My Whole Sex Life

Some of my favorite sex toys were never meant to be used in erotic ways. A journey through the hardware store always sparks my imagination: fiberglass reflectors for canes, giant zip-ties for bondage, lengths of chain to fill a vagina. Even a stop at the gas station can turn up a fly swatter for spanking or some cotton clothes line. I keep my eyes open for interesting possibilities – anything that might offer sensual delights.

I use these antique silver sugar cube tongs for just the right amount of pinch on nipples. We found them at a flea market in Geneva a few years ago. I love how beautiful the tongs are as well as functional!

 Wanna see what other people are doing for Sinful Sunday?

The applications of Clone-A-Willy are endless – what couldn’t you do with an exact replica of your (or your guy’s) penis, a vibrating portable model? I asked Clone-A-Willy to send me a kit to review because I was entranced with the possibilities. I could masturbate with his cock when we were apart. He could literally fuck himself(!?!) Problem was, I had two guys and one kit, but after some checking around, we determined that everyone would be okay if I fucked Harold with Joel’s cock. We would clone Joel’s willy. I love my crazy life.

Clone-A-Willy sent me a DVD along with the kit that demonstrated how the process works. It is unintentionally funny. I believe that the stars of this little video are porn stars. While I did get a good idea of what to do, the absurdity of the situation had me laughing. I would absolutely recommend reading the written instructions thoroughly before you start.

Joel and I sent to work while we had the house to ourselves. This is not a process that you want to interrupt in the middle. Cloning your willy is pretty simple, but there are several steps: mix up the molding powder, insert penis into molding tube, pour rubber into the prepared mold, insert vibrating unit, wait 24 hours and remove new vibrator.

The tricky parts are getting the water just the right temperature to mix with the molding powder and the fact that you have a very short amount of time to mix it up and get your dick into it. And cloning a willy is also very messy. I don’t think we were prepared for how much of the molding material would be displaced. We did trim his pubic hair, but shaving might have been better. I was also glad that we were in the kitchen over the tile floor, because it cleaned up pretty easily.

This is a partners sport. I think you could do this by yourself, but having someone there helping you to maintain an erection is easier and more fun. We certainly enjoyed the process, but it wasn’t inherently sexy. A cock ring helps some, however our resulting dong sadly did not capture Joel in his full glory.

This instant gratification grrrl had a hard time waiting a whole day for the rubber to set. I was excited to pull away the molding material and reveal the hot pink cock model. It’s eerie how much detail is transferred. There is a slight imperfection where the vibrator shows through. I think it’s where Joel was somewhat diagonal in the molding tube.

I was so excited about Clove-A-Willy that it wasn’t until we were partway through the process that the fact we were dealing with rubber penetrated my brain. I’m allergic to rubber. I welt up massively when rubber touches my skin, a fact I learned after applying liquid latex to my breasts. Even underwear with exposed elastic raises large welts. I can’t use this vibrator.

Actually, I’m not sure that anyone should use a willy clone without a condom. Rubber toys should not be shared without a condom and they are quite porous so they should be washed carefully and gently after each use. Mild antibacterial soap and water is appropriate.

Since I love the concept of Clone-A-Willy and enjoyed the molding process, I brainstormed a few ideas. First of all, Clone-A-Willy makes kits for soap, candles, and milk chocolate. Pretty romantic, right? But then we came up with a few other ideas…

What if you inserted sticks instead of vibrators? Then you would have a penis on a stick and you could have “cock fights” with your friends. Clone-A-Willy comes in a variety of colors. I’m envisioning color coordinated cocks and helmets, with full out, SCA style battles. It would be AWESOME!

My favorite idea is to take impressions of all of your conquests and mount them on plaques like hunting trophies. There’s even Clone-A-Pussy. Imagine sitting in your den in a smoking jacket explaining your sexual successes to some young thing, “Sure, he doesn’t look like much, but let me tell you…” and “Yes, I bagged that one on holiday in Spain…” and “Oh, that Romeo, hung like a stallion, but he snored like a bull…” I can totally see it. It makes me happy.

