My Whole Sex Life

I’m skeptical of reviews done by people who don’t have the proper equipment to evaluate the product – for example, me reviewing the JackStrap, a device meant to help people in possession of a cock and balls to get off. I do not biologically possess a set of cock and balls. But here’s the thing, I approach sex like science. When I’m testing out a new product, I’m collecting data. I always try something several times before I review it, collecting as much information as possible, and lucky for me, I have two guys – so I can get both of them to try a penis-oriented product.

Jack Strap was sent to me by Ntimate, the same company that made the ingenious FleshWrap. I am eager to try out everything they can come up with based on my experience of FleshWrap. But what does the JackStrap do? From their website, “This simple silicone strap loosely connects your balls to the fingers you wrap around your cock. So, every stroke of your cock now also tugs and bounces your nuts.” Is this a good thing?

I rely on my guys to give me good information about penis-oriented things, like jacking off and the things they might do on their own to get off. Joel and Harold both confessed that sometimes it feels good to get some ball-bouncing action going, which is what Jack Strap is all about. Harold enjoys rough play with his balls, Joel is extremely sensitive and generally doesn’t like me to touch his balls.

It was Joel that tried JackStrap first. It really is a simple silicone strap with loops at either end. We struggled for a while to get his balls into the round opening, but he felt very cautious about pulling his scrotum through. I wrote to the company saying that we couldn’t get him in it, even with lube. The CEO of Ntimate, Jack Campbell, emailed me back himself:

Hmmm… That’s odd, as the JackStrap is stretchy enough to go around a 16 oz. drinking glass.

The procedure is to put both sets of fingers (both hands) into the larger round hole and pull them apart, and stretch the bejesus out of the JackStrap opening. Pull your hand maybe 4-inches (100mm) or so apart, creating an opening much, much larger than the target scrotum. Then while holding it that way, put it over the balls, and slip your finger out.

The point is that you cannot hurt or break the JackStrap by tugging it WAYYY open. And, a delicate approach is not best. Be aggressive. Grab the thing, slip all your fingers into the hole, pull it apart between your hands like you’re trying to break it, and just yank it wide freaking open.”

I gotta love a CEO who gives that kind of advice! Unfortunately, Joel wouldn’t let me near his junk again with the JackStrap, so I had to try it on Harold.

Harold I can be quite rough with and he had no problems getting JackStrap over his balls. His problem with JackStrap is that, sadly, he is not hung like a porn star. His penis is of average size and the finger holes for JackStrap hit much higher than the place he would normally hold his cock for beating off. Having too much give in the strap means that there is no ball-bouncing. It just didn’t really work.

Both of my test subjects said that, while the concept of JackStrap is good, there’s not really a lot of point in purchasing an item to do what they’ve already worked out ways of doing when it feels like the thing. They demonstrated masturbation techniques that elicited results similar to what JackStrap purports to do. My guess is that most men who would be interested, already have their method as well.

My conclusion to this science experiment? Based on my sample of two, JackStrap is not the ingenious device that FleshWrap is. It’s probably not worth shelling out the bucks for. But I have to rave about the company. Ntimate is an up and coming name in the sex toy industry, creating innovative products for men. Their customer service rocks my socks and I can’t wait to see what they do next.

Bottom line: unless you are a porn star who wants to jiggle and bounce your balls, wait for Ntimate’s next big breakthrough.

Grade: C-

 

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My first thought was that it looked like a giant crochet hook. My second, that it was very pink. Followed by, how quickly can I get this thing out of the package? I’ve been hearing great things about the toyfriend line for a while, so when Babeland sent me the toyfriend Starlet, I was pretty excited. The Starlet is an impressive package.

At 6.5 inches long and 1.25 inches diameter, this vibrator is just about my perfect size for internal use. With the broad flat, angled head, I believe that this is meant to be a g-spot toy. The slogan on the box seems to support this: “I’m up and coming and oh so hot, my ambition will hit your spot.” Except that it doesn’t for me. I think that my anatomy is different from most people’s because generally, g-spot toys don’t hit my g-spot.

