, but I was delighted by the wide swathe of kink that this literary erotica cut through my imagination. I’m always interested in the myriad ways that gender expresses itself and Say Please is full of variety. The BDSM quotient zoomed through all of my favorites (except CBT, for obvious reasons) and right into areas that pushed my comfort levels. In other words, it was so hot to read that I had to get myself off.

Because it turned me on so much, I showed some of my favorite stories from Say Please to Harold and asked him to share his thoughts and feelings on them. For reference, we are polyamorous – partnered to each other and married to others. Depending on the day, I identify as pansexual, queer, or hard femme. Harold is still looking for the right boy (which is to say, mostly straight, but wistful). It was hard to pick just three stories, but I did. Here are our opinions of a few of the fantastic stories in this book:

First Ride, by Wendi Kali

Some of my favorite kinks – A motorcycle, chain bondage, flogging, hard packing, and strap-on sex! I’m delighted. It’s hot, hot, hot! I love this story because it’s a study in opposites – the hard, experienced butch and the soft, inexperienced femme. I like how all of the subtext of their conversations is evident in the story. It feels very intimate for the reader.

This story (and many of the others) reminded me how much of gender is in our heads. This butch is a gentleman indeed, as well as a hot, skillful top. And the sweet, innocent (!) young woman who wants more experience… we play these roles because it all works so well. The echoes that I heard here which I miss in corresponding straight narratives, though, are about the vulnerabilities we all feel, but  that sexual conventions too often mask.

Unworthy As I Am, by Elizabeth Thorne

So romantic! Within a few paragraphs the main character is comparing herself to a Shakespearean heroine, which I find very sexy. This story portrays submission and masochism beautifully, and I’m happy to read a story that deals with needle play too. I like the symbolism of the invasive nature of needles in a book about lesbian sex – just another non-standard way to penetrate. And collaring is the BDSM equivalent of the engagement ring. This story is so sweet.

This story was the most intensely, viscerally sexy for me, no doubt because I’ve found myself in a similar place of passionate surrender. Is it hard for me as a somewhat het guy to identify entirely with a gay woman? Um, no!  And the story unfolded gracefully, with just the right balance of contextual detail. A tour de force!

A Slap in the Face, by Rachel Kramer Bussel

I think this was the most intense story in the anthology, and that’s saying a lot because they are all pretty amazing. Partly it held me riveted because I find slapping somewhat taboo and therefore fascinating, partly I found the character development seductive. Yes, it’s a short story, but I was charmed by the emotional progression. I appreciate the safeword explanation and appreciate that there is not a strap-on used in this story, although it’s implied that there will soon be some strap-on play. It makes me want to follow these two women home!

This powerful story put me in a place I often end up reading edgy BDSM erotica: wondering about the origins of the kink. I love and understand the heat, the almost unbearable turn-on that just the right mix of fear and pain can arouse, but I also sense roots winding back to some childhood trauma no child deserves. I salute the healing power of hot and loving kink, but it scares me, still, about what it is to be human.

Want to hear more about Sinclair Sexsmith’s Say Please, Lesbian BDSM Erotica DIRTY QUEER SEX TOUR? Check out these stops on the physical and virtual tour!

April 1      Say Please release party in SF
April 1 Viviane
April 3 Rachel Kramer Bussel
April 4 Giselle Renard
April 5 Evoë Thorne
April 6 Liz
April 9 Roma Mafia
April 10 Official release date! Sinclair
April 11 Dede / deviantdyke
April 12 Helena Swan
April 13 Kim Herbel
April 13   Say Please release party in NYC
April 14 Lily Lloyd
April 16 Lyzanne
April 17 Lula Lisbon
April 18 Ali Oh
April 19 Jameson
April 21 Charlie Ninja
April 22    Say Please release party in Boston
April 22 Meredith Guy
April 23 Wendi Kali
April 24 Lolita Wolf
April 25 Audrey at Babeland
April 26 Seth B
April 27 Danika
April 28 DL King
April 29 Kiki
April 30 Dilo Keith
April 30 Xan West
May 2 Say Please release party in Seattle

Mar 102012

Tristan Taorminos Expert Guide to PeggingTristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Pegging, Strap-on Anal Sex for Couples, from Vivid Ed is an amazingly sexy video. Combining sex ed and porn is a model that works brilliantly and Tristan Taormino has built her career on creating books and videos that are both highly effective sex education and steaming hot porn. Expert Guide to Pegging is the finest example of her work I’ve seen to date, in large part because of the contributions of Dylan Ryan & Wolf Hudson, Jada Fire & Christian, and Jiz Lee & Mickey Mod.

