I adore the snow! I love watching it fall and I like to go and play outside. There is something so cozy about it snowing outside. I spent a lot of time yesterday warm in my flannel sheets, sipping hot drinks, and gazing out the window at the gorgeous flakes coming down. Snow just feels sexy, in that delicious, gotta have it kind of way. I can’t decide whether snow or sex is more fun, so I try to combine both!
See what other sexy bloggers are up to today!
Photo courtesy of Penny
Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Please check the site in January to find out if e[lust] will be continuing under a new owner, or not. Thanks for participating!
~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~
~ e[lust] Editress ~
~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
Ask Aunty Dee: Anal Play and Buttplugs
Being sexy
I’m Monogamish, Apparently
Orgasms, Spontaneous
Profoundly in love
Rape Fantasies
Why Don’t You Go Fuck Yourself?
Kink & Fetish
An Unexpected Gift
Cathartic Sex
Confession: The Stalking of a Doll
He got off to my laugh
Kink Guide to Fifty Shades Darker: conclusion
Kinky erotica from the top’s point of view
Pain and Collars
Pegging Prep for Virgin Territory
The Cowboy (1 of 4)
Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor
Erotic Writing
Desperation
Dream Lover
Everything You Give
From the Inside
Get Back in Line
Just Hands
Lust in the Dunes – Part VII: The Love Elite
nching on “Special K”
On The Phone
Out of the Blue
Tease
Take Two
The Stranger
White Stockings, White Stockings She Wore
What if?
Writing Challenge – A Question
Photo courtesy of @iSlut_ of A Slut’s Memoir
Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #41? Start with the newly updated rules, come back October 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates! I’d like to also direct your attention to a new Editor’s Letter that’s up.
~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~
The Bitch is Back - The temperature at the table drops several degrees. “Like that?,” I say. ”Is that what you want?”
On Women Who Like Sex - I like sex as much as any man I know. I am not a weirdo, I am not a slut, and I am not in any excessive danger.
Secret Secretary- There she was in the reception room on my couch, lying on her back, legs spread, skirt hiked up over her torso, her hands frantically feeling between her legs.
~ e[lust] Editress ~
Street Harassment: It’s everywhere, all the time
~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~
Thoughts: Regarding Limits In BDSM
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
Begin rant
Communication Breakdown
Family Planning
Great Expectation
My Fantasy
Rituals, Symbolism, Kink, and of course ME
Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor
How You Know You Are On The Rag
Intersecting
Kink & Fetish
Anal Slut
Belted
Flogger Use and Safety from a Beginner
Janet’s Magical Toybag
Protest Much?
Property of Seven
Playing With Fire
Please
Tonight I am going to fuck your (slave) ass
The Long-Anticipated Gangbang Post
Welcome To The Club
Erotic Writing
Almost Broken
Alive
A Bad Habit
A Sinner Sits for Sacred Sunday Service
BBQ & Beer
Birthday Sex
Cap D’Agde -spit roast with a stranger
Dirty Talk
Lolita Twenty-Twelve, Part Five
Matched
Oral at a Sex Party
once in a while
Revelation
Random memories: First love
Saturday Morning Pussy
Stress Reliever – Lubed Fingers
The shopping assistant
The Sting of the Crop
You
Photo courtesy of Ava Grace
Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #40? Start with the newly updated rules, come back September 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
~ Top 3 ~
Never Pinch a Sadist: 50 Shades of Plaid – If you don’t know kink, don’t feel pressured into it. If you wonder what it is about, join Fetlife and find local event to teach you about it.
Collars & closure & owning myself – there is triumph in realizing that your paths are diverging, repacking your shit, and moving on with dignity and respect.
The Quarry – We agreed to meet up on the weekend and go out to the quarry. It was an old, flooded quarry. I didn’t know it, but the queers had taken it over.
~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~
~ e[lust] Editress ~
“I can’t orgasm without a vibrator” So What? – Embrace it. Bring it in to your partnered sex life. Be happy that you can achieve orgasm whatever way that works for you.
Erotic Writing
A Guest for Dinner
A Beautiful Need
A Purring Machine
A Hard Man is Good to Find
Chlorine Kisses
In a different world
I Crave You!
Lolita Twenty-Twelve, Part Four
Mojo Back
My 69th Orgasm
Owned Part 4
Sensual room service
Summertime
Tease Me
Travelling
The Space Between
The Text
The Wicked Wench of Wupert Stweet
The Desk of Power
Use Me
What I’m thinking about when I’m…
When Frederick Met Camille
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
Living with an Alpha Sub
Make Her Cum
Restless
Swinging and safe sex
Talking with the Lights Off
The Promiscuous Bisexual
Why Do I Have More Respect For Men Than MRAs?