Bottom line: Everyone should try Clone-A-Willy at least once. Think out side the box.

Grade: B

Stronic Zwei is a jackhammer of pleasure. Seriously. I’ve just taken to calling it The Jackhammer, as in, “Honey, grab The Jackhammer and let’s have some fun!” In fact, it’s made by Fun Factory (one of my favorite sex toy companies) and they sent us one to try out ahead of their official release in July. We are extremely impressed. This is a high-end, well designed, very effective sex toy.

Zwei is so innovative and different that I don’t know how to describe it. The Stronic line uses new technology to create thrust. Stronic Zwei literally rocks back and forth in your hand. It creates amazing sensations on the prostate and g-spot, although not at the same time. It uses more of a natural fucking motion than a buzz. This is not a vibrator it’s a pulsator, and it’s here to rock your world.

I’m pleased with Zwei’s construction. It’s very solid and can definitely stand up to the repeated thrusting. Counter pressure did not seem to slow the toy down. The one I received is blue, but I suspect that it will also be available in black. Soft medical grade silicone covers the insertable part, with the handle being firmer.

There are three control buttons on the handle, one for power (press FUN) and two to navigate the 10 different pulse cycles (press + or  -). While the buttons are located in a place where you can easily operate them yourself, it can sometimes be difficult to find the right button during use. All of the rhythm pattern options are useful and pleasurable at different times. We had a hard time finding exactly the one we wanted at any given time, but I assume that gets easier with practice. Our favorite is the slowest of the thrusting patterns. An added feature is the ability to key lock the Zwei so it doesn’t go off at an inopportune moment, like during a TSA search.

Also on the handle are two little magnetic buttons – this is where the charging cord docks. It’s totally easy to use, but be prepared to have to charge your new device overnight (they say not more than 16 hours), as ours needed to be fully charged. That’s always disappointing for me when I want to try something out right away! It has held the charge well so far. We’ve, ahem, tested this product extensively without having to recharge it yet.

And guess what?!? Zwei is fully immersible!  Although I am a little nervous to risk losing such a fantastic toy, I can’t wait to use it in the bath or shower. It just can’t go in the dishwasher. Cleaning has not been a problem though. I simply wash Zwei with soap and water. It would be possible to use it with a condom, use spray on toy cleaner, or cleansing wipes.

One of the brilliant things about the way Stronic Zwei is constructed is the lip at the bottom of the insertable part. It looks kind of like the hilt of a knife, or the protective bit under a torch. Not only does this lip keep Zwei from getting lost in your bottom, it also works to contain any potential mess. Yes, you are probably going to need a fair amount of water-based lube to get this toy into your ass.

Stronic Zwei is fairly girthy. Harold and I enjoy prostate play, but this was bigger than anything we’ve put in his bum so far. We worked up to it without any difficulty, though, once the toy was turned on. The thrusting motion made it slip in easily. In each of us it seemed to be just big enough to have a sexy feeling of fullness without ever becoming uncomfortable. Zwei also has that bend at the tip to deliver pressure to just the right spot. It feels good in my hand. Harold says it’s way the best prostate toy he’s ever experienced (and he’s done some experimenting). As he put it, “Whoever designed this toy really knew what they were doing!”

This toy is perfectly usable by yourself, but I recommend it for partner play. I think it’s easier to operate if you are not in the throes of pleasure, but really, don’t you want to share the intensity of this pleasure with someone you love? I got a huge rush knowing that I was part of the experience when Harold just lay there with his mouth open, moaning. I got to help by playing with his balls and cock. I like to ramp things up. I enjoy watching him writhe.