That’s okay though, because Starlet works wonders on the clitoris as well. I like the broad head because it spreads vibration over a distributed area, but the edges are great if you want pinpointed stimulation. This vibe has 5 simple settings – 2 solid speeds (but I can’t tell the difference between them) and 3 patterns. I found all of the settings to be a bit buzzy against my clit. I quickly felt so sensitive that I had to move the vibrator away, but still managed to come with some creative positioning.

Starlet comes with batteries, which totally wins toyfriend bonus points from me. I will say that the batteries only lasted through a few uses, leaving me dripping wet, clutching the Starlet and yelling down the stairs to Harold to please grab me two AAA batteries. I caught a lot of shit for that. Anyway, the base unscrews and the batteries slide in, easy as can be.

The single button is on the bottom, making it straightforward to turn on and rotate through the settings. Turning Starlet off is as simple as holding the button down for 2 seconds. My only problem was that when I was using the vibe internally and trying to get a good position, I kept turning it off accidentally.

This vibe is made of high quality silicone. It’s hard and soft and smooth, except for the stamped in logo taking up about 2 inches on one side (I didn’t feel it when in use). I love that Starlet doesn’t pick up lint or anything. It’s totally easy to wash and care for, since it’s waterproof (I’ve used mine in tub and shower). Oh, and water-based lube is going to be best for this toy.

I generally like fairly quiet vibrators because it’s nobody’s business what I’m up to. I would say this one is medium to quiet. You can hear it over the shower noise, but not from the next room with the door open. It’s still kinda noisy, but I find it acceptable for my needs.

One of my favorite things about toyfriend is that they have little plastic stands that come with their vibes. I love that my Starlet can be stored or displayed standing up. You could collect the whole line and display them on your mantle like you are the winner of some erotic awards. Or it could simply decorate your bedside table and be right at your fingertips when in need. Mine is actually going to live in my shower.

There are a few downsides: I don’t like the color (toyfriend can call it magenta all they want, it’s still pink). It’s not a good toy for anal play. It doesn’t hit my g-spot, even though it feels nice inside my cunt. It can be difficult for me to orgasm using it, but generally when used in conjunction with other things, it’s a nice addition.

Although this isn’t a vibe that stands out in the sea of sex toys, there are some things I really like about Starlet: the size and shape is really good. I can get adequate depth and the flat surface of the head feels great on my clit. It’s high quality. I appreciate the construction and material of this vibe. The vibration patterns are actually effective. This is probably the first vibrator I’ve used where the special vibration patterns did anything for me.

Bottom line: probably a great first vibrator.

Grade: B

 

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The mermaid swam faster, golden peals of laughter tumbling over her shoulder as she gauged her lead on the octopus chasing her. The massive cephalopod was gaining, tentacles propelling him closer! Too late, she turned to find a large rock looming directly in front of her. She was trapped! She turned to face her pursuer, breathless with expectation. He pinned her to the rock with several strong arms. Tentacles curled tenderly around each of her nipples and his beak found the spot that made her scream in ecstasy every time. Just as her octopus lover brought her to the edge, tentacles slipped inside her mouth and cunt, filling her completely…

If you’ve ever had tentacle fantasies, Babeland has a dildo for you – Pipedream’s Icicles No. 24, aka Octopussy. The Icicles line is all hand blown glass “massagers” in a variety of shapes and sizes. No. 24 is a scintillatingly crafted, elegantly curved and pseudo suction-cupped tentacle. It’s a very fetching and entirely appropriate  shade of pink. This dildo is beautiful and brilliant!

I confess to being a bit intimidated by Octopussy at first. It’s girth and extreme texture made me worry about comfort, but with a bit of lube, everything was fine. I found the bumps and textures to be quite pleasant. The playful loop of the tentacled tip makes for a useful handle when thrusting. The length is perfect for me, but the curve is not quite right to hit my g-spot.

This is a blown glass toy, so everything is smooth. In fact, it feels great. I love glass – I like the weight and heft of it, the beauty of it, and how easy it is to clean up. Just soap and water, or even the top of the dishwasher. The best part about glass is that you can easily play with temperature, warming or cooling the toy to the desired level.