What not to do for anal sex
Wants, Needs & Poly
Wifi Sex?
Kink & Fetish
A Boot Scene
Consent as Torture
Mores and Behavior
Pursuit of Squirting
Playing With Lightning
Submissive men: A celebration of beauty
strapping on…my first time
Submission for a Femdom Facesitting Film
Steeped
rethinking warmup
Photo courtesy of Molly at Molly’s Daily Kiss
Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #38? Start with the newly updated rules, come back July 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
~ Top 3 ~
Coming to Terms with Being Gay – From the time I was seven I was raised Mormon, which meant I wasn’t allowed to have a girlfriend until I was 16 or to have sex until I was married.
What I Want – I want to be humiliated. Call me a slut. Call me a whore. Slap my face. Expose me.
Dinner Party Entertainment – At that moment, J’s eyes went wide–he finally realized I was leaving him there, tied to the bed.
~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~
My Abstinence Only “Sex Education” – The speakers were a married, Christian couple, and the man told us about how he had pledged to stay a virgin until he was married.
~ e[lust] Editress ~
Your Crappy Writing Turns Me Off – Your written words are your clothes, your power, your voice, your facial expressions and that by which we measure intelligence, personality and even attractiveness.
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
A New Found Respect for Bondage Educators
Cunt: Healing sexual abuse
Equal but Different
Fuck you. Without a condom
Harper Eliot’s Guide to Surviving Drop Alone
PolyAnna’s Musings: What About the Kids
Settling down–bullshit free
Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor
Sweet Valley High Meets the Story of Oh My!
Women’s rape fantasies
Why May is Nat’l Masturbation Month
Erotic Writing
Ache
A Word on What Your Words Do to Me
Anything the Lady Wants
Breathless
Cemetery Sex
Dropped Call
Fucking a Stranger’s Wife While He Watched
Folly, part 4
Getting His Attention
Jerk and Tug
Jill’s Look Back at Masturbation Month
Like a Faggot
Phontographs (fiction, part 1)
Release
Senses and Scents
Spearmint Rhino
Swing: Part I
The Dance
Touch Me, Tease Me
Kink & Fetish
Earning My Wings
fantasy with beast/the train ride
His first crop spanking
Learn the rope of knots: Larks Head
Popping my anal cherry
Stress Relief
Staying power
The Cutting Edge
Tie Me Up! ~ I think…
Why chastity is hot
What I Like and Why
Photo courtesy of A Couple of Wankers
Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #37? Start with the newly updated rules, come back June 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
~ Top 3 ~
The Cheshire Cat – Alice felt whiskers tickle her skin and was wracked with sobs of fear. “Oh, little girl, don’t cry. You can stand much more than you think you can.”
Vaginal Overexposure? – I see a lot of vaginas. A lot. One of my favorite things to tell Vincent and his friends is, “I see more vagina that you ever will!”
Marionette – “I’m writing out a fantasy of mine, but I’m not sure what to do with some of it. I’m hoping you can help me figure it out.” “Yes Ma’am.”
~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~
Journeys – These insecurities are at the root of my fears. I don’t know how to combat them, how to turn those tapes off in my head.
~ e[lust] Editress ~
I’ve found a new secret to my G-spot – This g-spot thing might be hard to find since it can’t be mapped, but believe me it is real and with time, exploration, a good clitoral orgasm and a willing set of fingers and/or dildos you CAN find it.
Kink & Fetish
A Pixie Calls Me Daddy
Afterwards, kissing
Another Try at Topping
Bent Over and Exposed
Female Orgasm: Where Do You Get Off?
Hurts
Letting the Sadist Out to Play
more con-slut…
pain & sadism: how they intertwine
Tied Up and Tossed in a Corner
Waiting My Turn
Warm Up
Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
Buying a Toy: What You Need to Know
Bring on the wanks
I want your sex
My Mother, The Whore
Poly Fallacies #4
Q&A # 3: Childhood BDSM Fantasies
Sticks and Stones…
Small World of Swinging
The Gauge
Us Lately
White and Nerdy
Erotic Writing
Around and ’round
Down
Golden girl
Hard Love
Hot sunny sex on a rainy day
It Ain’t Sex
I Want to be Watched
I made him watch me masturbate
Jealous
Lazy Day
Lost in Submission
Making out
On Display
Pussy Doctor
Perfect Cover
Pussy Eating- The Fun Way
Rack and Ruin part II
Shower Scene
The Third Date
Tickle Monster
Waiting for It
Watching Skylarks
Today marks 18 months of blogging since my first post on June 1st, 2010. This is also my 300th post!
