Dec 012011

Self-reflection Today marks 18 months of blogging since my first post on June 1st, 2010. This is also my 300th post!

When I first agreed to blog my sex life, I didn’t have any idea what I was getting into, I just did it, without thinking about how it would impact my life. It took me a while to find my voice. I still like to experiment with different formats and approaches. While sex has always been a big part of my life, it’s been interesting to frame my life in terms of sex. It’s made me broaden my definition of sex.

I find I’m sometimes tempted to do something sexually just because it would make a good blog post, but that doesn’t make a huge difference because I’m also just adventurous. Many times my sex dates include testing out products for review. My partners know that anything is fair game for the blog. But my life is by no means all sex. I am the mother of 5 children, and you wouldn’t believe (or maybe you would) how many posts I write with Blues Clues or Barney in the background.

It’s been a great trip – and I plan to keep going! I want to share with you some of my favorite experiences so far…

I am most proud of my gender series. I learned so much interviewing Colleen, David, Jim, Kyle, and Aleksa. I’m still learning about gender all of the time, especially my own. I wrote about my experience packing a cock in My Inner Boy. I’ve worked harder on this series than anything else I’ve done for the blog and it’s been totally worth it in terms of what I got out of it – especially the friends I made.

Hedgehog bondage in "More Love"Making erotic videos is something that I’d like to get better at. (I have plans!) Of the ones we’ve already made, a few stand out for me. The Rainy Afternoon video is precious to me because of the energy between Harold and me. We had a lot of technical difficulties, so the result is very “art house,” but I was pleased with it; a genuine connection is harder to capture than anything. I also have to mention the More Love video that we made for all the poly people on Valentine’s Day (and for a fan who wanted to see some plushy sex). Harold and I should both be embarrassed by our acting, but it was sooooo fun to make. I like being so totally silly. I was disappointed that it didn’t provoke more of a reaction.

We got a huge reaction over our Figging Lab Experiment and the Figging Lab Results. Our labs are written rather tongue-in-cheek, but people took them pretty seriously. I am disappointed that I made up such a beautiful data sheet, but that no one to date has returned a completed experiment to me. That’s too bad! Another post discusses the mathematics of Viagra. Did you know that Viagra leads to math?

Some of my posts have been deeply emotional and reveal much of my inner workings. You can see my journey over time working through sex abuse issues and wanting to be topped in The Opposite of Love, Sex in the ShadowOkay on the OutsideWalking through the Darkness, Fear and Arousal, Magic Words, and Deep Dark Fantasies.

Flower in HawaiiMy trip to Hawaii was big for me. I got to spend time with my girlfriend, Erika, and I met a bunch of really fabulous people. All of the foliage in Hawaii looks erotic.

Another pivotal moment for me was the first close up picture of my cunt I’d ever seen. I wrote about it in Ready for my Close Up, talking about all of my conflicting feelings.

It’s interesting to read Is Thin the Only Sexy? written almost a year ago. I talk about my body image after seeing nude pictures of myself and realizing that I was fat. I decided that fat is still sexy. It totally is. But I also realize that I’ve lost 35 pounds since then. I feel much more comfortable in my body now, but I still look at pictures of myself and feel unhappy.

Some of my favorite posts have to do with being part of a family. My children drew pictures for Secret Life of a Mommy. In Love Song for my Metamour I got to express all of the wonderful things I feel about sharing my life with Melanie. A Poly Jolly Christmas talks about how blessed I feel to have my large poly family together over the holidays.

Finally, I do a lot of reviews, but a few things have really changed my life. One of them is the book, I’ll Show You Mine, which features gorgeous photographs of vulvas. Another is Buck Angel’s Sexing the Transman, a documentary/porn flick that taught me a ton about transmen. Also, working with the photographer, David Steinberg, over two photo sessions was deeply moving.

Photo by David Steinberg, 2011

Photo by David Steinberg, 2011

As you can see, blogging has had a huge impact on my life. These posts represent my highs and lows, ins and outs of the last 18 months. I want to thank all of our readers for your thoughtful comments and constant support. Your participation means so much to me!