Octopussy’s biggest lure, however, is in the realm of fantasy. Women have contemplated tentacles as objects of lust for centuries. This Japanese erotic woodcut by Hokusai from 1814, called The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife, depicts a female diver in the amorous embrace of two octopuses. Even Picasso painted erotic images of women and tentacled sea creatures. Modern art forms, from Hentai to sci-fi aliens, are exploring the erotic potential of cephalopods. If you’ve ever imagined yourself in the sexy grasp of a tentacle, perhaps this dildo can put the octopus in your pussy.

Bottom line: quality toy full of fantasy potential.

Grade: B

 

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I’ve reviewed so many sex toys that I thought perhaps it was time to go back to one of the classics, My Hand. My Hand came with the original package and has grown and evolved with my needs over the years. In some ways it is the ultimate sex toy, the thing that all sex toys attempt to do better.

Versatility is really key with My Hand. Not only can My Hand be utilized to bring pleasure to myself, it can also be used with any of my partners! This amazing piece of equipment can replace a paddle, a vibrator, a dildo, a men’s masturbatory sleeve, a butt plug, and some nipple clamps. My Hand also feels amazing just skimming along the skin’s surface or digging in for deep massage.

I used to use My Hand to get myself off, but over time I’ve come to enjoy vibrators more. If My Hand has a flaw, it’s that I can’t get it to vibrate fast enough. Still, it’s always handy in a pinch. It’s very flexible and easy to position, always the right temperature, and usually just the right size. Regretfully, I am unable to reach my own g-spot with My Hand.

I can reach my girlfriend’s g-spot however. My Hand transmits an amazing amount of sensation. Having My Hand inside of her is one of my favorite things in life. I can also squeeze and tease her nipples with My Hand. My Hand is also quite useful with my men, especially around the cock and balls, where some digital manipulation is well received. My Hand is fantastic at squeezing, rubbing, and pumping. But that’s not all! My Hand also has some probing action – perfect for back-door play. In fact, nothing is better for prostate stimulation than My Hand. Impact play is a natural, of course. You can’t get any more basic than slapping and spanking.

There are times when My Hand does not have a long enough reach. I should point out, while the power supply is phenomenal (no batteries!), the energy is not infinite. My Hand does sometimes get tired and may even cramp. Also, it requires some upkeep. Mainly, nail trimming and moisturizing. My Hand is a snap to clean though – just use soap and warm water. And safer sex is smooth in a non-latex glove. I think My Hand looks suave and stylish in the black ones.

My Hand comes in a variety of colors, most of them perfectly suited to the owner – none of that terrible pink color that many sex toys come in. No sex toy can compete with the portability of My Hand (except perhaps My Tongue). My Hand won’t take up valuable luggage space or invite ridicule from TSA agents.

I just adore how subtle My Hand is. I use it every day in millions of ways, have it right out in plain sight, and no one would ever guess that I just had My Hand in my partner’s ass. It’s that great! I can shake hands at a business meeting and they would only know that I use My Hand to spank my partner if they read my blog. I love mixing it up like that, as though our bodies are just normal when we have sex. It’s so cool.

My Hand is way more than a sex toy. I use it to flip people off, write, pick my nose, scratch backs, and tie shoes. I’ve never had a dildo that could do all of that. No, My Hand is pretty fucking brilliant. And the best part is the low, low cost. Unless you’ve somehow lost the one you were born with (or managed to be born without one), My Hand is in your grasp right now.

Bottom line: don’t wave goodbye to the vibrator just yet, but give a round of applause to My Hand.

Grade: A-

 

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Things are turning serious between my vibrator and me. We spend time together nearly every day. What started as a mere flirtation has deepened into somewhat more. It’s not that the Mystic Wand is epic. Nope, Mystic is steady, dependable, and knows just how to touch me right. We can bathe together, even tease Harold’s cock together. I’m living a dream.

