Mar 022013
I got sexy new shoes for my birthday. I’m putting them to good use.
See what other people are up to this Sinful Sunday!
Oct 082012
You belong on your knees,
head bowed, hands offered up,
give me your prayers.
Beg me, please, please, please.
I want your submission, sublimation,
I will take from you your sin,
your sorrow, your suffering,
and your sex.
Will you give up everything?
I can hold all of you.
Assume that you are here at my feet
to worship me.
Do you want my full breasts,
nipples hardened with lust,
my cunt wet and welcoming?
Have you come to hurt?
Your pain is mine to have
and heal.
Come to me, little one.
I know how to play your body,
draw out hidden emotions,
make a meal out of sensation,
make you scream, and cry, and plead.
Push past your fear,
and revel in your shame.
Gasp under my kiss,
writhe beneath my hand,
spasm at the touch of my tongue,
but don’t come until I say.
Beg me, please, please, please.
Give me your prayers,
head bowed, hands offered up,
you belong on your knees.
Sep 022012
It is mysterious how our jangly energy can eventually come together so strongly. We feel each other acutely. We make love until we flow together, our energies combined. He feels my restless anger. I sense how much my ire invokes his distress, his need to serve and heal. I need magic to deepen our bond before it unravels. He hands me the cane.
I give him my emotion in the form of pain. It is an exchange. He takes my anger and transforms it into something beautiful. I safeguard him, give him a channel for his expression. It is an exchange. I whip the cane hard against his ass, leaving a welt. He lets loose a mighty roar and I rest my hand on his back. He is mine. He can handle this pain because it has a purpose – he is setting me free. It is an exchange. The energy flows from me to him and back again. We have found a place of extreme connection. Each stripe we raise on his ass is alchemy. We are transforming our pain into golden love.
Aug 282012
I love my life. I am so happy to be non-monogamous. My life is so full of love and amazing people. No, it’s not always like this. Sometimes I feel jealous or frustrated. At times it’s difficult to get my needs met because resources like time and money are scarce. But right now I am floating in a nice happy poly ocean of love.
My girlfriend has joined our family enclave. She has her own space, but she’s hanging out in the house a bunch. This is so good for me. I can’t even say – I’m ecstatic to have all of my people gathered together. Evidently this is what I do. I create family. And Blyss is fitting right in to our crazy family life.
She has her own adventures. She goes off and does her own thing for periods of time. I am totally happy to have her follow her pleasure, but when she is gone my heart reaches for her like my hand reaches for chocolate, only to discover that the secret stash is depleted. Then she comes back and things are all rainbows and sparkles again. She has a way of making me feel good about myself.
This last time she returned chock full of New Relationship Energy (NRE). It’s adorable. She found herself a beautiful boi and is twitter-pated. Sadly, he lives 15 hours away – but he may come visit us in a few months. I hear about him a lot. I don’t mind. It’s very sweet. They are at the sharing naughty photos stage of their relationship so I get sexted a bit. In fact, I got naked pics while I was chatting with the other soccer mommies! All the joy flows all over everything.
Blyss is asking my advice about Topping. It’s forcing me to realize that I AM actually a Top. Without a thought, I can dish out suggestions for Domination. It’s even let us have a discussion about what power dynamics might look like between the two of us. I’m looking forward to making it a reality. I’m also enjoying Blyss’s fantasies about her new boi – that we might “double date” when he visits so I can teach her some CBT technique. I think it sounds hot!
I think with two husbands, it really helps to have some feminine influence in my life. She’s not afraid to apply a loving 2×4 when I need it. Blyss even helped me sort out an argument with Harold this week. Harold’s wife, Melanie is often helpful in these ways, but we have a different dynamic, more of a partnership. And that is working very well right now too.
Three romantic relationships that are fairly serious, plus a metamour who is a co-parent,plus four children at home is a lot of people’s needs to keep in mind. So far, we’re doing it. I have almost as much sex as I could want. The oxytocin high is getting me through my days. Occasionally I struggle with a hard bit, but mostly I wonder how anyone gets by in a monogamous relationship. I am so lucky in love. I love my life.
Aug 082012
I’m feeling tired, angry, and burnt out. I spend a lot of time talking about how wonderful I think sex is because I BELIEVE in the power of sex. My belief is that sex is the source of healing for all things emotional and even some things physical. Sex sets us free of our normal limitations. Sex allows us to connect with each other and the universe. Sex is powerful, so people fear it and abuse it.
