Feb 222014
 

Bad habitsI need a cup of coffee almost as bad as I need you.
Bitter and dark or sweet as honey,
I miss the taste of you on my lips.
I want the rush of you in my body,
But with you gone, I have to settle for another cup,
And you’re not here to know.

If I stayed up all night, would you know?
I roam around the house thinking of you,
Fingers dancing round the edges of my cup
Remembering orgasms golden like honey,
And the comforting weight of your body.
Up late and alone, I touch my empty lips.

I pour whisky and bring it to my lips.
You don’t like it when I drink, I know,
But I need you like this burning in my body.
I’m all afire, desiring you.
You go down smoother than whisky, Honey,
And I’d rather have you in my cup.

Restlessly, I put down my cup,
Words to that song you hate on my lips.
Well I’m playing it loud now, Honey!
I can dance better than you know.
I would grind like this for you,
Bouncing, gyrating, and sweating on your body.

Why aren’t you here to satisfy my body?!
I hate being discarded like an empty paper cup.
I gave so much of my life to you.
My fingers find the pearl between my lips,
There are some things I still know.
One, is where to find honey.

And ohmygod the honey!
Pleasure ripples in waves through my body
Revealing mysteries I’m momentarily allowed to know
I pour coffee and whisky into the same cup
And bring a fucking cigarette to my lips
For a moment, I don’t even think of you

Then I realize – Honey, this is my cup,
My music, my pleasure, my body, my lips.
Perhaps my biggest bad habit was knowing you.

 

Dec 072013
 

Ready for something fun and a little different?

When I was a kid, one of my favorite things was trying to decipher the puzzles inside beer bottle caps when my parents had a party. These puzzles, called rebus,  were like a corny code that got easier to crack the more you practiced. I loved it and lately I’ve been thinking about those caps again, wondering how to recapture the magic.

With the help of my lovely partner, Joel, I have created our own WholeSexLife rebus puzzles. They are the grown up version of the bottle cap puzzles I loved. See if you can figure them out, then click through to check your answers!

  1. WholeSexLife rebus 1
  2.  WholeSexLife rebus 5
  3. WholeSexLife rebus 2
  4.  WholeSexLife rebus 4
  5.  WholeSexLife rebus 3

 

Show the other sinful folk your love by clicking below!

Sinful Sunday

Nov 112013
 

You want to what?I get a lot of correspondence around WholeSexLife and my various social media profiles – some very sweet and some quite strange. I hear from people of all ages from all over the world. These communications roughly break down into several categories: business related, complimentary, looking for education, looking to hook up, and looking for a Top. Contacting someone you don’t know and asking questions that are intimate takes bravery. Even when I don’t appreciate the message, I respect the effort to reach out.

I decided to take some of the messages I’ve received over the past couple of years and create found poetry. I didn’t use the business related or foreign language items (that’s fodder for a whole new poem). Here is the result, a kind of meta-message, comprised wholly of actual messages I have received, without any corrections for spelling or grammer.

 

UR so SXY

Helo
Hello.
Hi a warm morning to you
What are you up to?
Did you have a nice day???

Hey whats up
woooow u r beautifullll
you are looking gorgeous,i am single are you
I love your hot pics! You are amazing! You make me throb so hard!
Do you like to share pics?
You do have a gorgeous smile :)
I would love to lick ur pussy.. U real so hot
who are you ? Dracula..

hi how r u
I want to learn abt sex can u help me??
how do u get the person u are in a relationship with to understand that u are into bondage?
Do you like to wrestle ?
Are you good at it?
i bet you would be simply wild in a catfight.
So I got to ask does size matter? what is the consensus among your girlfriends?
But ,is it lesbo pleasurable ? Didn’t u like cock ?
Plz..i want guidance 4m u….