I knew we’d crossed some kind of line when I started drifting off during our time together, entering that spiritual/meditative space that I normally only achieve with a partner. You know (I hope), that floaty place, where you are both more in your body than normal and also connected to everything in the universe. Pleasure is very easy for me there. I find that I play around with the vibrator, trying to draw out that feeling before I finally come.

Actually, as much as I love the Mystic, my new relationship isn’t with the vibrator. It’s with me. I’m learning to love and make love with myself. I’m learning that the special places I thought I could only reach in connection with someone else actually are mine, to have any time I want. It’s feeling so good to surrender myself and just trance out on sensuality for a bit. I feel happy and centered afterward.

I’m just learning to love myself. I’m currently working on releasing anger. My anger has typically ended up as self loathing when I couldn’t express it. Now I am opening up and I have discovered that a boatload of resentment has been impeding my ability and right to get off. You know what? This is my body and I will use the Mystic Wand as many times as I want. We’ve got something good going on.

This must be what they mean by cosmic vibrations.

 

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What if your vibrator not only brought you to orgasm, but also made every single one of your orgasms more intense? Good, right? This is exactly what Jopen claims their new vibrator, Intensity, does for you. Intensity has several important features: an electro-stim kegel exerciser, an inflation pump, and vibrators for the g-spot and clitoris. Combined, these features make up the most comprehensive women’s sex toy I’ve ever seen. While Intensity is odd looking, it’s clearly designed with the user in mind.

It’s the electro stimulation that makes this “adult pleasure product” stand out. Story goes that Intensity arose out of the development of a medical device designed to help women strengthen their pelvic floor muscles. Age and childbirth can decrease pelvic muscle function, often causing incontinence, so such a device would already be quite valuable medically. Then women in their test group admitted that they were having intense orgasms, which happens because pelvic floor muscles are also partially responsible for the involuntary spasms that happen during orgasm. The medical team realized the erotic potential of their device and took it to Jopen. Intensity was born.

The shaft of Intensity has stimulation contacts on either side. When you turn the stimulation on, electrical currents cause the pelvic floor muscles to contract involuntarily – essentially exercising the muscles for you. It feels very strange, not at all unpleasant, but kind of like small punches or ripples inside the vagina. Intensity has 10 levels of electro-stim. I never made it past the 3rd level. That was plenty intense for me!

I have to confess that I find electrical play both scary and compelling. I have a bit of a medical fetish, so I’m drawn to anything that seems procedure-like. I really get off on Intensity in that way. But I’m terrified of shocking myself in a delicate area. The instructions for Intensity are very clear that you should not turn the power on until the shaft is inserted and make sure to turn the power off before removing the device in order to avoid electrical shock. Well, they don’t say it that way, but it’s what they mean.

Before inserting Intensity, they say to put the included Electrode Gel on the stimulation contacts. My supposition is that this is in order to increase conductivity. I used it the first couple of times and I was alarmed to feel how hot my vagina was getting. I thought that it was the electrical current. Turns out, their Electrode Gel contains parabens, and I react very badly to parabens. Yuck. I would recommend using your regular lube. The shaft is large and needs a bit of lube anyway. Harold and I ran experiments on the conductivity of various lubes with a multi-meter. Using the ohm setting we were unable to measure any conductivity in either the Electrode Gel or my favorite lube. In practice, my lube worked just as well – better since it didn’t burn.

Once you have Intensity lubed up, you can gently insert the shaft into the vagina. I found that I needed to lift the clitoral stimulator (the “bunny”) up and arrange it in a good place. Then comes my favorite part, pumping it up! The shaft expands inside the vagina in order to bring the stimulation contacts closer to skin. The accordianesque shape is weird and cool. I love this idea and I haven’t ever seen a sex toy that expands like Intensity. I really enjoy the feeling of fullness. The shaft deflates with a touch of a button, allowing for easy removal.

My experience was that electrical stimulation alone wasn’t enough to get me off. That’s why Jopen added vibration for both the clitoris and the g-spot. There are 5 levels of vibration. I tended to stay around the 3rd setting. It did seem to take some positioning to get the vibration just right. The clitoris stimulation tickles or buzzes more than the deep vibration that I tend to prefer, but I was able to orgasm most of the time.