I hate that sex abuse is everywhere. I appreciate that people are bringing it out into the open. I loathe secrets. Secrets are the death of healthy sexuality, and often of sanity. Privacy is fine, secrets are not. In sex, more knowledge and more communication means a better experience for everyone. I’m glad that I can read about sex abuse all over the internet and share stories with friends – this is the beginning of finding solace. Sex abuse is one of the most isolating things I can think of, so lay all your stuff out, not just to free yourself, but to free everyone from secrecy.
I could save myself some pain by shutting it all out, but I feel like I owe it to every survivor who wants to talk about what happened to them to listen – to witness their bravery. It takes some guts to come forward because every former victim I’ve ever talked to started out thinking that it was somehow their fault. It breaks my heart. I hate that the experience of sexual abuse at any level is so pervasive. From street heckling to incest, these are all perversions of sexuality.
I’m so tired of aching over my own abuse. I’m bored with wallowing in my own sadness, shame, and anger. It isn’t the whole of who I am; I am not the abuse. I have worked hard and long to let go of these emotions, but I still feel damaged. Maybe the scar tissue never goes away. I just want to find a way of carrying my baggage that’s easier and doesn’t chafe.
How can it not chafe? Why shouldn’t I be fucking angry? Why shouldn’t I be yelling from the rooftops? I’m pissed. I’m livid. I should be beating down the walls. But I have to be angry in the right ways – smart ways. I could hate sex, but I don’t. Sex is not my enemy. Sex is MINE, I own it. I’m not afraid of sex any more. Sex connects me with myself and the people I love. I get a great deal of my needs met through sex.
I could hate men, ignoring the fact that not all abusers are male. Whether subtle or overt, I see a lot of women deciding that despising men will make them feel better. It’s safer to keep men at a distance. I think this is damaging on so many levels. Yes, people can use their strength and power in evil ways. This does not make everyone with strength and power evil. There are traits that I admire in people of all genders that might make them risky to me if I let my fear drive, but the truth is that I like partners with those traits. What I try to communicate to my children and my partners is an admiration for those traits and the expectation that I will be treated with respect. I don’t make a big deal about it, it’s just my truth.
Any of partners might be an easy target for my rage, but I know that would make me an abuser. My loved ones do not deserve my anger about sex abuse. They are trying to help me. Sometimes I just well up with frustration and helplessness and I’m looking for the nearest thing to lash out at. Or I’m honestly trying to work through the emotion and it leaks into our interactions. Then I own my emotions, do damage control if necessary, and find other ways of processing. I want my relationships to stay as clean as possible. I get so much out of the love that I share that I’m not about to dirty those waters.
Where should my anger go? Back to the people who took away my right to choose. That’s difficult because it’s painful to look straight at those memories. It’s easier to think that I’m reading a story or watching a television show – something that happened long ago and has no more power over me. But to be mad as hell, you have to live it. No one can do that all the time.
I’m tired because I’m not just fighting my own demons, I’m also fighting the culture we live in. I believe that some abusers are themselves victim of the system. I’m not defending their actions, I’m just recognizing the patterns. I recently read some accounts written by men who had raped. Some of them were genuine sociopaths who knew that they had done wrong and were gratified that they hadn’t been caught. What struck me though, was the number of men who raped because of poor boundaries, lack of communication, and intoxication. Most of these men raped in high school or college and have spent the rest of their lives feeling like horrible monsters. I know first hand how the women they raped must have felt.
Why are so many young people having sexual experiences that scar them for life? Is it maybe that we are failing as a society to give them the tools they need to have successful, fulfilling relationships and sexual encounters? I don’t want my children to learn about sex while drunk at a party. And I don’t want to worry about them getting raped by some asshole while getting drunk at a party. Why don’t we teach (and model) good sexual behavior? Let’s make sure everyone learns about consent: Yes means yes, the absence of a “no” does not mean yes!
This is where I try to channel my anger. It’s not that I’m lighthearted about sex. I know all about the vast dark underbelly of sexuality, I just don’t choose to live there. I love sex. I want to protect the sanctity of sex – for me, for you, for the next generation. I fight to show all of the glorious aspects of sex so that I can change the way that our culture handles sex. I want people to know that you can get through sex abuse and have healthy sex lives. I know that the darkness is there, I just light my way forward with love and beauty.
