Jan 112014
 

Tip of the tongueIt’s so easy to take something for granted. Like the tip of your tongue. I never fully appreciated how awesome my tongue is until a few weeks ago, when I had some dental work done and the tip of my tongue never stopped being numb. It’s just the end on the left side, but I’m going crazy.

I guess this happens sometimes – some damage to the lingual nerve occurs accidentally during the numbing shots for routine fillings. I’m harder to get numb than most people, maybe my nerves run differently, I don’t know. It is supposed to get better as the damaged part regenerates. Nerves are slow to heal. I am not patient. I want my tongue back.

It feels weird and tingly all the time, sort of similar to when I’ve scalded my tongue on something that’s too hot. Only it’s been going on for nearly a month, leaving me hyper-aware of the tip of my tongue all of the time. This problem with my tongue is affecting me in several important areas: speaking, eating, and kissing.

I find it hard to talk. It feels so strange. I don’t think anyone notices but I feel self-conscious, like I am speaking with a mouth full of cotton balls. I keep scraping my tongue on my teeth or biting my cheek. Articulation is frustrating. Since expressing myself is pretty important, feeling speech-impaired is getting to me.

I normally enjoy eating rather immensely. Food is a sensual pleasure. Now, not only is it physically more challenging to eat on that side of my mouth, my taste buds are also affected. SO sad!

Kissing is by far my most keenly felt loss. How can I explore my lover’s body with my mouth if I can’t feel anything with my tongue? How can I flick the tip of my tongue across sensitive areas? How can we make out, our tongues darting in and out of each other’s mouths, if my tongue feels dead?

I’m whinging. All in all, things are not so bad. Numb tongue is a minor discomfort. It could be so much worse. People don’t even notice that there’s a problem, I bet.  The damage to my tongue is unlikely to be permanent. I just have to wait. And take my vitamins. And try not to accidentally bite my tongue, lip, or cheeks.

Patience is not my strength. I need distraction.

Nov 012013
 

Beautiful morningA few days ago Harold (my partner in life, love, and hare-brained scheming) turned 65.  He’s not much for celebrating, but we wanted to do something special. Of course we wanted to make love, but what else? We couldn’t think of just the right thing until the day before. I don’t remember now, how tattoos came up. Initially it was sort of a dare or a jest, then we started talking about tattoos as a form of submission to each other – how cool it would be to channel the energy of pain and excitement into sexual energy.

What if I gave my pain to him while I was being marked by his symbol? What if he actually brought me to orgasm while I was being tattooed? We were intrigued by the possibilities, but neither of us was sure there was a permanent mark we were willing to take on. We had feverish conversations throughout the eve of his birthday. Optimistically I made us an appointment.

The next morning we got together early. I wanted to shower and spend some time connecting, so I started up some Janis Joplin and both of us squeezed into a shower clearly made for one. I adore hot water and slick soapy skin. Things were starting to heat up.

With his cock hard in my hand, I asked Harold what he wanted sexually. Like normal, he temporized, telling me to just go with what I felt was right. I’ve been pushing him more to think about and vocalize the things he desires, so I didn’t let him off the hook.

Going downHe began to talk about me punishing him somehow. I was in an excited sexy place, so it took me a few minutes to realize that the energy had changed between us. It stopped feeling sexy. I immediately centered myself and opened up to Harold. I sat him down on the toilet seat and straddled him, wrapping my arms around him. I could feel some pain from his childhood there – something that I had triggered when we fought  last week. We talked through it until it felt okay for us both. We do this kind of thing a lot and it makes for much better sex.

We walked down to the cabin in the glorious morning sunshine, wearing only shoes and coats. The chill air on my thighs and the thrill of being naked outdoors started to make me wet. There was already a fire going in the cabin. We proceeded to have some of the hottest sex we’ve had in a long time. He went down on me until I came. I strung him up in cuffs and did wicked things to his nipples and balls. I pushed him more than I ever have before and we both reached new heights.

IMG_3613When neither of us could wait another second, I bent over in front of him and let him fuck me from behind, his arms still suspended above his head. This is one of my favorite positions. I bent over the bed, where I had all of my tools spread out. He pounded into me. I rocked forward with each thrust, my breath coming out in harsh gasps, escalating to full throated moans, followed shortly by Harold’s ecstatic bellows.