 

Sorry if my massage may offend you.
Hey, so it’s a little awkward to bring up
I was wondering if u were able to help others with acting out fantasies
You seem very experienced in this lifestyle
I wish I could live with u and be ur sex slave
To be a plaything for you, or someone like you. . .heaven.)
I definitely enjoy a dominant lady who knows how to take the reins
Would love to suffer for you and worship every little part of your divine body.
you can abuse my nipples any time you want…
take charge and own my balls for as often as you are in a playful mood.
I ache to obey you. Please let me know if you feel so inclined. :)
At your feet Mistress
Please Mistress… I beg you
Mistress?

 

I am not a creepy stalker
Write back with your email address so that I will tell you more about myself.
I found your e-mail address and straight away wanted to write you.
I developed an interest in you. send me information material or souvenirs.
I looked at your website and I got depressed from my lack of intimacy and all.
I join ur website but i need one to stay with me im so needy
i want, i need!
I am only expressing my desires, not being a stalker.

 

hello Lady…thanks for the add…
hi , just read ur profile , and u dont want meaningless sex . just thought i check it out
attractive man looking to fulfill fantasies of being with older (please no offense) woman
I am a closet bisexual man.
look in my profile and if you think that we have a chance please text me something
We should chat though, regardless if I can think of something to say or not.
I am looking for friends only, at this time, just as you are.
Got really horny imagining myself in the place of the fluffy bunny!
Cup size gets you noticed? Well mine holds 18 oz
I too am sex crazed..
you seem really nifty–and possibly we’ve met before?
It seems like we have a lot in common. I love food and sex-positivity
I would like to make a friend request, mostly cause your interesting.
Like your Tumblr. Thanks.

 

You might be looking for someone like me…
I don’t know if I’m exactly what you are looking for, but if you got to know me, you would like me…in more ways than one…
Does that sound like what you might be looking for, hmm? If so, I’m ready
you look cute
could i get to know more of you
If you ever want someone to masturbate with on that Friday night, hit me up!
apart from Mrs I seem to be a balanced person and consistent.
We are looking for the elusive unicorn.
I’d also be very interested in posing with a woman, clothed or not.
I hope you were not under the impression I wished for anything more than just to chat with you.
Wanna meet
i wonder if you can arrange a little favor to me….kisses..
Like a ladies’ tea that includes ballbusting or some such.
I assure you this is a fully fledged genuine request.

 

And if you ever need some one to listen to you or a shoulder to cry on,
Hope to hear from you soon,
as always, an admiring fan of your blog,
message or massage me,
Take care,

P.S. You have really cute 2nd & 3rd photos !!!
P.P.S. Your husband is really a lucky man.

 

Feb 142013
 
orgy of love

“Love is not singular except in syllable.” ~Marvin Taylor

This is a real illustration of our polycule’s love. We’re missing a member in this photo, but her love is still with us, entwined like our limbs. Love is not singular, I am blessed many, many times over.

 

To see other entries in this week’s Valentine’s competition, click below…

Sinful Sunday

Jun 212012
 

David Steinberg with Harold in backgroundPhotography lights were crowding the bathroom, focused on the bathtub where water was running. Harold was already naked. I was asking our photographer, the talented David Steinberg about his boundaries: Was there anything he was uncomfortable with us doing? (I had already checked with Harold and he was fine with anything but scat and age play.) David just didn’t want us to drag him into the tub with his photography gear. Awesome! That left a lot of things open.

For some reason I was more nervous about this photo shoot than I normally would be. Usually Harold and I are just messing around with the camera, but sometimes we’ve done more serious shoots. It wasn’t David. He’s very sweet and wise, always professional, easygoing. I love working with David and I consider him a friend. I trust him.

I think that I was more nervous this time around because of my current emotional state. Sex is not always easy right now. If it were just Harold and I having a date, I wouldn’t be anxious because if I freaked out or just couldn’t manage to be in my sexy place, he would hold me, or we would go for a walk, or something. There’s more pressure to perform when someone is there with a camera, even if the intention is for us to do what we would normally do, ignoring David and his camera as much as possible.