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Jul 262012
Photo by: http://thenakeddesert.artworkfolio.com/
I meet a lot of fascinating people in my line of work, but even so, sometimes a person really stands out. Meet Xochiquetzal Duti Odinsdottir. She runs a website, sacredprofanity.com, where she talks about kink, magic, sexwork, leather, ordeals, and taboo in ways that make my heart melt. I heard her give a presentation in San Francisco last month and I think she is one of the best presenters I’ve ever seen. Tears streamed down my face while Xochiquetzal Duti spoke truths to my soul. She is a powerful priestess.
Sacred sexuality is deeply important to my own practice, but I had never before considered kink, pain, and power dynamics as potential for sacrifice, both to the divine and to the betterment of the world. Xochiquetzal Duti changed forever the way I view sex by giving me permission to fully actualize the shadow side of my sexuality. I had the opportunity to speak with her in person and have been emailing. I asked her to answer a few questions and here are her answers for all of you…
What do you mean by sacred and profane and how do those concepts shape your sexuality?
I mean those things that we can’t seem to do without, the materials we can’t seem to leave alone, that define us; our identities, our positions within structures, our way of looking at ourselves and where we stand. Sacred and profane come together in one beautiful word; taboo. Together those two words mean and describe the space I try to create within my sexuality. The things that we hold sacred, how can I corrupt them? Make them profane? Once I’ve accomplished that, how can I make them holy again? What has changed about them in their profane state to take away their sacredness? What change has it caused in me to do that?
Your spirituality is deeply intertwined with your sexuality. Do you believe that to be true for everyone?
I don’t. I think that we all have the capability to intertwine the two, and that we experience these things, but we lack the terminology to explain what we’re experiencing. It takes someone willing to delve deeper into those moments of attempted integration; of joining all our disparate parts of self, into Self. We can all achieve it to some degree, but more importantly, I think we need to work to bring all of our facets in our lives; our views of self as parents, friends, coworkers, etc. need to come together to be a whole person.
What are the benefits of a spiritual sex life?
The biggest benefit to me has been an ability to live an authentic life. I don’t have to ‘hide’ facets of who I am, I just am and if the person has issues with that, I will do what I can to answer their questions but that doesn’t detract from me being who I am meant to be. I live fully and completely in the knowledge that all parts of me see the light of day, I lose the shame that we’re expected to have around our desires, it’s very liberating.
You view BDSM as an ordeal practice. Please explain how you use the energy created through consensual sexual pain.
It’s dependent on what areas my brain and my heart lead me to. At times, the scene is where the energy is directed; if the scene is playing to some abuse that is systemic, then the energy I create does two things, maintains the connection with the top or bottom, and goes toward ending that issue. For example, doing a heavy abuse scene, domestic or otherwise, will lead me to use energy and intent to feed the idea of ridding the world of those issues, that today I be the only one that suffers this slap to the face and thus save that fate from a child struggling with alcoholic parents. So much of what I think about and struggle with is how ugly this world has been made by human hands. So many issues that we created because of our need to hold onto those sacred cows of power and prestige, the need to subjugate another so that we have pedestals to stand on, that we become blind to the suffering of the people we stand on. I use the energy of consensual sexual pain, to try and do what I can, to end the very issues I deal with on a daily basis; most of them are based in marginalization and lack of recognition of one another’s basic humanity.
What projects you are currently working on and where people can contact you or get more information?
My most current writing projects are two essays in two different anthologies, one for the Morrighan and the other for Odin, both are currently in the gathering the works phase, so I don’t know when they are expected to reach publication. I have articles that I write for Kink-E-Zine (http://kink-e-zine.com) and on my website, SacredProfanity.com.
The other non-writing project that I am currently investing time and energy into are the Pagans of Color Hospitality Suite for Pantheacon 2013 (and beyond?) and that can be found by this link.
To contact me, feel free to email me at xochiquetzal.duti@sacredprofanity.com and let me know that you found me through Whole Sex Life and I will do my best to respond within 24-48 hours of receiving the email. I offer divination and ritual creation/counseling but am not a certified counselor so I cannot venture into those areas but I am a really good ear for spiritual talk and rabble-rousing.