There are several features of Intensity that I particularly admire. The control panel is perfect. It is actually oriented to the woman using it. The controls are angled so that I can see the buttons while I’m using the device. I know that seems like a small thing, but so many sex toys have inconvenient and non-intuitive controls! I appreciate that the power button is easy to access. Being able to turn the whole thing off with a single button is necessary because my orgasms were so intense that I needed Intensity to stop as soon as I started coming. Also, you never know when you might be interrupted. And I have that fear of being shocked. I also like that the electrical stimulation (marked S) and the vibration (marked V) are controlled independently. I wanted to explore the stimulation for a while before adding vibration. Another feature I like is the way the batteries are inserted: There’s a threaded plug like on a hot water bottle, which unscrews so that 4 AAA batteries can be inserted one at a time, positive end down. It’s an elegant, user-friendly design.

Intensity can be washed with soap and water or the toy cleaner of your choice. This is a toy that cannot be immersed in water, so I feel very cautious. Unfortunately, it is toy that get dirty very easily. The accordion folds of the pump trap lube and secretions and the silicone seems to pick up every bit of stray lint in the vicinity. It may be best to wash carefully both before and after each use.

This vibrator is pretty amazing. Intensity has some good things going for it. It turned me on, but it didn’t always get me off, I think because I wasn’t getting my brain involved in some fantasy to go with what my body was doing. I can’t say for sure if Intensity will improve all of my orgasms, but it makes sense that exercising the pelvic floor muscles this way could have health and sex benefits. Intensity is pricey at $250, but likely worth it for many people considering those potential benefits. I just wish it came in black – it totally doesn’t match my wardrobe or my bedroom.

Bottom line: interesting sex toy that has the potential to be life changing for women with weak pelvic floor muscles.

Grade: B+

 

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The Love Diamond vibrator has rendered me speechless. Well nearly. When California Exotics sent me this vibrator, my first thought was that it’s the tackiest sex toy I’ve ever seen. But hey, tacky can be kind of fun in the right context, right? Still, I was taken aback by the shiny hot pink Barbie case and princess jewel. Clearly it’s designed to speak to a woman’s inner 3-year-old. Who knew you could get a vibrator to match your My Little Pony collection?

Actually, the clear soft portions of the vibrator let you see the inner mechanisms at work. I think that’s pretty cool. I like figuring out how things work. On the down side, those parts smelled and tasted funny, like chemicals, even after washing. I used a condom just to be careful about what I put in my body. My vagina is very sensitive. I also used lube because it’s a lot of toy to be introducing to my cunt without some warm up.

The awesome thing about this vibrator is that it is designed for maximum impact. There is a dildo-like shaft that rotates and is meant to be used internally to massage the g-spot and a 2″ long protrusion to tease the clitoris. There are 8 levels of rotation and 8 of vibration, as well as 3 functions of vibration and pulsation for both motors. The end result is 200 different combinations of vibration and pulsation plus rotation. But no matter how many combinations I tried, I couldn’t come at all.

It’s a fantastic idea, to stimulate both the g-spot and the clit at once. My favorite way to orgasm is with my partner’s fingers on my g-spot and a vibrator on my clit. It’s intense and feels great. I hoped that Love Diamond would be like that. I really tried. About 6 different times. I wonder if my anatomy is different from most women’s and that rendered Love Diamond ineffectual. The rotating tip certainly stirred me up, but didn’t seem to hit the right places. I also had troubles lining the teaser up for clitoral stimulation. The right angle eludes me.

Love Diamond did turn me on. There was some excitement – thing were starting to happen, but no matter how long I went at it I never achieved satisfaction. After one play session in the shower (yes, it’s 100% waterproof!), I gave up in frustration and turned the shower head on my clitoris, coming in a matter of seconds. So maybe the best use for this toy is for foreplay and teasing.

It takes 3 AA batteries and the controls are easy to use. I like the power button because it’s straightforward to turn it off quickly. Each motor is controlled separately, so it’s possible to just use the teaser or just use the rotation. There is also a button that makes the rotation switch directions continually. It can be quite noisy. I didn’t feel like I could use it with the kids in the house.