Evidently my head was bumping my phone in the final throes of Harold’s birthday sex and Siri heard our vocalizations. Her voice surprised us, “I do not understand ‘who, who, who, who.’ I could search the Internet for you.” I laughed hysterically when I figured out what was going on.

From there we drove to to get tattoos, anticipation and anxiety sharing equal space. We knew what we wanted but we weren’t sure where. We talked through the positives and negatives of every possible location. Eventually we went with what felt right for each of us.

Harold and his tattooHarold went first. You have to understand that he’s never wanted a tattoo before. The fact that he celebrated turning 65 by getting his first tattoo is very inspirational to me. I think he enjoyed the process. He got spacey in a charming way, holding my hand. Afterwards, he was proud and blissed out. I love him so much.

This was not my first dance, but I was shocked by how intense the pain was in the tender flesh of my upper stomach. It got better over time, but initially there was no way that I could have sexualized that sensation. I’m just not a masochist. What I did do, over and over, was send the energy to Harold, giving him my pain, taking his mark. He held my hand and touched my face.

After, we were so high on endorphins. I felt amazing. We had so much fun.

We went home to my darling husband, who had prepared an incredible and gorgeous conch and squid ceviche just for Harold. Joel had even managed to find Harold’s favorite alcoholic beverage, Punt è Mes, which is rare in these parts. (Have I mentioned that sometimes it is unbelievably awesome to have two partners who care about each other?) The children had all made birthday cards and gotten him flowers. More glowy happiness!

Heart and delta tattooHarold spent some time talking with his wife and I put the kids to bed. We fell into each other’s arms and the softness of bed. Tired happiness gave way to gentle kisses. deep probing kisses became grinding gyrations. Without any thought we were making love again. Happy birthday Baby and many more…

Oct 012013
 

Wrapped in a sheetHave you wondered what it would feel like to make love for hours on end? Could you take sex to such a sacred level that everything you do together is about sustained attraction and pleasure? Could you open your heart and let your partner flow through you?

We had 40 hours alone together in an alpine chalet. We made love for every minute of it, so happy to share company, so enraptured by each other’s pleasure, that everything we did was infused with love. Every time we are together we create a bond that goes deeper.

We made love for 40 hours, holed up in a tiny rundown a-frame. I said “made love”, not fucked, although we did lots of fucking. No, I mean we created love between us. We slept wrapped in each other’s arms, breathing in the scent of our sweat on each other’s skin. We slept in blissful golden safety.

When we woke in the morning, our desire peaked. The river rushed by our window and we simply merged – his mouth driving me wild, fingers inside me, my orgasm stretching out, taking his proud erection in my mouth.  We paused as he entered me. Is this what we wanted? We had all day…

Almost thereBut I’m all for taking pleasure in the moment. We never know what will come. No regrets, fuck now and hope fore more later. We fucked and the sweetness built between us. He filled me with his jism.

For 40 hours we made love with every action. We nibbled on finger foods, drank orange juice and coffee. I feel loved when I am fed. He shows love by providing for me. Food is such a sensual joy when we take time to enjoy it.

I meditated on the bed, feeling his presence strong beside me. I spiraled deep inside myself, seeing everything laid out before me. Anchored by his love, I healed parts of me that had been broken. Stretched out beside his warm body, I experienced a clarity that is often elusive. When I opened my eyes to his smile, I knew he could feel it too.

We cuddled in the hot tub, rain pouring down, but the mountains gorgeous around us. I couldn’t keep my fingers from his skin. I watched his lips when he talked, needing to kiss them.

We surrounded ourselves in music, filling the small space with rhythms and lyrics that conjured up our past, times before we were together and since our lives have slowly grown together. Sometimes the music felt like it was my whole being and sometimes it was the backdrop of our conversation. We danced.

Harold made upI laid him out in front of the gas fireplace. Naked in a nest of blankets and pillows on the floor, I sat on his hips and made up his face. Touching a lover’s face is one of the most intimate things I can imagine and I loved making him my art. I was conscious of my cunt moist against his semi-erect cock, but I was intent on applying eyeliner. He never looks effeminate in make-up, it’s more that his fey nature shines through.