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Jul 222012
Taboos are interesting things. They tend to keep us safe in one way or another by giving us a strong aversion. Most people obey that aversion without thinking, but there are always a few people who poke at the edges – people who are turned on by the shame that they feel at the thought of violating a taboo. The forbidden can be very alluring. For some people, that shame twists all around and becomes obsessive and secretive. For others, they manage to take the energy of the taboo and use it for their own pleasure, without actually violating the taboo.
Let me give you an example: sex with children is strictly forbidden. It causes lifelong harm for a child to be used to gratify a grown-up’s desires. It is flat out WRONG to sexually abuse children and most people wouldn’t even consider it. Yet, some people are able to pretend or role-play being children for sexual gratification. This age play ranges from babies to teenagers. No actual children are harmed, but people find ways of exploring the energy of the taboo.
I’ve been obsessed with power dynamics and role playing for a while. I blame Sinclair Sexsmith. I attended their workshop on queering power dynamics a while ago and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. Power is not an easy thing for me sexually, but I find it really hot. I want it, I long for it with a deep abiding desire, I just don’t know how to get there. Harold and I tried a Teacher/student dynamic for a while. It was exciting at first, then felt kind of gross because Harold couldn’t imagine a nice guy having sex with a student. He got slimy and ridiculous. We gave it up.
I’ve talked to several people who have explored a Mommy or Daddy/boy or girl relationship. At first I thought that I would never be able to do that. I totally get why people would want to use that energy. Parents are firm, yet loving. I know I long for a kind of approval and attachment that one can only get from a parent. I suppose if I dig deeper I can see that every child first expresses sexuality to a parent. If that first expression is handled respectfully then the child is likely to have a healthy sexuality. I get it, but how could I honestly call my lover Daddy? It feels so wrong.
I think it’s important to make a distinction between wanting to role-play an actual parent and using the energy of the archetype of the Mommy or Daddy. Daddy has as much of the leather daddy archetype as you want to use. If I wanted to be Harold’s Mommy, I would not be trying to mimic his mother. Nor would I be treating him like I treat my children. We would be developing a sexual power dynamic that integrates the nurturing qualities of motherhood with the stern discipline of parenting and the hot sexual tension of a dominatrix. I think I can be comfortable in that space. Just enough of the taboo energy lingers, but there is power there.
These are the kinds of thoughts that have been going through my mind. I so much want Harold to Top me in a way that works for us both. I have things that I want to heal and it would be so much easier to sort through the dark places if Harold could hold me and help me break open. I need a firm hand. I need guidance. I need to rebel and be a brat and still be loved. I need the heat generated by desire to help me transform my pain. I don’t know how it will work. I’m not sure that we can both overcome the blocks we have, but…
I’ve asked Harold to be my Daddy.
Apr 262012
We were going to do some bondage photos for you, really we were. We were talking about it, making plans. It’s just that I started to feel all horny. I do have some self-restraint. I would have taken that energy to the photo shoot, but then Harold started getting all Toppy. Harold doesn’t Top very much, actually not at all, and I would like him to Top sometimes, so this was a BIG DEAL.
He kept putting his hand on my throat and handling me roughly. He yanked my shirt up and pulled my nipples free of my bra, pinching them painfully. One hand slid into my jeans. His finger tickled my labia before dipping into my cunt and then rubbing my clit with expert flair. It drove me wild how he handled my body with the ease and competence of ownership. It makes me feel loved. I writhed and moaned at his touch. When he pulled my jeans and panties off, all thoughts of rope and cameras fled my mind.
He went down on me and everything was pure lust and sensation. I can’t think of anything better in the world except for what came next. He pulled off his pants, revealing his hard-on. I lifted my legs, resting my feet on his shoulders, and he slid into me. I might have had a vague thought that we would still take photos, but I was pretty swept away. How have we never fucked with my feet on his shoulders and my back arched before? It’s fucking fantastic! I’ve never had my g-spot so thoroughly probed before.
It didn’t take long for an orgasm to blow my mind. I think I came for three minutes. Then we switched to a side-lying position, which also felt amazingly exquisite. From there, I need a bit of a breather. Harold buried his fingers in my cunt. I reached for my vibrator, thinking that we might try to get me to squirt again, but I got distracted. Again. This time, I simply had to put Harold’s cock in my mouth.
He has a beautiful cock. I derive a lot of pleasure out of licking and sucking it. I like tracing the contours with my tongue, sucking the whole thing into my mouth as hard as I can, and finishing with a swirl of my tongue – over and over. He didn’t let me go very long, however, before he was ordering me to fuck him.