I know that this is supposed to be a luxury high-end vibrator. There may well be people who get intense pleasure from using the Love Diamond, but sadly, I am not one of them. This might be the first vibrator I’ve ever tried that I can’t get off with at all.

Bottom line: all show, no go.

Grade: D

 

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FleshWrap, by Ntimate, has me more excited than any toy I’ve reviewed in the past year (except maybe the Mystic Wand). It’s difficult to explain, but the results are spectacular. It’s a “male pleasure system,” different from anything I’ve ever seen, and Harold and I have tried a lot of testicular experiments.

Don’t get me wrong, FleshWrap is not a CBT device. It’s like an oval made of hypoallergenic polycarbonate rod, bent into the shape of a taco. You massage and stretch the testicles until you can place the scrotum into the FleshWrap, with one end up against the perineum and the other resting against the balls. Then you carefully work the skin of the scrotum into the frame until you have enough room to insert a stainless-steel crossbar that holds everything in place. I know that sounds confusing, but it’s fairly easy in practice, and just takes a bit of time. Harold can do it faster by himself, but I think it’s more fun as part of our foreplay. I only worry that I might pinch him!

The result of wearing a FleshWrap is that the balls are pushed up toward the cock, while putting pressure on the perineum. It pulls the skin of the penis tighter, increasing hardness. It had an amazing effect on Harold. His erections while wearing this product have been incredible. We’ve even been able to fuck at times when he didn’t expect to be able to. His orgasms were improved because of the extra stimulation to his balls. It seemed to work especially well when I was on top.

Of course, we are into CBT, so we used FleshWrap to get up to some serious stuff. We usually tie off Harold’s balls for any kind of impact play. If he’s standing, I like to stretch his balls down. I love Fleshwrap when he is lying down because his balls are presented to me so perfectly. It also gives him a hard-on in an impressive way. I can smack his balls easily in this position. We also used FleshWrap as a platform for some needle play that was very successful.

Sadly, Fleshwrap does not fit all men. They say on their website that you have to be able to put your thumb and forefinger around the base of your scrotum after some massage and stretching. I know it also helps to be in a warm environment, but Joel was not able to fit into the FleshWrap no matter what. I hadn’t realized that there were such dramatic differences in scrotum type. Joel’s is more round, Harold’s more dangly. I was very disappointed not to get a second perspective.

I would mention that it’s easy to get confused about which way the FleshWrap goes. It can be frustrating to be trying to insert the crossbar and it not fitting no matter what you do, until you figure out that you’ve got the frame turned sideways. Two different sized frames come in the package, along with two different sized bars, and each bar can be used with either frame. While this gives you a fair amount of latitude for finding the best possible fit, we didn’t notice much difference no matter what the combination. The largest frame and smallest bar was the easiest to get into to.

I am so impressed with and excited by this device! I wish I could use it on both of my guys. I recommend Fleshwrap for everyone with a scrotum. Don’t be scared off if ball pain makes you cringe, because FleshWrap is NOT just a CBT toy, although it’s certainly an excellent starting point for CBT. I really love balls. I love to caress them and suck on them and squeeze them – and now I want to put them in a FleshWrap.

Bottom line: try out this brilliant scrotum device for intense pleasure!

Grade: A-

 

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Nothing is as iconic to kinky sex as a simple cock ring. It brings to my mind images of massively erect men ready to fuck for hours. Cock rings are to virility as lipstick is to bombshells, right? It’s a good fantasy, but I had never tried a cock ring with my partner until Babeland sent me the Ophoria v-ring. I admit, I was a little disappointed that it didn’t give him 12 inches. The back of my mind was hoping that a cock ring would equal a porn star erection. It doesn’t, but it does seem to add some fun interest to your sex play.

Ophoria is baby blue, velvety soft silicone with a vibrating bullet that fits snugly into a sleeve on one side. The bullet comes out in order to wash the ring and uses micro button batteries. The batteries are supposed to last about 40 minutes, but the great thing is that Ophoria comes 2 extra sets of batteries! You can also swap out the bullet for a different one if you want more intensity.