If you are familiar with Tristan Taormino’s work, you know that she is famous for all things ass related, and pegging fits right in. At the beginning of the video, Tristan explains that the term pegging comes from a discussion of Dan Savage with his readers about what best to call it when a woman uses a strap-on to have anal sex with a man. The general consensus settled on “pegging,” and it has stuck. In fact, the term has now broadened to include a range of related activities also covered in this video – all the ways a woman can play with a man’s ass. Not just the strap-ons, also all the warm-up!

The first portion of the video is educational. Tristan Taormino is indeed expert in her explanations of what pegging is, how to talk to your partner about his feelings and desires, anatomy (including perineum, sphincter, rectum, and the prostate), hygiene, lube, warm-up for anal play, anal toys, strap-on harnesses & dildos, and positions. This segment is chock full of valuable information, illustrated with clips from the three couples featured, both discussing and demonstrating the salient points.

Dylan and Wolf kissingCare is given to emphasize that enjoying anal sex does not make you gay. I was also interested to learn that some men lose their erection during anal play because relaxing everything, relaxes everything, but that they are still enjoying the sensations. I think it’s also good to note that enemas are okay, but all you really need are good bowel habits, go to the bathroom before sex, and wash your ass and genitals when you bathe (which I hope you do anyway). Using lots and lots of lube was also stressed.

Warm-up is discussed quite a bit because, as Jada Fire explains, you don’t want to just shove it in there. Those kinds of experiences make people not like anal play. Instead, these experts recommend anilingus, also known as rimming, as well as massage of the opening.  After that, they tried inserting one finger, followed by another if that was well received.

The next suggestion was for anal toys. A variety are available, including beads, plugs, and prostate toys. We also get to see harnesses and dildos. There is a thorough discussion of how to select the harness/dildo combination that is best for you and your partner, explaining all of the various options. The final thing I gleaned was that the man should relax, relax, relax – although I assume that could also apply to a woman.

Jada and ChristianAfter all that wisdom, we get to see the couples in action. First they talk about pegging and then they have sex. They are not simply showing anal techniques; they are incorporating anal play into love-making. It’s the full sexual experience. I adore the intense chemistry each pair has. Their sex is hot, and a pleasure to watch (I didn’t fast-forward through any of it).

Dylan Ryan and Wolf Hudson are cute and energetic. It’s obvious that Wolf feels some trepidation, but Dylan is so present with him. Dylan Ryan is my new role-model on how to ask for what you want during sex. She is sweet and sexy and grounded.

Jada Fire and Christian tickle me because of Christian’s obvious enthusiasm for anal. I want to bend him over. He’s this big shaved buff guy and Jada is very lush and girlie, with long manicured nails. Christian just seems so into everything Jada does and she looks amused and turned on.

Mickey sitting on JizI have a crush on genderqueer Jiz Lee. Jiz is gorgeous and perfectly paired with Mickey Mod. The two of them give each other long erotic looks that make my pussy wet. Mickey’s butt-less underwear are scrumptious. I am so happy that Jiz and Mickey do some gender play. They finally end up in the shower with some mutual masturbation and Jiz spurting. Yay!

The menu pathways of Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Pegging are excellent. Everything is laid out in a logical and accessible way. The Special Features include some stuff from Vivid, and a short on safer sex, an enema how-to, a strap-on guide, and information about solo prostate stimulation. It’s all excellent. Honestly, it might be my favorite of the porn videos that I’ve watched in the past year. I’m totally feeling inspired to do more pegging. Thanks Tristan!


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