I’m actually pretty good at that – creating a bubble around Harold and myself and filtering out everything else. It helps that our intense sexual energy tends to occupy my mind. Sure, at one point I wondered if I was taking too long to come and would Harold and David get bored? It was a quick thought, easily overcome. I had another moment when Harold left the room for a few minutes and I was in the bathtub alone with David taking pictures. I felt uneasy briefly, and then got myself off to keep the energy going.

I did encounter a time when I felt uncomfortable and a little freaked out. Harold had been topping me a bit and flogging me. I loved the sensation of the flogging, but something just wasn’t right. We stopped and he held me – me lying on top of him in a position that I find soothing. We murmured at each other while David fussed with his lights.  It afforded us a kind of privacy to work things out. I know that David would have left the room for us or that I could have stopped right there if I wanted. That made it possible for me to stay in the moment. Instead, I shifted our play toward something that I particularly love, squirting.

After we were all done, David mentioned that our lovemaking style was that of sustaining low-level intensity in order to build to a super intense finish. I think it must be fascinating to get to observe so many different people making love intimately. What an amazing job!

While it was a lot of fun to do, now I’m feeling fragile. Harold and I did many of the things that are usual for our sex life, but we did them MORE. A good scene can be exhausting. Also, I have the sense that I put myself out there rather more than I am used to at the moment. Time for some aftercare and self indulgence.

I won’t know for a while how the photos came out. David shoots film rather than digital. It’s all a grand experiment that I’m thrilled to be a part of. It’s exciting waiting for the outcome – kinda like waiting for Santa.

Related posts:
  • Coming together
  • Sixty-nine
  • Rut
  • Turning childhood abuse
  • Banking foreplay
  • Deep in the night
Dec 012011
 

Self-reflection Today marks 18 months of blogging since my first post on June 1st, 2010. This is also my 300th post!

When I first agreed to blog my sex life, I didn’t have any idea what I was getting into, I just did it, without thinking about how it would impact my life. It took me a while to find my voice. I still like to experiment with different formats and approaches. While sex has always been a big part of my life, it’s been interesting to frame my life in terms of sex. It’s made me broaden my definition of sex.

I find I’m sometimes tempted to do something sexually just because it would make a good blog post, but that doesn’t make a huge difference because I’m also just adventurous. Many times my sex dates include testing out products for review. My partners know that anything is fair game for the blog. But my life is by no means all sex. I am the mother of 5 children, and you wouldn’t believe (or maybe you would) how many posts I write with Blues Clues or Barney in the background.

It’s been a great trip – and I plan to keep going! I want to share with you some of my favorite experiences so far…

I am most proud of my gender series. I learned so much interviewing Colleen, David, Jim, Kyle, and Aleksa. I’m still learning about gender all of the time, especially my own. I wrote about my experience packing a cock in My Inner Boy. I’ve worked harder on this series than anything else I’ve done for the blog and it’s been totally worth it in terms of what I got out of it – especially the friends I made.

Hedgehog bondage in "More Love"Making erotic videos is something that I’d like to get better at. (I have plans!) Of the ones we’ve already made, a few stand out for me. The Rainy Afternoon video is precious to me because of the energy between Harold and me. We had a lot of technical difficulties, so the result is very “art house,” but I was pleased with it; a genuine connection is harder to capture than anything. I also have to mention the More Love video that we made for all the poly people on Valentine’s Day (and for a fan who wanted to see some plushy sex). Harold and I should both be embarrassed by our acting, but it was sooooo fun to make. I like being so totally silly. I was disappointed that it didn’t provoke more of a reaction.

We got a huge reaction over our Figging Lab Experiment and the Figging Lab Results. Our labs are written rather tongue-in-cheek, but people took them pretty seriously. I am disappointed that I made up such a beautiful data sheet, but that no one to date has returned a completed experiment to me. That’s too bad! Another post discusses the mathematics of Viagra. Did you know that Viagra leads to math?

Some of my posts have been deeply emotional and reveal much of my inner workings. You can see my journey over time working through sex abuse issues and wanting to be topped in The Opposite of Love, Sex in the ShadowOkay on the OutsideWalking through the Darkness, Fear and Arousal, Magic Words, and Deep Dark Fantasies.