Talking seamlessly moved into oral sex and back. I hovered on the edge of orgasm. We fucked in spurts, laced with making out and kinky bits. I spanked him with a hairbrush, but it was my soft caresses that made him cry. We made love before and after eating, in and out of the hot tub, all over the cabin. Always, we stopped short of coming, letting our energy build.

We tumbled into bed, a bit sore, yet still full of need. A storm raged outside and the power went out, plunging us into total darkness. I felt afraid and slept holding his hand, a flashlight clutched in the other. There was a kind of isolation in that darkness, like being wrapped in a cocoon, but in some way we were still making love. It was just the two of us, far away from the rest of the world.

In the morning, he pampered me – an array of breakfast delights, my vibrator, and kisses all over. I finally found release with the help of his hands and it was incredibly sweet. I took over and spent some time focused on his body. It’s such a gift to have him give himself to me like that.

End of the weekendWe talked more in the hot tub. He broke through some wall I didn’t know was there. One moment we were drying off and the next I was crouched on the floor sobbing. He wrapped his whole body around me and held me while grief thundered out of me. I dripped snot into his hair.

We cleaned up and left. It wasn’t nearly enough, it’s never enough, but we so desperately need these times to connect with each other. We had 40 hours together in a run-down a-frame and we made every second count. What I know is that every second always counts. I want to make love every moment because I don’t know how much time we’ll have together in this world, but the love we make is real and will stay with me forever.

 

Sep 142013
 

making loveI’m waiting to see if the new relationship energy (NRE) will fade for Harold and me. We’ve been together for six years and I still get hot when he walks into the room. We continue to stay open to each other emotionally. We still send each other mushy emails, IM’s, and texts throughout the day. We talk for hours, gazing longingly into each other’s eyes. We are increasingly more in love every day.

Most romantic and sexual relationships start with a surge of NRE. It’s that intoxicating rush that happens when you establish that you really like each other – the excitement and happiness that makes it possible to sleep for less than 4 hours a night and still function at work the next morning. It’s the happy space where you see all of the potential of a person. NRE can be exhilarating and is likely the mechanism of falling in love. (The best article I’ve ever seen about the chemical processes of NRE is in National Geographic, if you want to read more.)

going downThere are benefits to NRE. I am stronger and more willing to take risks or to push past my comfort zones because I am in love, both because I feel I have unwavering support and because my body is flooded with hormones that make stretching as a person feel good. We make love constantly, leaving me feeling relaxed, focused, and full of love for everyone around me. Every day I choose to be with Harold because I want him, not out of obligation or shared commitments. We simply desire each other body, mind, and spirit.

Rather than love making me blind to Harold’s faults, I find that his inner self unfolds at my touch. I can see all of the places where his energy sticks or snarls. Sometimes we collide, but often I see that his stuck places have nothing to do with me. I can hold him with love and shine my light for him to see as well. I know him well. It’s amazing to drop all presentation and know that I am loved for who I truly am, not who he wants me to be.

KissOne of the biggest challenges for us is being in a poly family. We both have partners whom we love very much. We don’t want our exuberance to hurt anyone’s feelings, but we don’t want to feel like we have to keep our feelings secret either. We’re walking a fine line. Our partners have been fairly tolerant of our passionate relationship because they both like to see us happy. I feel like the love we generate between us spills out, benefiting everyone.

Our sex has certainly flourished under the influence of NRE. We’ve gotten more efficient at giving each other pleasure over time, but never has making love gotten stale or routine. We constantly explore new territory, examining every dark crevice of our perverted brains. He makes me shameless. Literally. There isn’t anything I would hesitate to ask him for. I am never ashamed of my desires and never flinch at his. I want every bit of him.