Apr 082011

Several months ago I became intensely curious about trying figging on Harold. It seemed like a great adventure. I did a bunch of research on the internet to determine how it should be done and carefully prepared my ginger. The results were somewhat discouraging. Harold didn’t seem to be very affected by figging. We had a great time with some cock-and-ball torture and the overall experience was a success, but I wondered about the ginger. Does it have magical erotic properties as my research would lead me to believe? Did we apply the method incorrectly? How would ginger in the ass affect other people? Hence Sexological lab experiment #13 was hatched.

I expanded my research and made plans to try the experiment on myself and Harold as the lab took shape. Finally, we prepared to take a trial run just before publishing our experiment. Our data sample is too small, as of yet, to make any conclusive determinations about the effectiveness of figging as an anal aphrodisiac, but I have included our first hand accounts of the experience.

Ginger figging may turn women into sex maniacsEvoë

The things I have heard about figging with
ginger sound too good to be true, that women
will start crying and begging to be fucked the
instant you shove fresh ginger in their asshole.”

2:30 pm - “I’m uncomfortable with the idea of anything anal, but I’m interested in expanding my comfort zone. The things I have heard about figging with ginger sound too good to be true, that women will start crying and begging to be fucked the instant you shove fresh ginger in their asshole. That the discomfort is incredibly hot and sexy. That when you finally orgasm it’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced. As a woman, I want that holiest of grails. I want the wild, uninhibited sexual experience.

“The scientist in me says that ginger is a placebo. It’s only the build-up and surrounding treatment that gives ginger its sexual powers. On the other hand, I know that the intestines are designed for absorption. Perhaps ginger does release some sort of chemical permission slip. I don’t know what to believe any more. It’s almost time for me to find out the truth.

“I don’t feel sexy at all.”

3:30 pm – “Wow! Oh my. I started out feeling a total lack of arousal. In fact I’ve been feeling bad about sex all day. But this is amazing! I mean, I only did it because it’s science. It’s important to test the procedure. I had to, really. But I’m so glad I did. It works, it really works! I wasn’t begging to be fucked or anything. I came three times during the 30 minute trial. Three orgasms is significant, I think! Yes, I was not totally holding to scientific method — I did apply a vibrator at 10, 20, and 25 minutes. At 15 minutes I experienced a fit of coughing that was very painful as my asshole tightened on the ginger fig. After that things started to feel different – just like the internet accounts claimed! Everything down there felt warm and erotic. I believe the ginger began to release it’s chemical into my system.

“My last orgasm was very intense. Quite different from anything I’ve experienced before. I got close to orgasm and turned off the vibrator. I tensed the muscles in my butt and thighs, focusing on there being something in my ass and the warm tingle that suffused my nether regions. Suddenly, I began coming, but it was like my entire rectum was orgasming. This was somewhat uncomfortable around the ginger, but the discomfort just made me come harder. I felt that my whole body was orgasming.

“Maybe ginger has special erotic properties after all. I did not achieve extremely high values, but I did go from not turned on at all to body-rocking orgasms.”

Figging is known to lead to other depravitiesHarold

The erotic sensations receded into the background as
I found myself in a kind of trancy, almost meditative
state. “Liquid” is not a bad word for it…”

4:45 pm – “It’s true I’ve tried figging before, but not under controlled circumstances, and probably not for more than about ten minutes at a time. I recall that it stung a bit, not unpleasantly, and of course seemed attractively transgressive (nice people don’t let on in polite company that they like to shove ginger up their butts), but it didn’t seem compellingly interesting.

“This time, however, scientific curiosity impelled me to take a more open-minded and attentive seond look. People have reported results that suggest some possible psycho-active effect, and I wanted to see if I could experience anything similar.

“I started off in a good frame of mind, and found the insertion of the feague a turn-on in itself. After that, I relaxed, and tried to pay attention to my sensations, using our lab data sheet as a framework.