Flower in HawaiiMy trip to Hawaii was big for me. I got to spend time with my girlfriend, Erika, and I met a bunch of really fabulous people. All of the foliage in Hawaii looks erotic.

Another pivotal moment for me was the first close up picture of my cunt I’d ever seen. I wrote about it in Ready for my Close Up, talking about all of my conflicting feelings.

It’s interesting to read Is Thin the Only Sexy? written almost a year ago. I talk about my body image after seeing nude pictures of myself and realizing that I was fat. I decided that fat is still sexy. It totally is. But I also realize that I’ve lost 35 pounds since then. I feel much more comfortable in my body now, but I still look at pictures of myself and feel unhappy.

Some of my favorite posts have to do with being part of a family. My children drew pictures for Secret Life of a Mommy. In Love Song for my Metamour I got to express all of the wonderful things I feel about sharing my life with Melanie. A Poly Jolly Christmas talks about how blessed I feel to have my large poly family together over the holidays.

Finally, I do a lot of reviews, but a few things have really changed my life. One of them is the book, I’ll Show You Mine, which features gorgeous photographs of vulvas. Another is Buck Angel’s Sexing the Transman, a documentary/porn flick that taught me a ton about transmen. Also, working with the photographer, David Steinberg, over two photo sessions was deeply moving.

Photo by David Steinberg, 2011

Photo by David Steinberg, 2011

As you can see, blogging has had a huge impact on my life. These posts represent my highs and lows, ins and outs of the last 18 months. I want to thank all of our readers for your thoughtful comments and constant support. Your participation means so much to me!

Nov 012011
 

Crystal Delights Minx Plug with TailWinning a contest is fun, but winning a cool kinky sex toy is even better! I recently won one of Crystal Delights‘ giveaways. I didn’t know what they were going to send me, but it turns out it was a gorgeous glass butt plug with a real fur tail attached! I feel like such a lucky girl! I love this tail  – just don’t call me a furry!

Furries are a community of people into anthropomorphic animals with human characteristics. Some furries also eroticize anthropomorphic animals and explore the sexual aspects of furridom. An animal tail butt plug lends itself perfectly to this type of play. I immediately want to put the tail in and romp around in the woods! I think that makes me a wild grrrl. It’s an interesting idea, but not what I’m into. Or is it?

Sure, Harold and I fought over who got to wear it first. It’s awesome. I’m only partially inclined to stick things in my ass and I thought it was cool. I can wag my tail! And it was incredibly comfortable. The glass is totally smooth and a great shape. It took me a couple of minutes to ease the plug into my ass, but it never felt bad. In fact, it was hardly noticeable once in place.

I did go out into the woods, in the cold, cold rain, to dance around. Then I curled up in front of the fire and snoozed, my tail wrapped around me. It didn’t feel sexual, exactly. It felt sensual. Primal and animal. Then I let Harold have a turn. That was a turn on – seeing Harold with a tail! It looks so real.

Evoe with tailNeither of us had any problems inserting, wearing, or removing the Minx Plug. I did worry about how to clean my new tail. The pyrex plug washes right up with soap and water, but what about the fur? I found these instructions on the Crystal Delights website:

  1. Give it a good home. Be sure it is not exposed to bright light while being stored, or isn’t kept near a heat source.  Make sure it has room to breath and isn’t being crushed by other objects.  Fur likes cold, hates heat. They don’t like friction. They don’t like chemicals. They like space.
  2. Don’t cover your Crystal Minx tail with a bag. Your tail prefers air circulation, to prevent its leather side from drying.  If you absolutely must keep it in a bag for a short period of time, be sure it is in a loosely woven cloth bag.
  3. Accessorize wisely. Don’t pin jewelry on your tail, and avoid sharp necklaces and bracelets that could snag your tail.
  4. Avoid insecticides, mothproofing and other chemicals around your tail, including perfume or hairspray directly on your tail. Perfume contains alcohol, which can dry it out. Once a perfume gets into your tail, including cedar from a cedar chest it could be there to stay.  Oils in the leather of your tail can become rancid and smell.
  5. If your tail gets wet, don’t panic.  Most tails handle snow and light rain with ease.  Shake it out and hang it to dry in a well ventilated room.  Resist the temptation to speed the drying process by using a hair dryer or hanging near a heat source.  Your tail does not like heat. After it dries, shake it again.  Do not comb or brush it. If its hairs are a little bristly, simply smooth them with your hand.
  6. Do not store your tail in a freezer…bad idea.
  7. Spot clean a stain at once with a cleaning solution and a rag. Pat the area with the rag rather than stroking it to avoid removing guard hairs.  Hang to dry after the stain is removed.
  8. Bring back the shine of the fur by drying oat bran or cornmeal and laying it in the fur. These substances soak up dirt and grime. Gently shake out the cornmeal and bran and shake the tail to loosen the rest of the substances.

Based on how much care my new tail needs and the inability to sterilize, I am unlikely to share it with anyone but Harold. It’s really a one person sex toy.

Harold with a tailI’m really taken by this plug with tail. I’ve never tried anything like it, so I don’t have anything to compare it to, but I think it’s just amazing. I never would have thought to purchase a tail, which makes me doubly grateful for the opportunity to try this one out. Also, I have been very impressed with Crystal Delights quality and customer service so far. Winning this tail has been a great experience from one end to the other!

The only drawback to the tail, from my perspective, is that a real tail would come out at my tailbone. My rectum is too low. Even as I type this, I’m cracking up – no, I’m not a furry. I don’t care about how realistic it looks, right? Anyway, I don’t know what you would do to make a butt plug look like it came out higher. It’s not really a flaw, just my observation.

Bottom line: This beautifully made plug with tail makes me bounce with glee!

Grade: A

May 222011
 

I’ve decided to spend most of today in bed. I’ve earned it with my wild weekend and I have to remind myself that I’m still healing from surgery 4 days ago. I’d like to say that I’m having a crazy sexy time, but most of that is going on in my mind, not my body, as I process through the incredible amount of input I’ve gotten over the past two days.

Evoë reading her poemMostly, it’s been SEAF – the Seattle Erotic Art Festival. What an amazing experience! I feel very lucky to have participated this year, both as an artist and as an attendee. I’m blown away with how engaging this year’s festival is. There is the visual art – fantastic artists like David Steinberg, Michael Rosen, Patti Beadles, Charles Davis, Mina Bast, and Jeff Hengst. And there was way more, those are just a few that particularly caught my attention. Then there was the literary art. I got to do my first poetry reading. People asked me to sign their copy of the book. And the people I heard read are all so good. I was particularly impressed with (and maybe crushing on a little) Kyle Jones. It’s so fulfilling to be surrounded by people who not only think a lot about sex, but craft their thoughts into beautiful concepts, wielding words like hammers or paintbrushes. I can feel it go right through me.

All of this would have been enough to have me reeling for days, but there was more. Like the Queeriodic Table, modeled after the periodic table and full of good words to describe any point on the Queer spectrum. I found a new word for myself (I love new words!): I am a futch. Like femme-butch. It can mean both at once, or alternating. I can’t decide if I like it better than boi. I suppose I can use both!

Evoë signing the SEAF anthologyAnd La Figa was there, covering gorgeous bodies with luscious food and handing out samples. A couple danced the tango amidst the art. There were boxes mixed in with the visual art that featured scents. There were so many great displays and decorations, so much to take in. Perhaps my favorite joy was seeing the wild outfits people wore to feel sexy, as wildly divergent as their sexual predilections.  It was all there – from street hooker to drag queen to kilt to The Matrix, to practically naked, to elegant, to metallic, to feathers, to robotic, to rave – everyone was showing off in all their splendor. It was very difficult for me to not touch or put it in my mouth.