Fun Factory is marketing Zwei as an anal toy, but generally anything that works on the prostate also is effective at g-spot stimulation. After watching Harold bliss out with the Zwei in his bum a couple of times, I had to try it on myself! I wasn’t disappointed. It feels fantastic. It doesn’t give me the same sensations as Harold’s fingers, but it’s good in a different way. I did use a vibrator on my clit and the combination was perfect. I especially liked coming with the Zwei in, my orgasm contracting against the continuing pulses and bringing my to orgasm again. Awesome!

I don’t know how much Fun Factory is going to retail Stronic Zwei for, but I think we would find a way to buy one, knowing how good it is.

Bottom line: Yes, yes, please yes!

Grade: A

A vibrating sound is occurring somewhere in my room and I can’t pinpoint the culprit. It’s not coming from my bag of sex toys. It’s not my computer. It’s not the lights humming. It’s not coming from outside. It seems to be emanating from a diorama constructed of my pre-schooler’s toys, but she’s not anywhere around. I look around the room some more. Nothing. I go back to the toys and realize that the centerpiece is in fact a vibrator – a vibrator that looks like an adorable giant rubber duck.

I Rub My Duckie is the most cheerful sex toy I’ve ever seen. Babeland was nice enough to send it to me and make me laugh. (There are so many obvious jokes!) Don’t think that this is just a novelty item, however. This tub toy packs some serious vibration! If you are willing to fuck a duck, this baby will rock your world.

My biggest complaint is that it looks too much like a child’s toy. It blends in well. My kids are all drawn to it. The minute I had it out of the package my children were instantly present, as though my Duckie had summoned them. My eight year old took it out of my hands and examined it. “We need a screwdriver to put batteries in it,” he informed me. “It doesn’t look watertight. I bet you can’t really take it in the bath.” Where did this kid come from?

Harold agreed with him, but the two of the worked together to get batteries (2 AA’s) into it. It’s serious business. Powered up, the Duckie loudly vibrated across the kitchen floor, to the 3 year old’s delight. You have to squeeze the duck’s tummy pretty hard to turn it on.(Yes, I know.) It cycles through 3 speeds before it shuts off, which is kind of a pain if you want to shut it off quick. It’s very loud no matter what. I’m not sure how they justify calling it quiet. This is not a subtle vibe, but it is strong.

Surprisingly, I Rub My Duckie is totally waterproof and can indeed go in the bath. We had a lot of fun in the bathtub, me and Duckie! I love how the vibrations create ripples across the water. I also like how my duck can just sit on the edge of the tub looking cute, unlike my vibrator, which really just looks like a vibrator and isn’t something I want to explain to children or guests. Like I mentioned before though, it makes a lot of noise and makes all the kids come running to see what is happening – not conducive to Momma getting off.

One of the most interesting features of I Rub My Duckie is the variety of surfaces. For example, the tail feels more intense than the head. Or you can use both ends at once! Or tickle yourself with the beak! It can be fun to explore the different sensations, although I also felt kind of silly. I mean, I’ve never had a duck eat me out before.

I Rub My Duckie is unbearably cute, but ultimately, I don’t think I’ll be using it as a vibrator. On the plus side, it’s strong enough to get me off, made of body safe materials, and I can use it in the bathtub. On the minus, it’s loud, difficult to turn on and off, and a bit awkward to use. In my world it looks too much like a toy for me to keep it to myself.

Bottom line: this duckie is hardworking, but too cute for his own good.

Grade: B

Related posts:

• Review: Hitachi Magic Wand
• Review: Intensity
• Review: My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit
• Review: Glow-in-the-Dark Vibrating Emperor
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When Babeland sent me the most epic vibrator of all time to review, a Hitachi Magic Wand, I immediately thought of the epic woman who introduced me to the Magic Wand, my metamour, Melanie. Here are her own words, explaining why you need to have a Hitachi:

If You Don’t Have a Hitachi Magic Wand, Go Get One!
guest review by Melanie

The Hitachi Magic Wand is the best vibrator ever. To say I recommend it highly is an understatement. If I were stuck on a desert island with ten things, and one of them was a generator, another would be a Magic Wand.