I did my best to ride him hard. My eyes roll back in my head when I think of how good it felt. I felt on the verge of coming for so long. Mostly my eyes were closed, following the sensation, but my few glimpses of Harold showed him with his head tipped back, eyes screwed shut, and mouth wide open – silently screaming in ecstasy. I moved faster and faster, chasing my orgasm. Finally, I collapsed on his chest, panting and spasming. I thought that I was going to die. My heart beat fast in my throat and I gasped out endearments. Coming like that certainly convinces me that I will love him forever.
When I had regained my ability to breathe and articulate speech, Harold asked me if I would play with his ass. But of course my dear! I lubed up and slid a finger in. My other hand rubbed his cock. Almost immediately he started to leak – little drops of ejaculate pooled at the head and ran down his cock to form a river across my hand. I added another finger, reveling in the feeling of manipulating his pleasure.
I could stay there forever – rubbing his prostate and alternating between my mouth and my hand on his penis, milking him slowly, knowing that this feels blissful for him. It’s a good lesson for me, because I always worry that he will get bored fingering me. I need to believe that he loves to give me pleasure as much as I do for him. I need to give him a chance to give to me because that is also a pleasure.
We finally stopped due to hunger and exhaustion. I was starting to get a bit limp with oxytocin overload and lack of food. By the time we cleaned up and got lunch, we didn’t have the time or energy to do a bondage shoot. That’s the truth of it, I spent my day engaged in wild, spontaneous, passionate sex instead of getting you your photos. Well, you know what they say about the best laid people…
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Jan 142012
I lie in bed at night and think about power. What is power? Where does power come from? Why can I be powerful in some ways, but not in others? How does power manifest in sexual relationships? And mostly, what can I do to feel more empowered in my life? It’s a lot to ponder. I have to examine my painful past – childhood abuse – and take apart things so deep that they feel unchangeable. I must challenge my assumptions about how the world works. And ultimately, I need to decide who I am going to be.
Early in life I learned that it wasn’t very safe to show up. I spent my time trying to please everyone. The grownups had the power. I had no right to choose. I had a very real sense of danger about making a wrong move because the consequences would be painful. This was normal, but also kept secret from the outside world. I became expert at presenting a good face. As a result, I felt powerful in the outside world, but inconsequential internally. I developed patterns of behavior designed to try to control situations in order to mitigate the danger of making a wrong decision.
I’ve come to believe that power is the ability to make choices, preferably by following your heart. It took me years to be able to make any kind of choice. I was always afraid of making the wrong choice. Now I’m likely to make a choice too quickly, if anything. And it’s true that I feel powerless if I feel there are no choices. There is a kind of power that comes from deep within. I sense it like an illumination at my core. When I contemplate options from there, I just feel the right path. That surety of belief, and the ability to act on it, is power.
Of course there is the power over others type of power as well. I grew up with it. It involves getting people to give up their power for you, or simply forcing it. I don’t think that personal power can ever be truly taken away, but it can be easy to believe that you don’t have a choice. Because this model of power was impressed on me early on, I’ve done all that I can to avoid it, while still playing by those rules. I keep waiting for people to let me be powerful, rather than feeling my own power.
As a parent, I’ve been acutely aware of power. I have felt true to my own power. I am the mom. I am in charge. But that doesn’t mean that I enforce my will on everyone. I try to teach my children about their own power. I explain things. I give them choices. I help them figure out how to make good decision. I am a resource. I guide. I foster independence while honoring their spirits and providing a safe shelter.
As a CEO, I am struggling to figure out how to protect my vision without crippling the company. I’m good at making things happen, but scared that my dreams might be taken away as they were when I was a child. I’m functioning somewhere in between power from within and power over. I’m waiting for everyone else to grant me power rather than just assuming I have it. I’m not very skillful with power in areas that really matter to me. Thankfully, I work with people who understand.
As a lover, power is complicated. I’ve done so much work around my sexuality, that sex feels pretty safe. I generally know the power dynamics going into a sexual situation. I used to be more comfortable being submissive sexually because someone else would make all of the choices. All I had to worry about was my own reactions. It was a relief to be in a situation where I didn’t have to fear making a wrong choice. It was easy to know how to please my partner. Over the past five years, I’ve become more of a top. I like to control the situation. I trust myself more to be able to read my partner’s energy and make good decisions. More and more, I am looking to make love as equals. Playing with power can be fun, but I now want to strip away the psychological distractions and focus all of our energy on being together.