When I first agreed to blog my sex life, I didn’t have any idea what I was getting into, I just did it, without thinking about how it would impact my life. It took me a while to find my voice. I still like to experiment with different formats and approaches. While sex has always been a big part of my life, it’s been interesting to frame my life in terms of sex. It’s made me broaden my definition of sex.
I find I’m sometimes tempted to do something sexually just because it would make a good blog post, but that doesn’t make a huge difference because I’m also just adventurous. Many times my sex dates include testing out products for review. My partners know that anything is fair game for the blog. But my life is by no means all sex. I am the mother of 5 children, and you wouldn’t believe (or maybe you would) how many posts I write with Blues Clues or Barney in the background.
It’s been a great trip – and I plan to keep going! I want to share with you some of my favorite experiences so far…
I am most proud of my gender series. I learned so much interviewing Colleen, David, Jim, Kyle, and Aleksa. I’m still learning about gender all of the time, especially my own. I wrote about my experience packing a cock in My Inner Boy. I’ve worked harder on this series than anything else I’ve done for the blog and it’s been totally worth it in terms of what I got out of it – especially the friends I made.
Making erotic videos is something that I’d like to get better at. (I have plans!) Of the ones we’ve already made, a few stand out for me. The Rainy Afternoon video is precious to me because of the energy between Harold and me. We had a lot of technical difficulties, so the result is very “art house,” but I was pleased with it; a genuine connection is harder to capture than anything. I also have to mention the More Love video that we made for all the poly people on Valentine’s Day (and for a fan who wanted to see some plushy sex). Harold and I should both be embarrassed by our acting, but it was sooooo fun to make. I like being so totally silly. I was disappointed that it didn’t provoke more of a reaction.
We got a huge reaction over our Figging Lab Experiment and the Figging Lab Results. Our labs are written rather tongue-in-cheek, but people took them pretty seriously. I am disappointed that I made up such a beautiful data sheet, but that no one to date has returned a completed experiment to me. That’s too bad! Another post discusses the mathematics of Viagra. Did you know that Viagra leads to math?
Some of my posts have been deeply emotional and reveal much of my inner workings. You can see my journey over time working through sex abuse issues and wanting to be topped in The Opposite of Love, Sex in the Shadow, Okay on the Outside, Walking through the Darkness, Fear and Arousal, Magic Words, and Deep Dark Fantasies.
My trip to Hawaii was big for me. I got to spend time with my girlfriend, Erika, and I met a bunch of really fabulous people. All of the foliage in Hawaii looks erotic.
Another pivotal moment for me was the first close up picture of my cunt I’d ever seen. I wrote about it in Ready for my Close Up, talking about all of my conflicting feelings.
It’s interesting to read Is Thin the Only Sexy? written almost a year ago. I talk about my body image after seeing nude pictures of myself and realizing that I was fat. I decided that fat is still sexy. It totally is. But I also realize that I’ve lost 35 pounds since then. I feel much more comfortable in my body now, but I still look at pictures of myself and feel unhappy.
Some of my favorite posts have to do with being part of a family. My children drew pictures for Secret Life of a Mommy. In Love Song for my Metamour I got to express all of the wonderful things I feel about sharing my life with Melanie. A Poly Jolly Christmas talks about how blessed I feel to have my large poly family together over the holidays.
Finally, I do a lot of reviews, but a few things have really changed my life. One of them is the book, I’ll Show You Mine, which features gorgeous photographs of vulvas. Another is Buck Angel’s Sexing the Transman, a documentary/porn flick that taught me a ton about transmen. Also, working with the photographer, David Steinberg, over two photo sessions was deeply moving.
Photo by David Steinberg, 2011
As you can see, blogging has had a huge impact on my life. These posts represent my highs and lows, ins and outs of the last 18 months. I want to thank all of our readers for your thoughtful comments and constant support. Your participation means so much to me!
This is my 250th post. That seems like a big deal. Those 250 posts were written over the past 14 months, documenting pretty much the whole of my sexual experience and thoughts. Writing for the blog has become a part of my life, just a part of what I do. It is a record of my life as a sex maven, but it’s also about me, stripped naked and talking about something real.
It seems to work. Our site is not huge, but it’s been building steadily from the beginning. We’ve had visitors from 123 countries around the world. We get between 150 and 350 visitors per day and between 500 and 1000 page-views per day. Our most popular posts of all time have been our Figging Experiment posts, which have been viewed a collective 18,000 times. We started letting women tell their stories about their sexuality. I’ve written 15 review posts, spanning a variety of objects and experiences. We’ve made 7 explicit videos. We did a week-long special on gender. We’ve been featured on various websites and gotten good reviews. We’ve made friends with fabulous people.