We make love in every way, from rough and kinky to slow and sweet. We make out in public, intense lingering kisses. We make love while we cook dinner together. We don’t even touch, but that energy between us builds with erotic tension. He goes down on me under the covers, sweaty and wet with my juices while I writhe and try to stay silent. We drive each other wild until we can’t stand it and absolutely must fuck in the back of the car, or bent over a stool in the bathroom, or at the side of a hiking path. We role play and explore power dynamics. We’re animal together. Our sex life is everything I have ever wanted and more that I never dreamed.

making love slowlyEarly on in our relationship, I had a vision while we were making love. I saw a lotus blossom slowly start to unfold, revealing a core of golden light. This is me, and this is our love. I don’t know anything about tantra, but I think that the truth that Harold and I have discovered together is probably the same truth that mystics and lovers have known forever: it isn’t about the orgasm (although coming is powerful), it’s about letting go of the ego and opening to your partner in order to experience ecstatic unity.

New relationship energy is expansive. It expands the universe around the relationship. It seems to me that at some point people usually stop expanding and settle down. They let the relationship define their boundaries. It’s comfortable. It feels secure, but often the passion dies. Maybe it depends on what you want in a relationship. If you want marriage and children, you would likely stop when you got that. I’m older than that I guess. I want amazing sex and someone who sees me as a whole person, someone to dream with and explore the world with.

BlissI don’t want to ever stop expanding. I’ll take the ever-changing surprises of honesty, empowerment, and lust over the lure of stasis. I find my happiness being in the present. I don’t think this is NRE. I think this is the energy of our love together. We are always opening to love like a lotus to light.

 

 

 

 

Sinful Sunday

Jun 292013
 

Going in for a kiss

He holds my face in his hands and my heart leaps up. I close my eyes, letting go of control, melting into him. The strength of his arms creates a bubble of safety. We are meant to be together like this – bodies responsive, muscles balanced between hard and yielding, our embrace igniting mutual desire. We breathe each other’s breath, slow and steady, one, two, three times.

He slowly brings us together. Our lips brush ever so softly. His tongue tickles my upper lip, making me shiver. I press my mouth firm against his. We open to each other, tongues darting in and out.

There is no time but now. Now is all time.

We kiss.

A kiss

Who else is getting it on? Click below to see!

Sinful Sunday

Jun 262013
 

Evoe and Joel getting intimateI’ve finally figured out what is more intimate and intense than making love with one of my partners – making love with both of my partners at once over a long period of time! Today I am sore in places I previously was not aware of having muscles. Today I tingle and twinge and shiver in remembrance of our time together, but I feel satisfied. I have amazing men in my life, lovers who know every inch of me, inside and out. I feel accepted, loved, and set free to soar.

When we set out, I wasn’t sure it was going to work. It was our first time with three of us going away together. 24 hours in a cabin could be heaven or it might be a trap if things blow up. With our busy lives, kids, and everything, it wasn’t easy to find the time to run away together. We’ve had occasional dates, an afternoon, but not enough time to really relax and talk. This was our chance to sync up.

We work well together. From grocery shopping together, to unloading the car and getting settled, we operated as a team. There was a little bit of awkwardness – like that moment when everything was done and we sat there looking at each other, wondering what to do next. Luckily we were in a beautiful place, in a cabin next to the river, with a hot tub and a king-sized bed. It didn’t take us long to get naked. And start taking photos.

Joel and Harold snugglingWe quickly discovered how nice it is to have three people, because when two people are engaged in some kind of activity, the third person can take pictures. I also really appreciated Joel taking photos because he’s so much of an artist and I rarely get the chance to have him involved. At first I played model self consciously, unsure of our surroundings, but as the evening progressed our sex play got kinkier and I started to ignore the camera.

We did talk a lot, working through things that have been bothering us, but each emotional revelation brought us closer to each other, often inspiring a round of sexual activity. Harold especially is prone to spasms of, “I love you soooo much!” followed by oral sex. It’s a very pleasurable way to work through things that might otherwise be too painful. I felt inspired and supported by their love, making it easier to release the stress and pain that builds up over time. Sandwiched between my Loves, I could cry and they could kiss everything better.

Joel surprised me by being vulnerable in sexual way, which I can’t remember seeing in the 13 years we’ve been together. Maybe in the first couple of years. but not for a long time. Shyly at first, then more clearly so I couldn’t mistake it, he asked me to explore anal with him. Each step of the way he made his consent clear, but he was opening up to me, letting me take him. I cherish his trust in me. It was a beautiful, deeply erotic pleasure to explore him at his request.