Condoms can be used with this product – they just go on first. We applied Ophoria when Harold was semi-erect. I pulled his scrotum through first, then pulled his cock through, so the cock ring circled the base of his penis and balls. Harold found Ophoria to be comfortable. The first time we tried it, we put the vibrating bullet up top, where it would stimulate my clitoris. I hated it. I was on top and bouncing against it hurt rather than titillated. It might feel better with him on top, but I didn’t like the little protruding knobs – I’m too sensitive. The second time, we turned the vibrations under his balls. He seemed to really like the extra sensation.

Cock rings are supposed to help trap blood in the cock in order to improve and extend erections. Does it work? I think so. Harold was not sold, his previous experiments with cock rings had not had the outcome he was hoping for. I felt that his erections were harder and that he orgasmed more explosively. If nothing else, it’s an inexpensive way to experiment with an erection. It’s almost always fun to try something new. Ophoria can even be used in strap-on sex to hold that bullet in place!

The product itself seems to be top quality. I’m impressed with the design and the manufacturing. While it may not be something I we use often, I think it’s a great toy to add to my collection.

Bottom line: Good clean fun, worth every penny.

Grade: B+

 

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I purchased my first set of nipple clamps 18 years ago. They looked a lot like miniature jumper cables. They were adjustable from painful to ohmygodIamgonnadie. I loved them. I put them on my boyfriend’s scrotum. I wore them when I masturbated, the heavy chain swaying, but really, they were kind of extreme. I find that, now that I’m older and like myself more, I’m looking for versatile clamps that offer a firm pinch without a lot of pain.

Kinklab’s Mandible Body Clamps seem to meet my needs. I asked Babeland to send me some nipple clamps to review and let them choose the best set to send to me. As always, Babeland has an excellent grasp of quality sex toys. Mandible Body clamps have a lot going for them (besides a low price of $20!)…

They are aesthetically pleasing. Kinklab says these babies are based on vintage surgical clamps from 1909. I know it’s shallow, but I can’t help but judge by appearances. I want to make sure that if I scene in public, all will be beautiful. If I am going to wear something, it had better look good. I love the shine of the Mandible Clamps’ chrome plated steel. The drape of the chain is attractive. The clamps are just large enough to make a statement, without being obnoxious. In other words, they look great.

They are versatile. The gap between the tips adjusts from 1/2″ to 1/16″ making it possible for the same set of clamps to be used on my large pierced nipple and my guy’s tiny nubbins. In fact, you are limited only by your imagination. I tried these clamps on my tongue and my labia. Both feel interesting! I also like that the chain that connects these is removeable.

They are comfortable. If you can say that about a body clamp. The tips are covered in rubbery PVC (latex-free!) and the ends bend out to grasp your appendage. The point is to tighten the clamps until they stay in place by themselves, not to cut off circulation. They even worked pretty well with my piercings.

They are very sexy. It turns me on to use these clamps on someone else. I like to pull on the chain while doing wicked things with my other hand. And I totally get off on using them myself. My intention is to bring my awareness to my nipples while also being engrossed in other sensations. I especially like being fucked from behind while wearing nipple clamps. The movement of the chain sends delicious thrills from my nipples, to my brain, to my cunt. It just feels good.

Of course, there are a few down sides. It did take me a few tries to figure Mandible Body Clamps out. I tend to turn the knob the wrong way fairly consistently. And it can be confusing to have two knobs – I once needed to remove a clamp quickly in a scene and I removed the chain instead. Like most clamps, these will sometimes slip off when you don’t want them to, but it’s a moment’s work to put them back on. I found it a little tricky to find a good position for the clamps around my piercings, but Kinklab’s design actually works much better than other clamps I’ve tried.

Overall, I really like Kinklab’s Mandible Body Clamps. They are not painful. Occasionally I long for painful clamps, but usually I prefer the level of sensation Kinklab provides here. The quality is obvious in design and construction. The look, function, feel, and fuck action are excellent!

Bottom line: perfect beginner and general use body clamps, but not for those looking for high levels of pain.

Grade: B+