It’s not just me who thinks this. It really is the gold standard of vibrators. On the Internet, people say things like, “The Hitachi Magic Wand Massager is the best thing I ever bought my girlfriend for Christmas” and “Now I know why it’s called the OMG machine.” Betty Dodson, sex expert of sex experts, recommends it for women trying for their first orgasm. A few people complain about it, but don’t listen to the complaining. It’s like people who go to fish restaurants wanting steak. The Hitachi delivers on the thing it’s supposed to do: Give you a great clitoral orgasm.

The person who introduced me to the Magic Wand was my first girlfriend. She was amazed I’d never tried it, and she insisted I get one right away, jumping up and down and squeaking in her passion. She was right. Later on, my raves and our experience with it led a boyfriend of mine to buy an extra for me and also one for his wife. She raved too. Every woman I know, once she’s had a chance to use it a while, has given her thumbs-up.

Why is it the best? It’s intense. For some people it’s too intense, and for them I’d recommend what my girlfriend did, which was to put some layers of cloth between you and it. A pillowcase, a sheet, your jeans, whatever works. The point is, it’s intense enough that for me the orgasm is pretty much a sure thing, unless I’m exhausted. It is the promise of the sure orgasm that makes the Magic Wand magic.

It’s also the right shape for clitoral application. I know it has an attachment for G-spot play, but to me that’s just window-dressing—G-spot play is not what I use the Magic Wand for. It’s for that day-to-day, “I just want to come” thing, the bread and butter of vibrator use. For that, it’s perfect. Though it’s heavy and big, it’s maneuverable for something its size. And it’s made like a real appliance: It’s not some gacky purple or fluorescent green, it feels solid in your hand, and it holds up to intensive use.

For anyone who really likes intense sensation, it’s the only vibe I know that has such strength. It has two settings, but I rarely use the faster one. The strong vibration means strong orgasms. Like I say, it can take getting used to, but I’d recommend making the effort. It will reward you.

The only downside is that it’s a bit noisy. So put a pillow over it.

Buy one. Buy two, one for home and one for travel. (Though don’t do what I did and burn it out in a French hotel because you forgot the adapter. Quelle tragédie! It only works on 120-volt AC current.)

The Magic Wand is magic.

• Review: My Hand
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I’m skeptical of reviews done by people who don’t have the proper equipment to evaluate the product – for example, me reviewing the JackStrap, a device meant to help people in possession of a cock and balls to get off. I do not biologically possess a set of cock and balls. But here’s the thing, I approach sex like science. When I’m testing out a new product, I’m collecting data. I always try something several times before I review it, collecting as much information as possible, and lucky for me, I have two guys – so I can get both of them to try a penis-oriented product.

Jack Strap was sent to me by Ntimate, the same company that made the ingenious FleshWrap. I am eager to try out everything they can come up with based on my experience of FleshWrap. But what does the JackStrap do? From their website, “This simple silicone strap loosely connects your balls to the fingers you wrap around your cock. So, every stroke of your cock now also tugs and bounces your nuts.” Is this a good thing?

I rely on my guys to give me good information about penis-oriented things, like jacking off and the things they might do on their own to get off. Joel and Harold both confessed that sometimes it feels good to get some ball-bouncing action going, which is what Jack Strap is all about. Harold enjoys rough play with his balls, Joel is extremely sensitive and generally doesn’t like me to touch his balls.

It was Joel that tried JackStrap first. It really is a simple silicone strap with loops at either end. We struggled for a while to get his balls into the round opening, but he felt very cautious about pulling his scrotum through. I wrote to the company saying that we couldn’t get him in it, even with lube. The CEO of Ntimate, Jack Campbell, emailed me back himself:

Hmmm… That’s odd, as the JackStrap is stretchy enough to go around a 16 oz. drinking glass.