I’ve noticed that some people feel less powerful as life goes on. Possibilities seem wide open when you are young, but all of the choices you make over the course of your life seem to limit the available options. The economy sliding down must be amplifying this effect for a great many people now. I’ve seen this kind of paralysis creep into sex, as well as general life choices. Maybe the narrowing is deceptive, though – if power comes from within, then you own it completely and no outside force can affect it. Maybe giving up is the true loss of power.
I am a very powerful person. I’m good at seeing all of the options, even the hidden ones. I know myself pretty well. Right now pain and anger often cloud my ability to follow my heart, but it’s a passing thing. I can choose to let it flow through me. My power comes from within.
Dec 102011
I’ve gone over a week without posting, which hasn’t happened for a long time. It’s a combination of factors, like having a bad cold, working on other projects, and generally feeling bad about myself. But there have been some sexy moments…
For the first time, I got to photograph a couple making love. It was an incredible experience. I went into the photo shoot without expectations, but certainly hoping that they would feel comfortable enough to be intimate together. I feel very honored that they trusted me enough that they could follow their desire where it led. I tried to create a safe space and I’m pleased that it worked. It’s actually very hard work to take photos over an hours-long shoot. I kept thinking that it’s so much easier for me to be in front of the lens having sex! I’m still struggling to figure out the technical aspects of photography so I was disappointed in the overall quality of the results, but there are some shots that I really love. An erotic photo shoot is quite a creative rush. My models were amazing! If they decide they are comfortable with publishing any of these pics, I will certainly share. I’m hoping to practice more photography in the near future, so if you are in the Seattle area and want to model, drop me a line.
I spent an evening cuddling in bed with Joel and giggling about a few R&B/Blues songs by the light of the Yule tree. I adore nasty blues and these are great. The first one was Denise LaSalle singing “Lick it before you stick it,” with great lyrics like, ”You’re makin’ her feel good, but you can make her feel better/ If you treat your lady like a stamp and a letter/Lick it/Before you stick it” and advises men to “find the little man in the boat.” Then there’s “Strokin’,” by Clarence Carter with these lyrics, “I remember one time I made love/On the back seat of a car/An’ the police came an’ shined/His light on me, an’ I said/I’m strokin’/That’s what I’m doin’/I be strokin’.” And finally, Barbara Carr with, “If you really want to please me/You know you’ve got to stake your claim/And make hot love to me boy/’til I want to wear your name” from a song with the best title ever, “Bone me like you own me.” I so enjoy that these songs are strongly about owning your sexuality and prioritizing pleasure.
I’ve been masturbating a fair amount – sometimes testing out products that I’ll be reviewing this month, sometimes just to spend quality time with myself. I end up touching myself when I’m in the shower or alone in bed. It helps me to feel focused and grounded. I love drawing out the orgasms and playing with sensations. I also think that it’s easier right now to be with myself than to be with other people. I’m just more inwardly focused.
Which isn’t to say that I haven’t had sex with other people. Harold and I had some heavy foreplay going on one evening, but the wee one’s stamina was greater than ours. We all snuggled in to sleep instead of fucking. It was nice to be cozy, but I still fell asleep wanting more and feeling lonely. Thankfully, Harold and I had a date the next day.
Our date sex was fairly simple. We had sexted about all of the kinky things we wanted to do to each other, but when it came down to it, our love making was about intimate touch and making out. There was some power exchange. I kept him pinned while I caressed him with my nipples and kissed him all over. It’s totally hot to use my whole body 
to bring pleasure. The really amazing thing is that I’m currently menstruating so we got blood everywhere. I know that some people are squeamish about menstrual blood, but I love it. We got blood all over my thighs and Harold’s cock, balls, and hands. Beautiful!
Like most people, right now I’m struggling to balance home, work, family, and self-care with the holidays tossed in for extra fun. It’s actually going fine, but I want to make sure that sex stays on the list. In reality, sex is so much a part of who I am that I’m not really worried. More important than sex, is love. I am lucky to have so much love in my life. I think that’s my lesson for the holidays – letting the light of love fill me up. Even the places where I don’t love myself.