PeggingAfter that we spent time outside, under the clear night sky, beside the fierce river, the heat of the fire warming our flesh. When the cold got to our toes, we climbed into the hot tub, where I watched the guys make out and gazed at the stars. I felt soothed and at peace for the first time in about a month. Seeing Joel and Harold be physically intimate lifted some weight I didn’t know I was carrying. The don’t exactly turn each other on, but they do love each other a lot. It matters.

When we went inside, it was Harold’s turn to feel sad and vulnerable. I took him in hand, trying to find the right combination of loving touch and firm punishment. I spread him across my lap and delivered a good spanking, pausing from time to time to give his balls attention. I really get off on spanking and it helped to bring Harold back into alignment with me. We both reached a point where we couldn’t take it any more and had to fuck. We changed positions all over the bed, with Joel giving an assist here and there, before finally settling into an exhausted sleep all together.

Evoe going down on Harold while Joel takes picturesIn the morning we gathered in the sunroom to drink coffee, eat breakfast, and discuss world events. There’s a lot of comfort to be had in easy camaraderie, sharing a simple meal, having the luxury to meet each other’s eyes and just know that we’re thinking the same thing. I woke up with a new sense of optimism.

We spent more time in the hot tub, sharing business plans. I went in to shower and masturbate. Joel took pictures, his lust building. When he couldn’t stand it, we all three went upstairs and fucked in a flurry of limbs, tongues, and vibrators. My nipples never lacked attention. I was amazed to realize that both of my men seem to be turned on by watching me have sex with someone else. Both are willing to go down on me after the other has come inside me, when I am messy. I love them both so much.

Everything is kind of a blur now – a kaleidoscope of pleasure, sex, and love. I can’t explain what happened. Yes, it was all about sex, but the sex was just the language we used to connect to each other. It was a kind of magic. I think we must each glow with goodness. We make a pretty awesome threesome.

Jan 092013
 

Evoë readingIs it possible to have too much sex?

My brain and my sex drive say no way, but my body would like to object. I’ve been trying to strike a balance between the two, finding new and more creative ways to gratify my desire for sex, while giving my more delicate bits a rest. I’m a cheerful mess.

The muscles in my thighs and shoulders are sore – the result of some aerobic fucking. My clitoris is hot and throbbing. Masturbation and vibrator use has quite worn it out. Despite my attempts to stop pushing the button, sometimes the need has simply overcome my good intentions. Experiencing a little bit of a stinging sensation last night convinced me to stick with penetration. All the area of my mons is bruised from too much pressure and impact. There is a dull ache in my lower abdomen, presumably from repeated thrusting deep inside my cunt. My breasts feel overly full, nipples relaying an ecstatic thrill with every random graze of touch.

It actually makes me happy to be aware of my body this way. Sometimes my lust builds on itself, with my heightened awareness of my physical responses turning me on even more. For example, driving a distance home after rough sex and being doubly aroused by the seam of my jeans rubbing across my clit reminds me that I am a highly sexual being who needs release. It’s a cycle that winds me up to great peaks of pleasure.

Maintaining a constant (even low grade) level of arousal can be a lot of fun. Harold and I spent about 24 hours before our last date engaging in fantasy, making out, and a tiny bit of heavy petting. We did our best to inflame passion in each other. He offered to go down on me in a parking lot, but I wasn’t that far gone. I prefer my exhibitionism to be consensual for everyone.

The morning of our date I took a long luxurious bath, reading erotica and chatting with Harold over IM. For the first time in ages I got myself off with my fingers. Then I carefully chose my clothing to fit my mood and the fantasy we had been discussing. Everything helped to set the stage for our time together.

When we made it down to the cabin, I had some idea of taking photos, but we were both too excited. My cunt was soaking wet. I was breathless with anticipation. One kiss led to a big open mouth, tongue thrusting make out session. With every step we took, we fell further down the rabbit hole. Like dominos, each action inevitably brought us to the next, elevating our desire to a firery fierceness. We wrung every bit of pleasure out of that afternoon.