The procedure is to put both sets of fingers (both hands) into the larger round hole and pull them apart, and stretch the bejesus out of the JackStrap opening. Pull your hand maybe 4-inches (100mm) or so apart, creating an opening much, much larger than the target scrotum. Then while holding it that way, put it over the balls, and slip your finger out.

The point is that you cannot hurt or break the JackStrap by tugging it WAYYY open. And, a delicate approach is not best. Be aggressive. Grab the thing, slip all your fingers into the hole, pull it apart between your hands like you’re trying to break it, and just yank it wide freaking open.”

I gotta love a CEO who gives that kind of advice! Unfortunately, Joel wouldn’t let me near his junk again with the JackStrap, so I had to try it on Harold.

Harold I can be quite rough with and he had no problems getting JackStrap over his balls. His problem with JackStrap is that, sadly, he is not hung like a porn star. His penis is of average size and the finger holes for JackStrap hit much higher than the place he would normally hold his cock for beating off. Having too much give in the strap means that there is no ball-bouncing. It just didn’t really work.

Both of my test subjects said that, while the concept of JackStrap is good, there’s not really a lot of point in purchasing an item to do what they’ve already worked out ways of doing when it feels like the thing. They demonstrated masturbation techniques that elicited results similar to what JackStrap purports to do. My guess is that most men who would be interested, already have their method as well.

My conclusion to this science experiment? Based on my sample of two, JackStrap is not the ingenious device that FleshWrap is. It’s probably not worth shelling out the bucks for. But I have to rave about the company. Ntimate is an up and coming name in the sex toy industry, creating innovative products for men. Their customer service rocks my socks and I can’t wait to see what they do next.

Bottom line: unless you are a porn star who wants to jiggle and bounce your balls, wait for Ntimate’s next big breakthrough.

Grade: C-

Related links:

• Review: My Hand
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• Review: Tenga Eggs
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My first thought was that it looked like a giant crochet hook. My second, that it was very pink. Followed by, how quickly can I get this thing out of the package? I’ve been hearing great things about the toyfriend line for a while, so when Babeland sent me the toyfriend Starlet, I was pretty excited. The Starlet is an impressive package.

At 6.5 inches long and 1.25 inches diameter, this vibrator is just about my perfect size for internal use. With the broad flat, angled head, I believe that this is meant to be a g-spot toy. The slogan on the box seems to support this: “I’m up and coming and oh so hot, my ambition will hit your spot.” Except that it doesn’t for me. I think that my anatomy is different from most people’s because generally, g-spot toys don’t hit my g-spot.

That’s okay though, because Starlet works wonders on the clitoris as well. I like the broad head because it spreads vibration over a distributed area, but the edges are great if you want pinpointed stimulation. This vibe has 5 simple settings – 2 solid speeds (but I can’t tell the difference between them) and 3 patterns. I found all of the settings to be a bit buzzy against my clit. I quickly felt so sensitive that I had to move the vibrator away, but still managed to come with some creative positioning.

Starlet comes with batteries, which totally wins toyfriend bonus points from me. I will say that the batteries only lasted through a few uses, leaving me dripping wet, clutching the Starlet and yelling down the stairs to Harold to please grab me two AAA batteries. I caught a lot of shit for that. Anyway, the base unscrews and the batteries slide in, easy as can be.

The single button is on the bottom, making it straightforward to turn on and rotate through the settings. Turning Starlet off is as simple as holding the button down for 2 seconds. My only problem was that when I was using the vibe internally and trying to get a good position, I kept turning it off accidentally.

This vibe is made of high quality silicone. It’s hard and soft and smooth, except for the stamped in logo taking up about 2 inches on one side (I didn’t feel it when in use). I love that Starlet doesn’t pick up lint or anything. It’s totally easy to wash and care for, since it’s waterproof (I’ve used mine in tub and shower). Oh, and water-based lube is going to be best for this toy.

I generally like fairly quiet vibrators because it’s nobody’s business what I’m up to. I would say this one is medium to quiet. You can hear it over the shower noise, but not from the next room with the door open. It’s still kinda noisy, but I find it acceptable for my needs.