“Once again, I could definitely feel some mild stinging, which increased gradually and peaked at about 15 minutes. It wasn’t particularly unpleasant, and when my lab partner began to apply an expert genital massage, I found myself feeling extremely pleased with the world. However, as I’ve observed about myself in the past, I seldom if ever get much of a hard-on when anal play is occurring, no matter how turned on I might feel.

“Then, about 20 minutes in, I began to feel something different and unexpected. The erotic sensations receded into the background as I found myself in a kind of trancy, almost meditative state. “Liquid” is not a bad word for it… but it was more pleasant and pleasurable than actively erotic.

“This trancy state actually disconnected me from the erotic, so that when I actually removed the feague after 30 minutes, I was more spacey than turned on. My lab partner and I did have sex thereafter, and my orgasm was satisfying but not in any way earth-shaking.

“I conclude that ginger does seem to have a mild psychotropic effect on me when applied anally for more than 15 minutes, but that it is not necessarily erotic in focus.”


There are few conclusions we can make after our preliminary experimentation. With our small data sample our findings are inclusive. We need your help to unravel this important mystery. Try the experiment yourself.

Apr 072011


Figging and caning, a great combination

Figging and caning, a great combination

Figging is the practice of putting a length of peeled ginger root in your posterior orifice as part of sexual congress. It is believed by many groups on the fringes of academia to induce wild throes of passion deriving from a particularly delicious, if minor, agony, so say the so-called BDSM life-stylers. It is our goal to attempt to recreate the supposed conditions that would induce such pain and euphoria.

While we will discuss the physical and emotional implications of such an act, it is interesting first to ponder the origins of figging through etymological exploration. For example, the word feague (pronounced FEEG), has had many interesting meanings over the centuries.[1] It has meant “to whip or thrash someone” and at one time used to mean “to encourage or lift the spirits of a person.” Most fascinating is the use of feague to describe the equestrian practice of inserting a stimulant, usually ginger, into the anus of a horse to make it appear more lively. Although less pertinent to our studies, fico[1], means fig and also the act of thrusting your thumb between the index and middle fingers of your closed first in a gesture of extreme contempt. It is said to be an invitation to “kiss my ass.”[2]

Your tools: ginger and a paring knife

Your tools: ginger and a paring knife

Figs themselves, the fruit, have quite the sexual reputation, by turns being compared to testicles and female genitalia, depending on one’s proclivities (cf. una bella fica in Italian). One needs only to bite into a fig to understand why they are often thought obscene. The most intriguing definition of the word fig is “to put into fine form artificially”[3], very thought-provoking in the field of figging, where many unsubstantiated claims are being made about ginger’s attributes as an aphrodisiac.

How does all of this come together to the modern BDSM practice? Indubitably there is still some controversy, although most data suggests that it in the Victorian era that the modern practice has it’s roots.[4] There is some mention of the act of figging in Victorian literature. It could have started with the punishment of school children, but it’s well known, and widely accepted in scholarly circles, that Victorians were quite kinky in their bedroom play and many men of the era enjoyed spanking games with their wives. Since we have evidence that they used methods such as bare hands, caning, and riding crops, it’s likely that someone was watching horses and decided to plug his wife with a bit of ginger while applying a crop to her backside and riding her round the room.

One might wonder what benefit a fine Victorian gentleman would find in figging his wife. All one must do to find this answer is to return to the etymology of the word “feague/fig.” We can assume that he was encouraging or lifting her spirits, putting her into a fine form artificially, so to speak, by the application of ginger to her posterior, so he could then thrash her – first with a cane and then with his figs as he pounded her juicy fruit. It’s all there for those scholars with eyes and wisdom to see.

Be sure to slice away from your person

Be sure to slice away from your person

But does ginger have special sexual properties? Some sources purport that ginger enhances orgasm in a two-pronged methodology. The first is that having the ginger in your rectum induces a mild stinging that prolongs foreplay because the subject does not want to clench their butt cheeks, as is necessary for orgasm and thereby enhances the sexual experience. The second is that after a while the sensations change and a warmth, a mild euphoria and heightened arousal state settles in, leaving the subject ready for love. Many people report big tingly orgasms unlike what they normally experience.[5]

Commonly reported reactions to ginger figs inserted into the anus are extreme arousal among men, although erections are not common, and women begging and pleading for someone to please fuck them with something, anything.[4][5]


A retention ring will help your anus hold onto the fig

A retention ring will help your anus hold onto the fig

To test the theory that ginger inserted to the rectum will enhance the sexual experience.