Letting the intensity die down a bit after that, I was able to listen to my body complain about being used so hard. I paid attention. I put antibiotic ointment on my clit because it stung like a fingernail scratch. I took cranberry supplements to stave off any chance of bladder infection from so much oral sex. I used a boric acid capsule in my cunt to avoid a yeast infection from penetration, even though Harold used gloves for digital manipulation. I take care of myself.

Our connection didn’t totally die. When we climbed into bed and fell into each other’s arms I felt the lust surge back up again. I wanted this man, wanted to hold him inside me, wanted to thrust into his soul. He was hard almost immediately and I was ready to go without any foreplay. We fucked for a second time that day, lush and lusting. When we were done I used the vibrator to come again.

butterflyI’m still going through my day feeling mildly aroused. Despite various pangs, I masturbated in the shower this morning. I am walking a knife’s edge between maintaining physical comfort and fulfilling physical desire. If my mind or emotions ever tell me to stop, I will. Sometimes this much intensity makes me feel uncomfortable. Occasionally, frustration over lack of fulfillment makes me break down.

Is this sex addiction? I don’t think such a thing exists. Can you be addicted to love? Or air? Everyone needs sex. It’s true that some people are prone to obsessive behavior around sex. People tend to make the same mistakes over and over, hoping for a better outcome, but addiction? My behavior during these times doesn’t hurt anyone and isn’t out of control. It’s more like living in a favorite erotic novel.

Too much sex? No, not yet enough for me.

Dec 022012
 

Evoë asleepHe says that he doesn’t like to have sex in the morning. He can’t get hard, he says, when his blood sugar is low, let alone muster the energy to come. The morning is my favorite time. I am relaxed, languid with warmth and sleep. Desire flows easily in my body; I feel safe and cherished. He wants to get things done while he is fresh. I want to twine my arms and legs around him, kiss him slowly, sensuously. I fantasize about getting sweaty under the sheets while the morning light shines on us.

This morning he came to me after he had been working for a couple hours, just as the light gathered outside my windows. He snuggled in beside me, faces close enough to draw each other’s breath. I burrowed into him, sleepily enjoying his nearness. We talked, about everything and nothing, simply sharing space, until my hand found his cock.

It wasn’t intentional, me feeling him up. My hands seem to wander his body independent of thought, but we both noticed that I was caressing his penis and balls through his jeans. I unbuckled his belt and unzipped for better access. I discovered that I could get just the head of his cock in my mouth. This seemed to drive him crazy. He was quick to pull down his pants and his boxers after that.

I felt like there was a snake inside me, coiled and deceptively still, waiting to strike. Or the warm glow of a bed of coals awaiting a breath of air to flower into full flame. His fingers slowly circling my clitoris and pinching my nipples sent heat surging through me. I took the whole of his erect cock into my mouth, flicking the tip with my tongue every time I drew back. The liquid tingle in my cunt increased and I had to lay back.

Looking in his eyes, I covered my palm with lube and stroked him while he teased me. I squirmed and groaned, wanting to be penetrated. His cock was so hard that the skin had no give as a slid up and down it’s length with my hand. I could tell that he was getting close to orgasm when he jumped up to take his pants the rest of the way off.

I rolled onto my stomach, lifting my ass up, wanting so badly to be fucked like that. He obliged, letting me help guide him into my cunt. His motions were gentle at first as we found the angle that worked best and settled into a good rhythm. Soon he was pounding into me, my face pressed into the bed. My back ached from being arched in that awkward position, but I didn’t care because it felt so perfect. His cock hit just the right spot inside me.

Our building passion brought us right up to the edge where we hovered for a moment, gasping and moaning, before exploding into a shared orgasm. I lost all sense of self in that moment, a beautiful perfect moment of total union, my body clasped underneath his. Then we were laughing and kissing.

Being a sensitive and caring partner, he immediately found the vibrator and slid his fingers into me. You can’t come too many times, right?  This is my default, no-fail, way to orgasm. If I’ve come a few times already, I’m likely to squirt with him caressing my g-spot. We make love in a lot of different ways, but this just always feels amazing, especially when he adds in nipple stimulation. I think I came in about 60 seconds.