One of my favorite things about toyfriend is that they have little plastic stands that come with their vibes. I love that my Starlet can be stored or displayed standing up. You could collect the whole line and display them on your mantle like you are the winner of some erotic awards. Or it could simply decorate your bedside table and be right at your fingertips when in need. Mine is actually going to live in my shower.

There are a few downsides: I don’t like the color (toyfriend can call it magenta all they want, it’s still pink). It’s not a good toy for anal play. It doesn’t hit my g-spot, even though it feels nice inside my cunt. It can be difficult for me to orgasm using it, but generally when used in conjunction with other things, it’s a nice addition.

Although this isn’t a vibe that stands out in the sea of sex toys, there are some things I really like about Starlet: the size and shape is really good. I can get adequate depth and the flat surface of the head feels great on my clit. It’s high quality. I appreciate the construction and material of this vibe. The vibration patterns are actually effective. This is probably the first vibrator I’ve used where the special vibration patterns did anything for me.

Bottom line: probably a great first vibrator.

Grade: B

Other posts you might enjoy:

• Review: My Hand
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• Review: Silicone Jack Rabbit
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The mermaid swam faster, golden peals of laughter tumbling over her shoulder as she gauged her lead on the octopus chasing her. The massive cephalopod was gaining, tentacles propelling him closer! Too late, she turned to find a large rock looming directly in front of her. She was trapped! She turned to face her pursuer, breathless with expectation. He pinned her to the rock with several strong arms. Tentacles curled tenderly around each of her nipples and his beak found the spot that made her scream in ecstasy every time. Just as her octopus lover brought her to the edge, tentacles slipped inside her mouth and cunt, filling her completely…

If you’ve ever had tentacle fantasies, Babeland has a dildo for you – Pipedream’s Icicles No. 24, aka Octopussy. The Icicles line is all hand blown glass “massagers” in a variety of shapes and sizes. No. 24 is a scintillatingly crafted, elegantly curved and pseudo suction-cupped tentacle. It’s a very fetching and entirely appropriate  shade of pink. This dildo is beautiful and brilliant!

I confess to being a bit intimidated by Octopussy at first. It’s girth and extreme texture made me worry about comfort, but with a bit of lube, everything was fine. I found the bumps and textures to be quite pleasant. The playful loop of the tentacled tip makes for a useful handle when thrusting. The length is perfect for me, but the curve is not quite right to hit my g-spot.

This is a blown glass toy, so everything is smooth. In fact, it feels great. I love glass – I like the weight and heft of it, the beauty of it, and how easy it is to clean up. Just soap and water, or even the top of the dishwasher. The best part about glass is that you can easily play with temperature, warming or cooling the toy to the desired level.

Hokusai, 1814

Octopussy’s biggest lure, however, is in the realm of fantasy. Women have contemplated tentacles as objects of lust for centuries. This Japanese erotic woodcut by Hokusai from 1814, called The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife, depicts a female diver in the amorous embrace of two octopuses. Even Picasso painted erotic images of women and tentacled sea creatures. Modern art forms, from Hentai to sci-fi aliens, are exploring the erotic potential of cephalopods. If you’ve ever imagined yourself in the sexy grasp of a tentacle, perhaps this dildo can put the octopus in your pussy.

Bottom line: quality toy full of fantasy potential.

Grade: B

Other posts you might enjoy:

• Review: Fun Factory’s Amor
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I’ve reviewed so many sex toys that I thought perhaps it was time to go back to one of the classics, My Hand. My Hand came with the original package and has grown and evolved with my needs over the years. In some ways it is the ultimate sex toy, the thing that all sex toys attempt to do better.

Versatility is really key with My Hand. Not only can My Hand be utilized to bring pleasure to myself, it can also be used with any of my partners! This amazing piece of equipment can replace a paddle, a vibrator, a dildo, a men’s masturbatory sleeve, a butt plug, and some nipple clamps. My Hand also feels amazing just skimming along the skin’s surface or digging in for deep massage.