  • 1 “hand’ of fresh ginger
  • A sharp paring knife and/or a vegetable peeler
  • A stopwatch
  • Data worksheet and pen


Step 1: Select the specimen

Take a scientific exploratory trip to the grocery store to select your “hand” of ginger. (It’s called a hand because it resembles a human hand with fingered appendages.) You will be carving out a single finger, so look for a hand that will allow for a fairly smooth finger, at least 4 inches in length, with a broader base to use as a

Completed ginger figs will vary in size and shape

Completed ginger figs will vary in size and shape

handle and prevent anal ingestion of the ginger. Keep your ginger cool and dry until you are ready to perform the experiment. It should be as fresh as possible.

Step 2: Calibrate your tool

Use the peeler and paring knife to sculpt your fig. Cut out the basic form of your fig, slicing down into the meat of the ginger hand to achieve as much length as possible. Peel off any remaining skin and smooth any bumps or protuberances. The base will remain outside the body and may be knobby and skin-covered. You may also carve a shallow retention ring, two thirds of the way down for your sphincter to hold onto, thereby making the fig easier to hold in place. The tip should be rounded. Rinse with cool water.

Step 3: Activation

Carefully insert your fig into your rectum. No personal lubricant should be used, but a bit of cold water can be used as needed. Most subjects find it easiest to be face down on a soft surface, their midsection elevated and supported. Clench your butt cheeks together tightly for the first minute to make sure your ginger is properly activated.


Step 4: Data collection

Consider your answers carefully

Consider your answers carefully

Using the provided data collection worksheet, gauge your emotional desire, physical desire, and level of pain using a simple scale from 1 to 10. You will need the stopwatch to mark the passing time. For best results, clench butt cheeks tightly before taking each assessment.


Do not attempt this experiment if you are allergic to ginger!!! Sensitivity to ginger can be tested in the underarm area.

If the ginger happens to break off while inserted in your posterior, do not despair. Ginger will break down quickly and be eliminated naturally.

When finished with the experiment, figs should be discarded and NOT reused or repurposed.

Our Findings

Our results were somewhat consistent with the myths surrounding figging, but too complicated to insert into this paper. Our finding will be published separately, but you may view our data sheets here and here. If you would like your results to be compiled into our Figological Sciences page, please email your completed data sheet to lab #13 results.

Extra Credit

Perform the experiment again with a partner. Compare your results to see if you feel more aroused when alone or coupled. You will not, however, receive extra credit if your professor is figging your entire class, unless you are pursuing a double major in sexology and theater arts.


[1] Novobatzky, Peter, and Ammon Shea: Depraved and Insulting English. 2001. p. 84, 87.
[2] Hendrickson, Robert: Encyclopedia of Word and Phrase Origins. 1997. p. 250.
[3] Neilson, William Allan, PhD., LLD, LHD, Litt.D, Editor in Chief: Webster’s New International Dictionary of the English Language, 2nd Edition, Unabridged. 1949. p. 943.
[4]  Michael, Master, MBDSM: “Figging: The Art of Ginger Root Play,”, 2000.
[5] Kennedy, Kris, Professor Emeritus Altcom University, College of Sexological Studies, “Why Give a Fig,” 1996-2011.

Jan 062011

Science!Background [1]

The art of chain measurement, or cunchenation, has largely fallen into disuse in recent centuries.  Among ancient peoples, by contrast, generosity and hospitality was closely linked to an impressive chain capacity, and young girls would wear their chains proudly around their necks, or in the case of really long chains, around their waists.  It was a practice among the Celts to hang your chain, or Faighin Slabhra, at your front door, so passers-by could assess the hospitality of your house in advance.  It has even been suggested that the efficacy of harbor chains in repelling sea-born attacks was originally based on their terrifying ability to suggest really formidable women defenders.