I really appreciate all of the support we’ve gotten as we grow. It’s the community and the culture of WholeSexLife that are really important to me and to our overall vision. We are still working on creating the sex positive social networking, erotic marketplace, and education site we designed 18 months ago. The going is slow and our lives are busy. Keeping this blog keeps me going. I’m having a blast. All of the people who open up their lives to me keep me going. Thank you!
I’m just going to keep blogging and keep expanding. There’s so much more to do and I’m having so much fun. If you’d like to help out and get involved, I’m looking to open up WholeSexLife forums and I could use some moderators. (Do you want to get used?) I’d also love to get more female-identified people sharing their stories in the Sirens section. I want to hear about what is real for you. If there are other ways you’d like to be involved, let me know. Email me at evoe@wholesexlife.com.
I’m so grateful to you all!
Sometimes I lose sight of my vision. This week things have come together in such a way that I am reminded of why I do this work. Of my reasoning behind WholeSexLife as it will be when we launch the actual site. I want to eradicate sex abuse.
There’s a lot of fear around abuse. It’s occurred to me recently that real safety comes in knowing yourself and being very open about who you are. It’s somewhat counter-intuitive. When I’m scared I want to pull everything in close, but I know that self confidence is a huge deterrent to abuse. I don’t look like an easy mark. I won’t put up with any crap that isn’t good for me and I will actively seek out healthy relationships. When I am open about my sexuality I am establishing clear boundaries about what is acceptable to me. It lets others know that I don’t have any handles around stuff I haven’t worked through yet – no shame to be used against me.
I want our website to be a place where people can learn about themselves and explore their sexuality. It’s important that everyone feels safe. I want to make sure that we create a community and an environment where abusive or predatory behavior is not accepted in any way. In turn, I believe that WholeSexLife will reduce the number of abusers out there. I think that many abusers become so because they are repressed and don’t have an outlet to learn about themselves.
I think it’s time for everyone to feel good about themselves as a sexual being and feel free to express that in positive ways. It’s also time for us as a society to demand safety, to demand an end to sex abuse, to demand culture that supports healthy sexuality. Let it start right here.
Do I have your attention now? Good, because I feel like such a hypocrite. I’m always telling other people to explore their sexuality and pay attention to what feels right for them. I’m always complaining about how the porn that’s out there right now doesn’t do anything for me. You know why? Because I’ve been looking in the wrong places. You know what really, really, really turns me on? Yep, hot gay male porn.
This afternoon Joel sent me one of those e-cards as a sort of, have a happy day, pick-me-up things. It’s totally sweet. Only this card has a warning, “by clicking on the link below, you’ll be taken to our gay adult oriented website, overflowing with naked skin, ripped muscle, and hot young college guys!” Wow. And I follow the link, but it doesn’t work. So I just go to the Corbin Fisher website.
I can’t even describe how I started feeling looking at those clean-cut, smooth bodied, well muscled young men touching each other intimately. It’s like it got harder to breathe. I felt excited and a little scared, like riding a ferris wheel, kind of a tingly thrill that travels from my chest to the bottoms of my feet, but mostly stays in my cunt. My mouth got wetter and my tongue kept traveling from the roof of my mouth to my lips. I really wanted to taste those boys.
I got completely sucked in. I read the story outlines for the porn movies. I read about the company. I read model bios and started feeling like maybe I kind of knew them. I wanted to know a whole lot more. I downloaded wall paper and cleaned up my desktop icons so I could see all of the naked boys. They’re so sweet and sexy. I don’t even want to have sex with them. I want to watch them have sex with each other. Maybe tell them what to do. OMG, I am so in lust.
I keep telling myself that it’s business. It’s research. It’s important for me to be aware of what’s out there. I’m curious about how they make their movies. I appreciate how well done their website is. I’m sure there is a ton of stuff for me to learn. So why am I drooling on my keyboard?
I feel so ridiculous. I’m like a 12 year old girl with a Tiger Beat magazine, fantasizing about the current heartthrobs. Excited over a few muscles? It just isn’t me. Except… in retrospect, I should have seen this coming. I’ve made Joel and Harold sit through countless bad art flicks just because there’s gay male sex. In fact, right now Netflix is sending me La ley del Deseo, featuring a young Antonio Banderas in an explicit gay sex scene. I’ve written erotica with gay male sex. It’s always gotten me hot. I’ve just never thought to check out the porn.
I’ve just gotten off the phone with Harold, where I begged him to buy me internet porn. I can get a 5-day trial subscription to both of their websites for $35. Ouch! But I want to watch these boys fuck each other so bad, my nipples are hard. It’s pretty embarrassing. He reminded me of the research we’ve both seen that saws that women and men both respond physically to explicit materials at about the same time. Women just don’t expect it.
Well, I’d better go. I think my work load for the next 5 days just got heavier.
Wait… what was Joel doing on that site?