I used to use My Hand to get myself off, but over time I’ve come to enjoy vibrators more. If My Hand has a flaw, it’s that I can’t get it to vibrate fast enough. Still, it’s always handy in a pinch. It’s very flexible and easy to position, always the right temperature, and usually just the right size. Regretfully, I am unable to reach my own g-spot with My Hand.

I can reach my girlfriend’s g-spot however. My Hand transmits an amazing amount of sensation. Having My Hand inside of her is one of my favorite things in life. I can also squeeze and tease her nipples with My Hand. My Hand is also quite useful with my men, especially around the cock and balls, where some digital manipulation is well received. My Hand is fantastic at squeezing, rubbing, and pumping. But that’s not all! My Hand also has some probing action – perfect for back-door play. In fact, nothing is better for prostate stimulation than My Hand. Impact play is a natural, of course. You can’t get any more basic than slapping and spanking.

There are times when My Hand does not have a long enough reach. I should point out, while the power supply is phenomenal (no batteries!), the energy is not infinite. My Hand does sometimes get tired and may even cramp. Also, it requires some upkeep. Mainly, nail trimming and moisturizing. My Hand is a snap to clean though – just use soap and warm water. And safer sex is smooth in a non-latex glove. I think My Hand looks suave and stylish in the black ones.

My Hand comes in a variety of colors, most of them perfectly suited to the owner – none of that terrible pink color that many sex toys come in. No sex toy can compete with the portability of My Hand (except perhaps My Tongue). My Hand won’t take up valuable luggage space or invite ridicule from TSA agents.

I just adore how subtle My Hand is. I use it every day in millions of ways, have it right out in plain sight, and no one would ever guess that I just had My Hand in my partner’s ass. It’s that great! I can shake hands at a business meeting and they would only know that I use My Hand to spank my partner if they read my blog. I love mixing it up like that, as though our bodies are just normal when we have sex. It’s so cool.

My Hand is way more than a sex toy. I use it to flip people off, write, pick my nose, scratch backs, and tie shoes. I’ve never had a dildo that could do all of that. No, My Hand is pretty fucking brilliant. And the best part is the low, low cost. Unless you’ve somehow lost the one you were born with (or managed to be born without one), My Hand is in your grasp right now.

Bottom line: don’t wave goodbye to the vibrator just yet, but give a round of applause to My Hand.

Grade: A-

Other posts you might enjoy:

• Review – Fun Factory’s Stronic Zwei
• Review: Fun Factory’s Amor
• Review: njoy Fun Wand
• Lubricant update
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Things are turning serious between my vibrator and me. We spend time together nearly every day. What started as a mere flirtation has deepened into somewhat more. It’s not that the Mystic Wand is epic. Nope, Mystic is steady, dependable, and knows just how to touch me right. We can bathe together, even tease Harold’s cock together. I’m living a dream.

I knew we’d crossed some kind of line when I started drifting off during our time together, entering that spiritual/meditative space that I normally only achieve with a partner. You know (I hope), that floaty place, where you are both more in your body than normal and also connected to everything in the universe. Pleasure is very easy for me there. I find that I play around with the vibrator, trying to draw out that feeling before I finally come.

Actually, as much as I love the Mystic, my new relationship isn’t with the vibrator. It’s with me. I’m learning to love and make love with myself. I’m learning that the special places I thought I could only reach in connection with someone else actually are mine, to have any time I want. It’s feeling so good to surrender myself and just trance out on sensuality for a bit. I feel happy and centered afterward.

I’m just learning to love myself. I’m currently working on releasing anger. My anger has typically ended up as self loathing when I couldn’t express it. Now I am opening up and I have discovered that a boatload of resentment has been impeding my ability and right to get off. You know what? This is my body and I will use the Mystic Wand as many times as I want. We’ve got something good going on.

This must be what they mean by cosmic vibrations.

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