A woman generally opened herself to measurement in a public ceremony, aided by her partner, or Cunchenaide.[2] Because the level of arousal was crucial for achieving an impressive chain capacity, a long chain was considered to enhance the Cunchenaide’s reputation as well.  And, though it was largely symbolic by the time the Romans invaded, older practices demanded that the Cunchenaide pay homage to the lady by gifting her with an orgasm for every link of her chain on the longest night of the year. Many anthropologists postulate that these rites were believed to bring joy and fertility to the household.

We invite you to practice some cunchenation of your own. We’ve broken the process down into a few easy steps that can be carried out in the privacy of your own home, although you certainly may conduct this experiment publicly for a more authentic experience.


Improve lab technique by experimenting with non-standard units of measure.


  • 6 feet of proof coil chain: must be brand new, chrome-plated (not galvanized or nickel-plated), 1 inch long links, smooth welds
  • Boiling water
  • Isopropyl alcohol
  • A large amount of personal lubricant
  • A pillow (optional)
  • A towel (optional)


Step 1: Prepare the chain

When cunchenation was widely practiced, Cunchenmasters carefully constructed special chains. Thankfully, today we can simply pick up what we need from the local boat supply, livestock, or hardware stores – but do inspect the chain carefully for flaws or rough spots.

Purify the chain by boiling it in water for at least five minutes. Let cool and wash in isopropyl alcohol. Rinse and pat dry. Store someplace clean (like a new ziplock baggie) until ready for use.

Step 2: Prepare the woman

It is the job of the Cuchenaide to put the woman in a receptive state. The use of tongue, fingers, and vibration were traditionally used on, but not limited to the following areas: nipples, clitoris, and g-spot. The exact ritual has been lost in time, but we feel confident that you will be able to approximate a reasonable facsimile.

You will know when the woman has achieved the appropriate state of receptiveness when she appears meditative and begins chanting. When you hear mantras such as “ohm eye god,” “yesyesyes,” or “pleeeeeeeeeease,” you may proceed to the next step.

Step 3: Cunchenation
Cunchenation in action

The secret of successful cunchenation is copious use of personal lubricant.  If you are attempting to stay true to the classical practices, we recommend wild boar ejaculate, but everyone else should feel free to use their favorite brand of commercially available lube. Whatever you use, apply it liberally to both the woman and the chain. It may be necessary to place a pillow beneath the woman’s bottom to aid in accessibility and comfort. Additionally, a towel may be strategically placed to catch excess lubricant.

Begin to insert the chain into her cunt one link at a time. The ancient Celts would count each link aloud as it went in, but we believe that to be unnecessary in modern science. Quantifying the measure can take place at any time after the lab is completed. It is important to keep the woman focused by attempting to keep her arousal level as high as possible. Additional stimulation may be required.

Evoe's measureWhen you both agree that the woman is as full of chain as possible, mark the chain, preferably with a bit of red ribbon. Let her roll from side to side to feel the depths of her generosity.

At this point, although we have our measure for science, it may be prudent to follow the ancient rites, which held that a woman’s measure was not valid until she showed her approval. To this end, bring the woman right to the edge of orgasm, then slowly and smoothly pull the length of chain out of her cunt and place it on her stomach. She should then feel moved to approval.


Traditionally, the chain was cut to length during or immediately after measurement, but for scientific purposes, it is appropriate simply to count the links that were inserted. Please note the results in your lab notebook, and compare with other students. Some women may feel that a single measurement suffices, while others may wish to pursue scientific inquiry more diligently by gathering many data points over the course of time.

Extra Credit

Roles can be reversed so that the Cunchenaide may similarly be carefully and rigorously measured, using a fresh chain.

[1] References: While no known written record of the ancient and venerable practices described here has yet been found, we are sure that our account is perfectly authentic and can be considered, as the Italians put it, “ben trovato.”

[2] As far as can be determined, Hobart’s “KitchenAid” brand is not intentially derived from or related to the ancient term, Cunchenaide.