Outside of SEAF I had a few notable  experiences. Harold and I had sex in front of about 30 people who all paid admission. Okay. Truthfully, we were models for a workshop that David Steinberg taught about taking erotic photographs of couples. It was an interesting experience. The workshop itself was a lot of useful information about the kind of photography I want to be doing. Then the demo part happened and Harold and I made love in the center of a big room with people all around. It was easier than it sounds. I mostly closed my eyes and shut out everything but Harold. I was occasionally aware of David taking pictures, but mostly not. I had a few momentary thoughts of sucking in my gut to look good, but I quickly let that go. The most important thing was to be real in my love for Harold. I’ll be curious how the photos come out!

Joel rocking out with his cock outI also had a weird experience where I offered to publicly support a new non-profit organization that fights for the rights of sex workers, only to be told no thanks because I’m only a sexuality blogger, not a sex worker. I thought the whole point of working toward rights for sex workers is to make people aware that not all sex workers are street walkers. People make a living through sex in many different ways and they are all subject to discrimination. Sorry SWAAY.org, I think you’re missing the point – I hope you get it figured out.

It’s just been an incredible weekend. I’ve met so many fascinating people, many of whom I hope to work with in the near future. And the weekend’s not over yet – this evening I’ll get out of bed to go see Susie Bright with Melanie and Harold. No rest for the wicked!

May 152011
 

Fairy weddingToday is the first anniversary of my public commitment ceremony with Harold, where Joel and Melanie officiated. I’m sentimental and romantic. I like to acknowledge and celebrate everything. I’m not the kind of girl who expects gifts on her anniversary and feels hurt if he doesn’t remember. I just like looking back at the highlights and seeing where the path has led from that place. It’s a way of remembering the good things and measuring my progress.

Today’s anniversary got me thinking about the other important dates in my relationship with Harold. (I have a whole other set of dates I celebrate with Joel!) It amuses me to see how long Harold and I have been circling around each other. Around six years ago, Joel started inserting Harold into the fantasies he wove for me when we made love! Here are our mushy milestones…

October 1, 2005 – First time Harold brought me to orgasm. Harold and I had been flirting heavily and making out every chance we got. On this date, we were at a party at Harold and Melanie’s house and everyone was outside at the bonfire. Harold and I ended up in the kitchen alone together. We started kissing. I was pressed up against the kitchen counter. He pulled up my skirt and started rubbing my clit through my panties. It only took a few minutes for me to come, rather loudly. A friend walk through the kitchen right about that time, which made me laugh. It was fabulous.

Evoë in the sunApril 29, 2006 – First time I did CBT on Harold. We were at a sex party and Harold handed me one of his ball whackers. I blanched when he explained that he wanted me to hit him in the balls. I hadn’t known he was into having his balls hit. We hadn’t ever had that discussion. I told him that I couldn’t do it because I couldn’t hurt someone else, but I didn’t let go of the mallet. Harold slowly talked me through it and let me try a few slow hits. When Joel came to ask for my attention, I growled at him because I was so enthralled by CBT. That mallet is still my favorite CBT tool.

August 19, 2006 – First time Harold went down on me. Harold was talking about wanting to do more erotic photography so I volunteered to model. It was a beautiful warm sunny day and we took pictures in Harold’s back yard. It took me a little bit to warm up, but by the time we were in his treehouse everything was flowing. I was all naked and stretched out on a bench when Harold put down the camera and asked to lick my pussy. I was so surprised because I was in work mode, but honestly it was the start of how we work and make love now.

August 31, 2007 – Beginning of our committed relationship. This was the first time we actually were alone together for several hours in order to make love. We had all of the necessary discussions with our spouses. In fact, Melanie came home early from work to watch the kids when my babysitter fell through. My memory is that it was good, but not fantastic – that was the second time we had sex, when it was so amazing that using protection totally escaped us.