I love morning sex.

Maybe he can have sex in the morning, he says, maybe he can come. (Maybe it’s just my influence.)

Nov 172012
 

Evoë and HaroldMarried sex gets a bad rap. It’s common knowledge that the ecstatic new relationship energy fades over time, unresolved resentments build up, excitement over sharing new sexual fantasies fades. Married people eventually lead dull boring sex lives, right? No, it doesn’t have to be that way. Long term committed couples can have sex that is progressively more intimate and more exciting.

The catch is that it takes some work. It means owning your emotional baggage and being willing to help your partner through their stuff too. It becomes necessary to completely resolve every disagreement to the point of loving him or her to bits rather than shoving your feelings into the dark recesses of the collective basement of the relationship. At least that’s how it is for Harold and me.

We’ve been having sex with each other for over five years and it just keeps getting better. We fight a fair amount, but it’s mostly productive – meaning that we are able to reach a mutual resolution without any lingering resentments. We are also under a huge amount of stress, and yet our connection to each other continues to grow stronger. I can always tell the health of our relationship by the kind of sex that we have together.

Our last date is a good example. I had a crappy morning, but was in a decent place, but Harold was not. He was deeply sad, barely functional. I did my best to hold and comfort him. We talked a lot. Slowly we began to make love from that deep place Harold was in. We did our standard things, the sexual practices that we know we like and will be effective, without taking any risks or pushing any boundaries. Comfort sex. We know each other better than we know ourselves in these ways and while not exciting, it is nice and good to come together and get off. I am very thankful for this kind of sex, but I want a relationship where we sometimes go further.

Afterward, I think we both felt somewhat better and closer to each other. It gave me a chance to meditate and work through some deep issues that have been plaguing me. Harold was happy to hold the space for me and his presence gave me the safety I needed. My work immediately lightened the mood for us both. We were able to return to the family feeling renewed and more empowered.

We got to spend time with the children and our other partners, making dinner and relaxing, before settling into bed with a movie. Our favorite movies are foreign sex films and this was no exception. We found Chroniques sexuelles d’une famille d’aujourd’hui (Sexual Chronicles of a French Family) on Netflix. I think it’s maybe the best movie about sex I’ve ever seen. It shows how three generations of the same family handle their sexuality. The relationships are realistic and the characters are very sympathetic. The sex is explicit without showing much in the way of genitals, but it doesn’t pull any punches, this is very real. We thought that it was interesting, sweet, sexy, and inspiring.

We were so inspired, we started to make love again. We don’t often have sex more than once a day, but we were full of lust. Sexy movies can do that. I could feel the warmth flow from my cunt, up my chest, and spread. When I kissed Harold I felt like golden light was passing between us through our open mouths. My skin was alive to his touch. We were completely attuned to the energy we grew between us. Suddenly we were easily meeting sexual needs that we have spent months discussing but haven’t yet implemented in our sex life. It was fucking HOT.

This amazingness is made possible by the nature of our relationship. Because we have kept clear of resentments and had ongoing conversations about the things we want, we could just use the energy of a great sexy movie to Harold and Evoëlaunch into mind-blowing sex. It takes some practice to be able to follow the energy of the moment to fulfilling each other’s desires. I like to control every situation, but learning how to live in the moment has been incredibly rewarding.

Maybe someday we will lose this feeling of excitement, this thrill when we look at each other, this rush of lust when we are in each other’s arms. Maybe we will get to a point where we have only efficient, comforting sex with each other, but I doubt it. We value the sex and connection that we have together too much to screw it up. For us, this is what it means to be profoundly in love.

Nov 112012
 

Eroticism is that emotion laden pause right after an intense kiss. You know, that moment when you pull back a few inches and savor the sexual tension stretching between you, lust coursing through every line of your bodies, energy humming in the air. It’s my very favorite moment. I adore experiencing it myself and it’s the hottest thing I can imagine watching.

I love watching two men kiss, seeing them be vulnerable with each other. It’s so sexy and intimate. This photo makes me so happy because it’s two guys I care about just parting after a deep kiss. (I’ll be in my bunk)

 

Right after a kiss