Harold and Evoë in FranceMarch 27, 2008 – Day our child was conceived. We were staying in the French countryside outside of Switzerland. We spent hours of that trip fucking in our little garret, but this particular time I knew it was right. We had been using condoms, but on this day Harold paused and we looked at each other. We both knew that we would make a baby. We were nervous because I had miscarried a few months before and we didn’t want the pain of that. So in this very long moment, we looked at each other and we told ourselves that we were sure. And we fucked without a condom.

Slow dancing during laborDecember 17, 2008 – Day our child was born. Her birth did not go as planned. Our home birth stretched past 24 hours of labor and became a hospital birth. It was many hours of nightmare for me, but we were all united together, the four of us as a team. In the wee morning hours our girl was born, changing everything. I had thought that I was giving Harold and Melanie something they wanted, but the truth was more profound and is still revealing itself to me. This is the day that our family was truly born.

August 31, 2009 – Harold and I made commitments to each other privately. We were on a backpacking trip at one of the prettiest places in the world, Goldmyer Hot Springs. While sitting in the hot springs, with the hummingbirds whirring and the river rushing, we pledged our love and our lives to each other. It was powerful and intense and changed our relationship. The seeds of WholeSexLife were also sown on this trip.

Evoë and Harold waiting at weddingMay 15, 2010 – Harold and I celebrated our commitment in a public ceremony. With 70 or 80 of our closest friends, we created a magical wedding. We dressed in fey finery and created a grove of sparkling trees in the backyard. It was fun and beautiful and we had Melanie and Joel to help us, as well as all seven of our children. It was important to me that we acknowledge our relationship publicly because I want everything that we would have if we were monogamous. It lets everyone see how normal it is and gives everyone permission to celebrate love. What can be better than that?

See, I get very sentimental about my relationships. I’m amazed at how many of my special dates mark something sexual! Time seems to go by so quickly, but I like to remember. I like to look forward as well, to all of the firsts and life events yet to come. It seems my life is made of joy.

 

May 132011
 

Evoë with her masterpiece for SEAFThe Seattle Erotic Art Festival is only a week away! I’m pretty excited about SEAF because I finally submitted my work this year and they chose to feature one of my poems and one of my photographs. This is the first time I’ve ever had my visual art in a show. It’s been a learning experience, but I can’t wait to see the results. It’s awesome to see my work professionally printed and framed. The poem has been published in an anthology for the occasion and is available to purchase online or at SEAF itself. I believe I’ll also be reading it aloud on Friday and Saturday evenings at the Festival. But I’ll share it here as well…

Deeper

I struggle because I like the feel of the fight.
Show me your strength, Baby.
Prove that you are worthy of my surrender.
Bind me to your will.
Hold me fast,
And you’ll know when you hold my heart.

Open my eyes.
Show me Innana’s footsteps in the dust of my soul,
Lead me deeper.
I’ll dance naked to your drum.
Take me down
To the simple beat of leather on flesh,
To a rhythm of sensation.
Breath in, breath out.
I want to feel you
In the throb of every heartbeat
And the sting of every stroke.
The only path to peace I know is pain.

Open me up with your heat
Petal by petal like a dewy rose
In the bright light of a summer morning.
Strip me bare.
Make me scream.
Baby, the only refuge I need,
Is you.

Give me waves,
Deep oceanic currents,
To crest and ride above the swirling debris of my mind
And crash against the rocky shores.
Let me break against the force of you,
Then draw me in with your undertow.
Take me deeper.

Open the door
To the quiet places inside.
Show me your world,
Knowing beyond words
The mysteries of you.
Make us one.

When I am breathless and begging,
Burning with desire,
Dionysus shivering and shattered,
Baby, let me be your temple
And your tempest.
Enter and find haven in the circle of my arms.
Let me rock you over and over
‘Til the storm subsides.

And then I’ll take you deeper…

I’ve been working on a duct-tape corset to wear to the event and contemplating wearing red chain one of the evenings. After all, I have an artist’s reputation to uphold. I think it’s going to be a sexy, fabulous, amazing, good time. I hope to see you there!